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SierraNichole's avatar

Should I be jealous?

Asked by SierraNichole (135points) June 16th, 2009

My boyfriend is in a band and they are getting pretty serious. They are releasing an ep soon that they will send to labels. but they need a chick for the cover. My boyfriend is pretty much checking out girls constantly and searching for them on myspace because they have to be gorgeous. It makes me feel insecure and inadaquate. How should i handle this?

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13 Answers

asmonet's avatar

Ask him not to.

His band mates have eyes too. And I’m sure they’re perfectly capable of finding that perfect pair of tits and ass for the cover.

The question you’re asking is not ‘Should I be jealous?’ but rather ‘Does my boyfriend respect my emotions and needs?’ You’re allowed to feel however you want over it.

asmonet's avatar

And looking at your avatar, I think you’re very pretty.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I agree with Miss Monet. It could definitely only be that he wants a great cover and he’s not trying or wanting to jeopardize your relationship in any way, but I understand where you’re coming from. The other band members have eyes too, right? Let them look. Or suggest you be put on the cover – you’re freakin’ gorgeous! They control what kind of image they want, not a record label!

tinyfaery's avatar

I could see how you could be jealous, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If he’s ignoring you or spending an inordinate amount of time ogling women, then maybe you should be concerned about his priorities and his ideas about women. If he’s just concerned about marketing his EP then why should you be jealous? You should support his effort. You have eyes, too. Maybe you can ogle women together. ;)

Either way, jealousy is useless. If he doesn’t want you find someone else who does.

Judi's avatar

If they’re serious tell them to hire someone from a local modeling agency. They will get serious talent and not some bimbo. (hopefully.) If you can’t handle them hiring an album cover model then you are going to have a tough time when they get rich and famous and girls are throwing themselves all over them.

augustlan's avatar

You can feel however you feel. I wouldn’t be jealous in that situation though.

cak's avatar

If you can say he’s not just looking to look and it’s solely for the album cover, you might be overreacting. He’s probably very wrapped up in this, right now. To ask him not to participate in the selection process might not be a good thing for you to throw out there, it could be a sign of how things will be in the future. He could really take it as you will not do well with the entire “band” life.

I’m not sure what he is hoping to accomplish by looking at random girls, not all of them are going to be jumping at the chance to be on an cover. Judi is right, they need to actually hire talent. Or, recruit someone they know.

It’s probably time for you to really think about whether or not you will be able to handle this lifestyle. There are going to be women, everywhere. possibly some men, too!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Honestly, yeah I’d be hurt a bit because I know what they’re looking for and 90% of women don’t look like that at any given moment. Think of it as business if it helps keep it from getting under your skin too deeply. I’m sure your guy isn’t even making the connection between the image for the cover art and what you are to him.

darkwolf8476's avatar

I guess I can see where insecurity would be felt in this….but you need to remember that he’s just looking up some girl for a CD cover….not a new girlfriend. The only way I can see your jealousy being justified is if he starts trying to either get you to look like them, or tries to start getting to know one of them.

dynamicduo's avatar

Sometimes jealousy does have a benefit, but in this case I cannot see how it is beneficial, in fact I see it is detrimental. He is simply looking for someone to be on his CD cover so as to increase the potential sales of it and thus his success. It has absolutely nothing to do with your relationship at all. I would focus on understanding and overcoming your reaction to this. Why does it make you feel bad? You could ask him not to look for people while you are with him, and you can remove yourself from the room if he chooses to use his time to look for the cover girl.

It’s not personal. It’s business. I really think you need to keep this in mind.

Blondesjon's avatar

This is simple. You either trust him or you don’t.

If you are feeling insecure and inadequate than he is not giving you enough reason to trust him.

If you are under the age of thirty…find someone you can feel good around all of the time.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

maybe he isn’t checking you out for the cover because he doesn’t want his girl on the cover for other people to check out?
don’t worry too much over it, because it seems like it’s, as @dynamicduo said, more business than personal. you can still let him know you’re feeling a little insecure about it if you want reassurance though.

MerMaidBlu's avatar

I don’t think you should be jealous, it sounds like he’s just really focused on trying to pull everything together. This is really big stuff and I’d say he’s just trying to get it all perfect. You could even try joining him… which could definitely keep his true interest on you

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