General Question

Supergirl's avatar

When did you know you were ready for a baby?

Asked by Supergirl (1686points) July 12th, 2009

Was it a specific moment where it hit you? Conversations over time with your Sig O? Chance? None of the above?

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38 Answers

whitenoise's avatar

It was about 12 years ago, when I had a girlfriend and realized that I would not want to have a child with her and therefore felt like I needed to end the relationship. (I did)

Darwin's avatar

I never felt “ready” for a baby, but I reached a point where I was financially and emotionally able to care for one, and I had a partner who wanted babies, so we decided to go for it.

sakura's avatar

We pretty much knew after a couple of months, but I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone, as not everyone is secure enough in themselves or in their relationship. Everybody is different. We talkedabout how it would effect what we wanted out of life and whether or not we wanted to be ‘tied’ to a baby when our friends were out and about. However we now find it quite amusing as none of our friends understood what we were going through when we fisrt had our daughter and dissed us for putting her first before coming out and when we moaned about being tired etc… Now they are all having babies and going throuh the same stresses – FUNNY especially seeing as our daughter is now nearly 11!!

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I’m convinced that I never will be ready, or willing for that matter.

nebule's avatar

I was never going to be ready…that’s probably why God surprised me!

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

when I found a recipe for one, and a pan large enough to put it into.

Jack79's avatar

I always loved babies, especially the ones around 2–5 when they start speaking and saying all those funny things. I always found that fascinating, and loved to play with my younger cousins. I think I started wanting to become a dad the moment my cousin was born (I was only 7 at the time), or in any case around 10, when she was 3. There were other babies constantly coming into the family after that, at regular intervals, and I always loved to play with them and take care of them and teach them stuff.

However, even though I always wanted to be a dad in theory, I knew I wasn’t financially ready for such a responsibility until I was around 29 (and had had the same girlfriend for 3 years). That’s the first time we discussed parenting seriously, but she wasn’t really ready herself, so we didn’t move in that direction. I eventually had my daughter when I was 33 (with somebody else).

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think anyone’s ever ready. My first I had because that was part of my ‘plan’. My second I had because I got pregnant and wanted to keep him.

suzyq2463's avatar

I was absolutely terrified about having babies. So terrified, in fact, that I managed to avoid it for seven years of our marriage. My fears revolved around whether or not I could possibly be a good mother (I was sure I couldn’t). But, my husband really, really wanted kids, and I finally relented.

I still remember the moment the pregnancy test came back positive. I was elated and devastated at the same time. All through the nine months I went back and forth between feeling “ready” and feeling absolute, gut-wrenching panic. And, ready or not, the baby came and I was awash in love.

As others have said, I don’t believe you’re ever truly “ready” because you can’t possibly know what it’s like to have a baby until you have one. It’s the most wondrous and terrifying experience I know—and well worth it. But you sort of have to decide, “I’m going to do it” regardless of whether or not you “feel” ready for it.

Bri_L's avatar

When I had asked myself am I prepared to do everything I can for it. Am I prepared to think of it before me. Give it selfless love. Do anything I can for it save the occasional recharging I as a human need to be at my best for the baby. When my thoughts were more for a baby than for me.

ubersiren's avatar

If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never do it. My first baby was a surprise. Everything will fall into place once the baby comes. All the things you fretted about before seem insignificant.

Bri_L's avatar

@ubersiren – Very true. I forgot to point out that I never actually “felt ready”. You never feel like you know enough and when you leave that hospital and it’s all on you, whoa. But then you just start doing what you do.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I’m 24 and I still have no idea if I actually want kids or not. So much is wrong with the world…

ubersiren's avatar

Yeah, I don’t think anyone “feels” ready. Who can be sure he will be the best parent? I always was laid back about the whole baby issue. I knew I was meant to have a baby from an early age.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@DrasticDreamer that was always the case

ratboy's avatar

When your water breaks.

tadpole's avatar

@ratboy hmmm and not before time might i suggest….

jamielynn2328's avatar

My baby is 8½ and I’m still unsure if I’m ready. And I’m ready for puberty, am I ready for him to be a teenager? Am I ready for college, for him to leave me, for him to fall in love?? Nah, I’m still not sure if I am ready.

ShanEnri's avatar

You will never be ready! My first was chance and my second was planned! We weren’t ready for either one!

cyn's avatar

When I have a house, a car, and a neat job…then I will be ready for a baby…

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@cyndihugs you still won’t be ready…those things don’t make parenthood easier

cyn's avatar

you also have to be ready mentally….

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@cyndihugs no such thing…in terms of babies…
except when it’s your second or third

cyn's avatar

If you want to have a baby, you’ll know when it’s coming…wether you accept it or you’re planning to give it away….it’s part of your life. You need to know how to support yourself as well as the baby.

Aethelwine's avatar

I have three children and I don’t think I was ever “ready” to have any of them. You learn as you go and do the best that you can do.

sap82's avatar

I think the day I realize that I was becoming more of a man than most of my peers and realized I had more to offer the world and my family. My resolve for this is to be a father.

ubersiren's avatar

I take it back. I don’t want another baby. This morning sickness is killing me. Please, someone help! Don’t do it! Fetuses are evil!

Darwin's avatar

My babies are 14 and 17, and I’m still not ready! Although the morning sickness stopped a long time ago, now I have the midnight worries instead. :-)

cak's avatar

I have 2 children and had problems getting pregnant and staying pregnant. It took a lot of work to get these two into the world!

My first husband and I started discussing children and we decided to try. I had several miscarriage and decided not to try again. Right about that time, I found out I was pregnant again. I went from being ready to scared to death. I think I moved backwards.

With two children 15 and 6, I’m still getting ready! :)

tadpole's avatar

@Darwin hmmm babies at 14 and 17…i bet they love that :-)

Darwin's avatar

@tadpole – They know they will always be my babies, just as I am still my mother’s baby (and she is 83 and so is old enough to know better).

wundayatta's avatar

I was never particularly enamored of babies, but I really, really wanted to have children. You can’t have children without having babies first. As it happened, I couldn’t have biological children, at least, not without technical assistance that didn’t exist two decades ago. Anyway, I always knew I wanted children, and the realization that I was ready came at the time that I found a woman who was willing to bring them up with me. I would have had them without marriage, but I didn’t mind marriage, either.

We got married, started trying, didn’t get anything, and went on our adventure with medical technology that eventually ended with us getting two wonderful children who were biologically related to both of us. It’s not the most terrible thing in the world: being parents when most people our age are already grandparents.

mattbrowne's avatar

Financial security.

Darwin's avatar

“It’s not the most terrible thing in the world: being parents when most people our age are already grandparents.”

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

You are ready to have a baby when you find yourself searching for something to mother – or father. Case in point – Michael Jackson’s pet chimp. I remember my girlfriend in high school begging her mother for a pet monkey, and my mother said she was probably just feeling baby-hungry. If you find yourself fixing up a bedroom for your dog, or wanting to get a pet that you can feed, clean and love, then you are ready.

MrBr00ks's avatar

When she blurted out “I’m pregnant” as I came home from work.

akmcg's avatar

I am not ready…but I know I WILL be ready when I stop thinking of having kids as a prison sentence. It’s something you have to really want. Especially if you are the female, because let’s be honest folks – it’s the woman who have their life changed the most, no?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@akmcg no, not always. depends on your partner.

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