Social Question

honeybun35's avatar

Should a female ask a guy advice about another?

Asked by honeybun35 (976points) October 23rd, 2020

I notice asking a guy that either likes you or someone you used to date but don’t like any more will always tell you what you don’t want to hear.

Example one guy says a man checking me out is only being nice because I am a mother figure to him.

The other says the same maybe is doing this to everyone and it’s all in your head.

Next guy says it’s obvious a man is checking you out . Why would he stare at a mother figure.

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18 Answers

kritiper's avatar

No. You probably won’t get a straight answer from a guy. Talk to your female friends about it. And don’t just assume it’s a “mother figure” thing.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
LadyMarissa's avatar

Guys don’t think like girls do, so I don’t think that you’ll get good advice from a guy!!! The example one guy…IF the guy was checking you out, it does NOT matter IF it was because he was seeing you as a mother figure because IF he didn’t need a mother figure, he wouldn’t be checking you out assuming that was his sole purpose. I prefer to find out for myself. Guy checks me out, asks me out, I like him, so I say yes to a date. Then IF I realize that he’s looking for something that I’m not ready to give him, I decline the next date. Just guessing…I don’t think that you’re old enough to be anyone’s mother figure yet!!!

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
janbb's avatar

@LadyMarissa I believe the OP said on another thread that she was in her 50s. She just sounds young. I may be wrong.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@janbb At my age, she’s still a youngster!!! Anyway, some women enjoy being a cougar & IF he was checking her out, then maybe he likes the idea of dating a cougar. It would still be up to her to find out his intentions & decide IF it’s what she wants. I sure wouldn’t be asking an ex what another guy is thinking. It’s totally possible that he saw a good looking woman & didn’t pay attention to her age. I’d simply see it as a compliment & go on with my life until he tried to take it any further!!!

KNOWITALL's avatar

@janbb Seriously? Wow, I never would have guessed, I thought she was maybe 20 by her relationship questions…haha!

gorillapaws's avatar

“I notice asking a guy that either likes you or someone you used to date but don’t like any more will always tell you what you don’t want to hear.”

It’s surprising to know that your ex boyfriend gives you unhelpful advice with regards to dating other men? If you had a big thing for a man and he was asking your advice about how to get with some other woman, would you be offering your very best advice to help set him up with her?

What an odd question.

There are certainly situations where you can get honest advice from a man, but not when there’s some kind of tension between you both (whether mutual or one-sided). Some of the young ladies in my office ask my advice and I do my best to help them out. I’m older and married and I love them all like younger sisters and try my honest best to give them relationship advice when my opinion is sought.

Jaxk's avatar

I’m not sure what you’re at here but no one I know is checking out a girl or woman because they want a mother figure. Women are good looking. If you see someone that is especially good looking, you look. Any man will do this (myself included). Some merely conceal it better than others. They even write songs about it.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Hell just chalk it up as sour grapes and don’t sweat it. They’re probably assed off because you won’t go out with them or give them your attention. Life sux and then you die. They’ll get over it. As my old pappy used to day, five years from now they’ll never know the difference.

honeybun35's avatar

Laughing out loud. That’s what someone else said because the attention is on someone else.
I always wondered about that. It always seems to be the ones you won’t give a time of day.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

@honeybun35 Bingo, by Jove I think she got it

crazyguy's avatar

If a guy is “checking you out” he is evaluating the possibility of having sex with you, whether he sees you as a mother figure or not. However, keep in mind that most guys, especially those in established relationships, do not want any commitments.

honeybun35's avatar

So you are saying this person is looking because they eventually want to have sex? They are not just looking to be looking?

gorillapaws's avatar

@honeybun35 “So you are saying this person is looking because they eventually want to have sex? They are not just looking to be looking?”

If the person has a penis, and he’s “that kind of looking” at someone, then there is a very high chance that he would be more than happy to put said penis into whatever he was “that kind of looking” at.

honeybun35's avatar

Wow and I thought he was just bored or looking my way.

janbb's avatar

@honeybun35 Maybe we can just cut to the chase and suggest that any man who ever crossed your path wanted to get in the sack with you? Then you won’t have to ask us every time someone glances your way.

crazyguy's avatar

@honeybun35 Let me ask you this. When you are attracted to a guy, do you “kind of look at” him?

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