Arranged marriages,should it be outlawed?

If they were outlawed then the people who DO benefit fro them would be screwed. Most arranged marriages today still need the individual’s consent. It’s only society pressuring them that makes them do it.

I’m pretty much opposed to making laws about non-vital stuff like this. If they consent, why should it be illegal? If they don’t consent, there is no law saying they have to marry, it’s only social pressure.

Besides, based on how much my family hated some guys I dated (who turned out to be jerks), I’m sure that families are right about things like this some of the time, at least!

I don’t think the government should be involved with decisions such as this. I think there are better things laws should be put in place to help.

Then again I am free to marry who I please so then I am not in that position of someone making that decision for me but sometimes other people know better than you because they are outside looking in.

Arranged marriages are not a part of our culture. We don’t need a law here as people must freely consent to any marriage.

Thousands of Asian Brides and Grooms are being forced into arranged marriages each year,they often get married in western countries,those that refuse are sometimes killed,or have to run away from their families to escape persecution.
Fundamentally the practice is wrong,however if conducted in their country of birth then i have no problem with it,but under the laws of the countries where it’s not acceptable then i think it should be outlawed.

@goober: A few thousands, out of billions. Clearly, I should divert my attention to this and ignore that silly little HIV/AIDS epidemic. I’m so very misguided.

And I’d like to see some evidence.

“Fundamentally the practice is wrong”
“if conducted in their country of birth then i have no problem with it”

You’re saying that these people become runaways or are killed, you think arranged marriages – regardless of willing participation in the vast majority of cases are wrong (which is opinion, not fact by the way), and that you have no problem with it so long as it doesn’t happen in your backyard.

Aren’t you a peach?

Let’s say that arranged marriages are outlawed in the U.S., just for argument’s sake. People will still arrange them anyway, just as people engage in other customs that are outlawed yet have very deep cultural roots.

The problem I see is one of enforcement. “No, it’s not arranged, I looove him,” will be hard to disprove. If someone backs out and is killed, there are ways to make it look like some other thing. It would be hard for an investigation to penetrate the situation to find out facts, and hard to bring to justice if it were made a crime.

That said, there are already laws against the worst things you fear that would occur, such as murder, manslaughter, and kidnapping. These are perfectly good laws with wide social approval for their existence. It doesn’t matter why someone is murdered – if they are murdered, the murder is the crime.

I can’t say as I see a need to add more laws on top, and entangle the government ever more deeply into our private lives.

My daughter went to high school with several people who’s marriages had already been arranged for them. She was impressed with these people because they had a sense of assuredness. They didn’t stress some of the same things other high school girls did. She even said to me at one point (being paticularily frustrated with dating) “I wish we lived in a society that condoned arranged marriage mom because I know you would choose someone who would be good for me.” Funny thing is that my daughter is about the most independent thinking person I know.
I guess I’m saying that just because societies do things differently from us it doesn’t mean it’s bad or wrong. Just different.

@asmonet,sorry for airing my views.
I hope your parents force you to marry someone you dislike and maybe then you can offer an educated view.

@Goober: I repeat, aren’t you a peach?

For the record my mother wouldn’t, she had a common-law marriage. She’s the last person to tell me who to marry or how. Even if she tried, nothing would come of her efforts. I am my own woman.

Sticks and stones, kiddo. Sticks and stones.
And by the way, you’re new so maybe you haven’t noticed yet that Fluther is not a soap box. Step down, have a healthy and mature debate and we’ll get along fine. :)

It seems that you stand on the soap box,I’m no kiddo and i reiterate,come back when you have an educated view point to offer.
I cannot debate this with you as you seem to have the answers,i refer you to your initial posting.BYE
Lets say when you’re past 30,because at your age you don’t really have that much to offer in the way of life’s experience.No offence

“because at your age you don’t really have that much to offer in the way of life’s experience.”

That, sadly is a very restrictive view of the world. Sorry, but it’s the internet. You don’t know me or my background. But again, it’s the internet and you’re entitled to your opinion.

And just like the internet, apparently to you, this is serious business.

Funnily enough, you’re on a question and answer site, and complaining about me having the answer. Think about that one for a second.

I stand by my statement.

why does age always have to equal sage advice and wisdom?

I have found asmonet to have the mind of a wise old sage!

I agree Judi, I know many 20 something year olds that at first glance many people think just for their age are just too inexperienced. Age does not always equal the mind and maturity of sage advice IMO.

@judi: Aw, /blushes.