General Question

fred's avatar

Should I marry a great girl that I don't love?

Asked by fred (36points) August 3rd, 2007 from iPhone

hot hot hot educated well off not too bright on zoloft

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

FearlessRahul's avatar

If you don't love her, nothing else matters. Find another great girl you do love. Otherwise you'll end up regretting marrying her, and she deserves better.

extolsmith's avatar

If she is pregnant, yes.

Tennis5tar's avatar

No. It's not fair on her... or you. If there is no love, then you'll most likely want to jump ship at some point in the future. How hot she is will not matter in time and you'l have nothing left to stay for.

Perchik's avatar

I was kind of hoping for more info. on the question. "hot hot hot well educated..." says to me, that you aren't even willing to put time into describing the problem.

So no, Don't marry her.

maggiesmom1's avatar

Based on your description - no. She deserves better than someone who would describe her like that.

Tennis5tar's avatar

Here Here maggiesmom1!

mzgator's avatar

It's not fair to you or to her or to your future possible children to marry someone you do not love. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but there are from time to time hard patches. Some of these trying times would break any marriage into if there wasn't love. I love my husband very much, and he loves me. Our love for each other has sustained our relationship for over 14 years through some great times and some hard times too.

GothGirl1313's avatar

No. Not only have you admitted to not having love for her, but her description is summed up in one sentence, with 'hot' repeated three times, 'not too bright' but she's 'well off' and is 'on Zoloft'. Do her a favor, let her find someone better who will give her love and respect.

extolsmith's avatar

Marry well, grow to love her and be happy. Yes.

flameboi's avatar

nope, is not about how u see her, is just that it will be like building castles in the sky. is not gonna work and u?ll regret it 4 the rest of your life...

Spargett's avatar

If your answer is imediatly "yes", then the answer is "no".

mirza's avatar

unless shes pregnant, NO

you cant expect the rest of your life with someone you dont love - she might be hot right now but 10 years from now her beauty might wear off and then you are stuck with a not-so-hot-and-lovable wife

Get married to someone you love and you'll know when you find it

leftspin's avatar

These answers are very Western. In some parts of India to this day, marriages are pre-arranged. I use to have a friend from there in this situation and we talked about it a lot. In this situation you learn to love the other person after you're married.

I don't see how this strategy is any less valid than any other.

rovdog's avatar

I do sympathize with your comment but these answers don't strike me as particularly Western. Arranged marriages are nowadays pretty well scanned these days. People are matched up by their families but very often they have the decision whether or not to wed. I also can't be sure but I don't think this is the situation that Fred is in. If I had an arranged Indian wedding (not that I would) to a woman that I felt was "hot, well educated but not too bright and on Zoloft", I think I would have to think about carefully but I might go for the next in line. I do prefer women that are treating their depression versus those that are not, which is something Fred might think about. Paxil over Zoloft anyways. Fred- I'll second Ben- the answer is no.

glial's avatar

No, even if she is pregnant. You can be a great father without being married. You can't have a great marriage without love.

fred's avatar

Let me clarify. I was on an iPhone when I asked the question, hence the terse description of the girl in question. The point is, we don't match in several aspects, one of which is she doesn't get my sense of humor and I have to constantly tell her I was kidding. Metaphor, irony, forget it. She's sweet as pie, technically smart I believe, but we have such different levels of social protocol it's uncomfortable. I could go on and on about her good qualities and I wish her all the happiness she deserves, but the main issue is I'm not in love. I was wondering if others had similar experiences and had grown to love the person or just felt they had made an expedient mistake later.

joli's avatar

No one can answer this question for you. Why would you want to take such a huge risk? She doesn't *get you*; your sense of humor, (or is it sarcasm aimed to pull her down?), and you're "uncomfortable" with her in social situations? Why would you even consider a partenership with this person? What does *hot* have to do with combining lives? (Unless you mean chemistry that takes you to the moon when you look into her eyes!) Do you really want to wake up next to her EVERY morning prepared to take care of her in sickness and in health? Do you know what love is?

MonterreyCelia's avatar

maybe! What does being in love mean to you? Feelings come and go...combatability and commitment mean a lot! You could be sexually or passionately in love but its not a healthy relationship. This is a tough question?

Oz_1's avatar

As Joli said…its up to you to make the ultimate decision….however based on what you have said…No…don’t marry her if you don’t love her.

theredjawa's avatar

NO! Someone else will come along that you will love and then you can marry her.

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