Social Question

Mimishu1995's avatar

What do you think about this comment on my character?

Asked by Mimishu1995 (19910points) 3 weeks ago

I’m in a very small private FB art group. The group only has a few members and they are all people I know in real life, and no one outside of the group can see the group’s activities. The idea of the group is that we would post our random works of art in one place so that we don’t have to do that on our messaging app. It’s just a friendly place to share random arts between friends.

So I posted some sketches of the Continental Army captain of my story on the group. Accompanied the art was a short basic introduction of the captain’s situation and personality. I wrote that he is depressed and plagued with guilt for executing his best friend. Then under the comment someone wrote “depression haha”. I asked why she laughed at the guy’s depression, and she answered that she commented like that because she has it worse than the guy.

I know that person in real life, and I can confirm that she struggles with some mental disorder that kind of hampers her daily life. I can’t disclose the disorder for personal reasons. But her comment was really jarring to me. I don’t know what to think of it. On one hand she does struggle from mental problems, and besides this is just a fictional character, so I don’t think it’s worth it to fixate on the matter. But on the other hand, I fail to see the joke here. I’m utterly baffled at how the captain’s depression could be funny to her.

What do you think about the comment?

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39 Answers

Zaku's avatar

I think the comments are not much to go on, and seem to me not very much about you or your art at all, but I expect are much more about her, and that she would like more attention. It might be worthwhile to talk to her, both to offer her some listening that could be helpful for her, but also she might have some insight on depression, and some might be interesting feedback on how you expressed it in the drawing, and/or how that landed with her, as someone greatly depressed.

I would not take it personally, though perhaps they may have had their depression triggered by the word depression, and/or by the image.

Caravanfan's avatar

I’d let it go. It’s just a Facebook comment.

janbb's avatar

I wouldn’t worry about it overmuch either even though you explained this is a closed group of people you know. I think the “ha” meant she was uncomfortable, not that she found your character’s depiction funny. It’s more a reflection of her feelings about herself and since you know she has mental health issues, why not let it go?

filmfann's avatar

Sometimes people talk without thinking. Let it go.

rebbel's avatar

“I’m utterly baffled at how the captain’s depression could be funny to her.”

May I ask what your reason is for being” utterly baffled”?
Is it because you modelled the Captain after a real life person (that you know personally)?
Or is it because she was qualifying your ‘baby’ /the fruit of your hard work?
Or something else altogether?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@rebbel I was confused because she said that his depression was funny because she has it worse than him. I don’t see how her having it worse than him could make his depression funny.

That is assuming that she was making a joke out of it rather than feeling uncomfortable, like some jellies here suggest.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Some people need to feel like they have it worse than anyone, and no one could possibly understand. It’s a form of narcissism IMO.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Sounds to me like some one having a personal pity party. Try not to read something into it that may not really be there.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

After thinking more about this, I suspect that she may possibly have some resentment toward you, because she lacks your talent. You are a gifted author and artist, and she may have some hidden angst about that. I still fell more that it’s just some lady having a “Boo hoo, let’s all feel sorry for me” day.

kneesox's avatar

@Mimishu1995, it sounds like your feelings are hurt, but I honestly don’t think this is any reflection on your character. Some people have to take everything personally. This sounds like a person who would say “Hah, you think you have it bad” to anyone’s negative expression.

It also seems like something that would sound really different if you were all sitting around in someone’s studio sipping tea. You’d hear how it was said and just brush it off as a reflection of her character.

Her “haha” was not about humor at all.

rebbel's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Thank you.
I also don’t think she was joking, if anything it sounds a bit sarcastic towards you(r character), and self pity towards herself (which in itself can be understandable; some depressed people have that trait (as a symptom)).
My reaction, if I was quick and witty enough that instance, would be something to the effect of: “Yeah, go figure, even cartoon characters these days suffer from depression…”

kritiper's avatar

It sounds like a personal matter of hers that she stated openly. Brush it off as it shouldn’t matter to you.
This person could be like someone I know who hasn’t anything good to say about anything I do.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Why are you taking the word of someone you call ”...struggles with some mental disorder that kind of hampers her daily life…” ?

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Love_my_doggie's avatar

@Mimishu1995 We’ve all known you for years, and I think we can verify that your character is superb.

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kneesox's avatar

Ohh, @Mimishu1995, did you mean “my character” to be the character in your novel, the captain? This definition:

character
A person in a literary work. For example, Ebenezer Scrooge is a character in A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens.

I think most of us thought you meant your character in this sense:

noun
1. the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
2. one such feature or trait; characteristic.
3. moral or ethical quality:
“a man of fine, honorable character”

janbb's avatar

^^ I understood it to mean her fictional character from reading the details but it does seem that some people are confused. (And even confused about which social platform she is talking about.)

Brian1946's avatar

In her depressive gestalt, she might think that unless you’re as depressed as she is, you can’t write about depression.

However, you don’t have to be chronically depressed to know what can cause situational, and sometimes lifelong guilt and depression.

Also, as you’re one who has experienced happiness and depression, you may actually be more aware of what would make you depressed, than someone who might find a way to be depressed about almost anything, and not be sensitive to the differences between sources of joy and unhappiness.

So in regard to your character, who wouldn’t feel profoundly depressed for executing their best friend?

Incoherency_'s avatar

Wow, I really got it wrong then.

I thought a jelly that @Mimishu1995 knows in real life and on FB, derided Mimi’s character because Mimi executed her best friend. :P

canidmajor's avatar

To answer your actual question, I wonder if the commenter is dismissing the Captain’s situational depression as lesser than her own generalized, long term, clinical depression. I think you should not take the comment to heart.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@Incoherency Wow, I really got it wrong then

Not at all! Many Jellies know each other IRL. Often, existing members invite their friends and family members to join. Some people meet here and then continue their relationships on Facebook.

flutherother's avatar

It’s not a comment about you personally so I wouldn’t take it personally. It is a comment on a character you created which I think is legitimate as you posted the sketches on a Facebook art group which can be seen as an invitation to comment. However, it seems to me your friend’s comments don’t even relate to your invented character so much as her illness and how she feels misunderstood.

Zaku's avatar

@Incoherency_ Wow, high score! I’m going to try to remember that for if/when someone asks, “What are the some of the wildest Internet misunderstandings you’ve heard about?”

Dutchess_III's avatar

MIMI EXECUTED HER BEST FRIEND???

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Say it ain’t so Joe! Or, Joesphine! Why oh why?

Brian1946's avatar

@Dutchess_III That’s @Incoherency_ ‘s monumental misunderstanding.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Just adding to the confusion!

kneesox's avatar

@Dutchess_III I’m sure she didn’t mean to. She’s not like that, despite the tommygun. I think she must have intended to execute someone else’s best friend.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Maybe she made someone an offer, and they refused it.

Brian1946's avatar

@kneesox

“She’s not like that, despite the tommygun. I think she must have intended to execute someone else’s best friend.”

What a relief to know that’s all it was!

It’s no wonder she has such an intimate understanding of the Continental Army Captain’s feelings. ;-)

Mimishu1995's avatar

Thank you everyone for your answer. Yeah, I was quite shocked when I asked this question, because I was expecting her to be compassionate toward the Captain’s situation, given that she had experience with depression herself. She is the last person I could think of who could laugh at the guy. It also has a lot to do with the story itself, which is about how to deal with depression and guilt, how misunderstood depressed people can be, and how a simple gesture of kindness could be a gift from Heaven to some people (the Loyalist girl the guy falls in love with).

When I first saw the comment, I thought she was just trying to make a light-hearted joke out of the situation, because there was no way I thought she really thought his depression was funny. So I asked her, expecting to see a good punchline. And then I got that. I was still confused, because I thought maybe she thought I was just using the word “depression” as a joke (the word “depression” in my language is sometimes used in sarcastic situations, and I’m known in the group as a friendly person who likes to joke). So I asked her if her condition is really worse than the guy. And then she told me her condition is worse than him, and that’s why she is on medication to function and goes to the hospital sometimes. That was when I had to check out of the conversation because I realized it was getting off-topic.

I think @canidmajor has it right. She could be thinking that the guy only experiences depression because he executed his friend, while she has been struggling with her condition for years. She also has to take medication and go to the hospital while the Captain just sits around with a sad face. To me personally, pain is pain, no matter how severe your situation is. But that’s just my personal opinion.

But I think I took the matter a bit too personally. I had other people in the group showing appreciation for the character, even though they don’t fully comprehend how severe the Captain’s situation is. Someone even gives me feedback on how to make him look more convincinly depressed :P So that’s something to look for.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Or maybe some of you have read between the line and found out my skeleton in the closet. Those who do, now keep silent. Nothing ever happens, I didn’t kill anyone, and all is fine, understand? {point gun on head} ~

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Now, put cotton balls on your cheeks and talk like Marlin Brando. ; )

janbb's avatar

Love them Mimi!

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Amazing work. Uniform details spot on, as well. Kudos!

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