Is it OK to be controversial on Fluther?

Most people welcome it, in a friendly way

Some do not, but you get that everywhere.

As long as there is no name calling etc. a little controversy can spark good conversation.

Umm, yes?

In my experience controversial is a good thing as long as the discourse is respectful, well thought out, and well written. As my human relations professor liked to say, “we can disagree without being disagreeable.”

Yeppers. But walk the line.

@asmonet…yeppers?

Yes! Just, as the others said, be polite and friendly in your controversial opinion. Or at least respectful. Or at the very, very least not nasty.

@SuperMouse Goodie. That’s what I was hoping. In a sense, don’t be an asshole. The (other) golden rule!

Don’t be controversial for the sake of controversy, unless you make it explicit that you simply want to balance out a discussion. I for one want to know that the person I am debating is being sincere about their ideas and isn’t simply trying to stir the waters. But if people with opposing viewpoints simply kept quiet out of conformity, or if people on the same side did not allow themselves to see and give voice to opposing arguments, then we wouldn’t have much of a debate, would we. So by all means, be controversial, just do so in the spirit of advancing knowledge through discussion; and in that spirit, of course, be open to dissenting views yourself.

Look at the question that was asked just after your’s.

Controversial, fine. Offensive or combative, not fine.

@Darwin wouldn’t anything that was controversial be offensive to someone?

Ummmmm, I’m being controversial in this thread, and I’m getting bashed a shitload.

Don’t worry about being controversial or not, just make sure there is substance behind your question… Don’t argue for argument’s sake.

The whole point of this site is COMMUNITY… for that to work all we need is a little sincerity, respect, and above all well thought out discourse.

I’m all for funny, sarcastic, even cynical answers and/or questions… just make sure they’re not offensive or mean spirited.

We’re all friends here (neophite or no) and we all have the right to answer based on our own personal experience and according to our beliefs.

@Lefty_the_space_monkey.. a very wise friend once told me “You have a right to voice your opinion… i have the right not to give a shit”

@Lefty_the_space_monkey just in case that reads different than it did in my mind… i meant things need only be offensive to you if you let them.

@Dr_C That’s how it read.

But I can’t determine how others will perceive what I say. If I say something controversial, someone is bound to be offended by it…

You can be controversial, but be prepared to defend your position.

If you are just playing games, people will tire of talking to you, but if you are being genuine, you will get better responses. (maybe not friendlier, but better)

@fireside…I think we are a good example of differing opinions tempered with mutual respect aren’t we?

Don’t worry, @Mtl_zack, I got your back ;)

As long as you’re polite with it.

@Lefty_the_space_monkey – If respectfully phrased and intelligently reasoned, controversial need not be offensive, unless you insist upon seeing it as such.

“Where there is an open mind there will always be a frontier.” – Charles F. Kettering

“The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind” – E. B. White

“Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart.” – Phil Jackson

“Kids… you tried your best and failed miserably, the lesson is: Never try.”
-Homer J. Simpson

@Darwin I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry… i couldn’t resist!

@Darwin

Fair enough, but whose perspective are we coming from?

It’s okay to be controversial as long as you don’t think it’s offensive? As long as nobody thinks it’s offensive? As long as the community at large thinks it is inoffensive? As long as the mods don’t think it’s offensive?

@Lefty_the_space_monkey – How would you define controversial? What are you trying to figure out? Everyone has said that you can be controversial, just as long as you temper it with respect for the time and thoughts of others.

But this isn’t specific to Fluther, this is how life is.

I’ve been controversial. In fact, as a Baha’i my religious beliefs are pretty controversial to those who believe in God and those who don’t. But the key for me is respect. I don’t bash other people’s beliefs just to make myself feel better.

If you want to ask about 2012, that could be considered controversial.
If you want to ask if there are aliens, that could be controversial.
Neither of those topics has to be disrespectful.

@Blondesjon – i would like to think so.

@Lefty_the_space_monkey – What it comes down to is be controversial if you wish, but do not call people names, do not announce that other people’s opinions are stupid, and in general, discuss the subject in a civil manner.

If you discover a discussion you feel is offensive you can do one of two things: flag and move on, or just move on. Of course, you can also stick around and be offended but that is your choice, and you must express your offense in a civil manner.

The thing about controversy is that it can create an informative and heated discussion without going overboard if those involved keep it that way. a great example is this thread where a lone Jelly (@Mtl_zack) is freely expressing his opinion… unpopular though they may be in that particular thread, without being insulted and is fielding all answers without being insulted or insulting. That is the whole oint of discoruse… whetehre or not it’s productive is for each to decide on his/her own.

@Dr_C is 100% right. I will defend to the death Mtl Zacks’s right to talk whatever brand of shit he likes. I will also defend, with no less vigor, my own right to tell him he is a young, clueless, fool.

@Blondesjon HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You sir took my point, drove it home, and made me come close to pissing myself from laughing so hard… thanx much!

Well, of course! (I sure as heck wouldn’t be so popular otherwise…)

Though… there’s a distinct difference between being controversial and being a tasteless jackass.

You will find that we are very open-minded here on fluther. Why, once we had a very nice controversy. Fun was had by all. A few drinks were consumed, and some amateur fisticuffs ensued. Alas, the controversy was called off when one of the neighbors called the police. Apparently they didn’t like the way the Coke vs Pepsi discussion was going.

So, now, we are back to our normal, graceful, polite and warm selves. I’m sure there will be another controversy in our future. But it may be a while.

I remember that, but it was Pepsi vs Coke.

I suppose I should add a caveat to my little soap-box speech about open-mindedness. Fluther is a community, and as such people don’t like to offend each other, while the mods try with varying success to mitigate any conflict that risks alienating members. So people do tend to back down from controversy a little more than the spirit of open debate demands. But the same can be said for any argument between friends; if you want to keep the friendship, there are some battles that just aren’t worth fighting. I myself have never seen the mods take any excessive action beyond calming a discussion that has become too heated, which I myself appreciate. I feel nothing is to be gained by a flamewar.

I’m not so much controversial as I am sarcastic, more often than not, so I hope controversy is welcome here because I have a feeling I’m going to go on a tear here before too long. Something’s been building inside and I think I’m almost ready to unleash on Fluther. Not the members themselves, just the site. And not in a bad way either, just in a controversial kind of way.

@DrBill…pepsi

@DrBill: I respectfully disagree (although I’m not sure there’s a difference).

@Blondesjon – you mean, Coke, I’m sure. this was settled, let’s not relive the carnage of the cola wars : )

@fireside The Baha’i are interesting. Care to summarize the religions’ beliefs? I could never quite figure them out.

In brief, since this isn’t really the place:

Oneness of Religion/God – All religion arises from the same source.
Oneness of Humanity – All people are equal and worthy of respect.
Independent Investigation of Truth

There’s a difference between controversial and being a dick, argumentative for the sake of arguing, or a troll. So long as one is polite in engaging the discussion and polite in addressing all people in the discussion, it is certainly fine to express an alternative point of view.

@dynamicduo…scott is a dick…

@Dr_C I disagree that some things are only offensive if you let them. That works fine when they offend beliefs… but when a statement/&tc. attacks the autonomy, safety or dignity of a person (or group of people), it’s quite different.

So respecting people – and their right to define/understand matters that affect them far more than they affect you, including themselves (which may be part of why stereotypes aren’t generally acceptable, for instance) – is an important standard. Their views, on the other hand, are more open for being debated (imho).

@resmc i’ve been called a beaner… (mexican heritage)... Euro trash (spanish heritage.. live in europe for a while) and many other stereotypical names based on both my ethnicity, place of residence (Mexican kid in an american prep-school… “Is your father a drug dealer?”).... so i stand by what i said.. if i let all those comments get to me i would be bitter and depressed…. words can only hurt if you let them.

@Dr_C Same here, actuall!y… tho oddly, few can tell by sight.

However, just because you are fine with that, doesn’t mean others aren’t made to feel very unwelcome or even unsafe in an environment by the same – and it perfectly legitimate & worth of our respect if that’s how others are.

For instance, i’m not in much contact with that side of my heritage we have in common, so disrespect towards it doesn’t hurt me personally (tho in terms of being around someone backwards enough to feel that way, it is unpleasant in a sense). Yet is it worth making my own lack of being insulted by that the basis of determining whether or not it’s acceptable for people to insult aspects of others’ identities that they didn’t choose to have, yet which can play a vital role in their lives?

Sure, allowing ourselves to be offended too much is a problem, but really that’s a private matter for each of us… yet it’s even more of a problem when people respect others so little they allow themselves to be jerks. The more emphasis we place on how bad it is to openly dislike another’s offensiveness, the less people are apt to treat such jerkishness as unacceptable. Too much of this, and often you see people either very unhappy & less socially engaged, or – more likely – less people (esp. minorities) stay in the place… sometimes (not too likely here, of course), this attracts those who enjoy being piggish. Which is sad, cuz it’s not hard at all not to be a jerk.