Social Question

rebbel's avatar

What are the do's and dont's, the in's and out's of manhugging?

Asked by rebbel (33251points) February 16th, 2020

Asked of those of us that (regularly) do so.
Not all (sub)cultures, or families, are doing it, but some who indeed don’t may want to.
Can you shed some light?
What’s a nope, what’s a yep, in manhugging?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

25 Answers

Inspired_2write's avatar

My guess is its a normal response when two who haven’t seen from each other etc
It becomes uncomfortable when its prolonged hugging borderline homosexual and causes one to wonder.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I would say don’t grab the ass whatever ya do.Big don’t.
Shouldn’t last longer than about three to four seconds.

Patty_Melt's avatar

It seems to me, back patting is okay, but only two or three. It shouldn’t last long, but if there’s an I’m gonna cry feeling, it is okay to back up and grasp shoulders.
There should be no earlobe licking. I’m pretty sure that is etched in stone somewhere.

cookieman's avatar

“Man Hugging” ?!

Please. It’s just ‘hugging’. No need to over-masculate it just everybody’s sure you’re not gay.

If I met you in person, you can damn well expect a full on bear hug and a back-pat. Maybe a cheek kiss for good measure.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Mmmm! Brown sugar and chocolate scented kiss.
I say go for it.

janbb's avatar

I don’t think there are any rules but probably best to exclude any “ins ans outs” except by prior agreement!

LadyMarissa's avatar

Never heard of any specific rules, so I say for as long as you BOTH feel comfortable!!! Whether it’s a male or female that you’re hugging, I say as soon as the other person starts to back off that you should too.

filmfann's avatar

Man hugging is different than hugging.
A man hug starts with a handshake, and it is not released while both embrace with opposite arms.
That keeps space between the men, and they maintain masculinity while still showing affection.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Yeah. It usually starts with a “dap/handshake,” and the none dominant hand, ends up in embrace.

It’s a show of peace. You give your dominant hand, empty, to the other. A show of trust, and friendship. And wrap the other hand around the man. Making both men vulnerable. Keep your hands above my waste. And, we’re good. Besides, I can always split your wig, with my forehead.
But. It’s a conveying, of trust. I typically give dap with my right hand, and embrace the other man with my left arm.

It’s not unsimilar, from a a “tit up.”
Western cultures, often smashed cups together, in celebration. Usually both beverages, were splashed into each other’s cups. This was not an accident. It was meant to show that neither was poisoning the other… As they would then be consuming each other’s liquid.

There are many expressionist carvings, in the Middle East, which show people with swords sheathed. This was also, not by accident. It meant, that both parties were at peace. These types of art, are common along the “Silk Road.” There is great symbolism, in the art.

Many man, on man, greetings, have such symbolic meanings…

Most people are right handed. So. An empty right hand, symbolises, a lack of violent intent. A mutual bond.

If a man won’t shake my hand, or give me dap. I It’s a sign of disrespect, or possibly animosity.
It’s also, why men do not typically have a hand to hand greeting, with most females. The greeting, is completely different, in most cultures. I may briefly shake a female’s hand. But. I won’t “dap a female up”...

Man code, 101…

Demosthenes's avatar

The key is to only embrace the other man with one arm. Your other arm remains free (or, as others have said, can shake their hand, at least at first) and you only lightly touch them on the back with your hugging arm. You also must utter the sacred manly words “no homo” before the hug, during the hug, and after the hug.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^I respectfully disagree. There’s nothing homosexual, about “man hugging.”
But. There are rules. Just like hugging a female…

cookieman's avatar

^ To heck with that. I hug with both arms.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Both arm hugs are getting more common. The trick is, one arm up, one down, as opposed to embracing a woman. Here’s the trick, hold out your arms then pause, so you can see if the up down doesn’t match.

ucme's avatar

Avoid an erection, his or yours!

anniereborn's avatar

@MrGrimm888 What the hell is a dap ?

MrGrimm888's avatar

Dap, is slang for a specific type of handshake, or greeting. There are variations of it. But. Regionally, it’s very specific.

Handshakes, are fine. But. If someone gives you dap, I automatically respect them, more than a normal person.

You cup your hands, and there should be a distinct pop, when you first contact hands. Then, it becomes a sort of handshake. If you are dapping them up, for the first time it’s standard. When you are saying goodbye, there will be a snap of fingers, following the dap…

There many nuances, to it. It’s basically the same, from coast to coast, with slight differences.

It just gives you instant “street cred.”.. That felt corny, to say…

And, it’s only for men. With all due respect….

LadyMarissa's avatar

^ There you go disrespecting those of us who are female!!! According to this females can do it as long as they’re one of the guys. LoL I’ve seen numerous girls use this greeting!!!

anniereborn's avatar

Dap seems like something teens and young adults would do.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I’m OK being left out.

Demosthenes's avatar

Okay, serious answer: I will do the one-arm “man hug” with guys (and even girls sometimes) if they are people I’m not super close to but still consider friends. I will do a full embrace with close friends and family, regardless of gender.

MrGrimm888's avatar

LMAO! There you go… That’s a dap. They didn’t cup their hands. So. They didn’t do it quite right. But. That’s it, in a nutshell…

It’s definitely something that I learned, when I was a young man. But. All of us grew up, using it. I still do.

The video left out, a few versions. There’s a “biker dap.” Or. That’s what I call it. When you are in a rough place, the original dap, is followed by a smashing of chests, while still holding hands. You basically pull each other into one another. That will communicate, who is more dominant. Kinda. It may be followed up, by a few “friendly” body punches. Or. A straight out fight, if the other feels disrespected…

But. Part of that one, is to maintain grip, so the other guy doesn’t fall down, and lose respect…

This dap, is usually followed, by the “love embrace dap.”

Lol. I love that there was a video, for it. And just like in the end. If you fuck it up, you lose respect, and typically get punked…

anniereborn's avatar

Sounds like something a bunch of frat boys at a kegger would do.

MrGrimm888's avatar

It’s definitely a man thing. That’s about all I can say, about it.
I don’t expect a female, to understand it any more, than I expect males to understand female things…

Such things, are certainly driven by hormones… Testosterone, is a powerful hormone. A blessing, and a curse…

Response moderated (Spam)

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther