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Tink's avatar

How would you turn a bad day into a good day?

Asked by Tink (8668points) July 12th, 2009 from iPhone

I’m sad, don’t wanna live with my mom anymore, one of those bad days as usual for me

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51 Answers

jamielynn2328's avatar

I had a really bad day today too. This may sound really corny, but sometimes I just think about how bad other people have it, I think about the conditions that people persevere through, and it makes me feel better. I remind myself that I have a roof over my head, fresh water to drink and that I am alive, and not dying of a terminal illness. So many people suffer just to survive every day.

More often I just go to bed early to get the day over with, because there is always tomorrow.

lilgiraffe's avatar

I read a few chapters from my favourite French children’s book – Le Petit Nicolas.

Tink's avatar

I can’t really sleep when I’m sad

EntitY's avatar

I think now is a good time to explore your future. I love to imagine different futures. Really, once you cut loose on doing this you can amaze yourself. No one owns the future, so you can put what ever you want there…

cyn's avatar

I listen to music

irocktheworld's avatar

Awww that sucks to hear :(
You should talk to your friends to make you feel better and you can watch a funny video or movie like i would do :)

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Your bad days would be considered very good days to many people in the world.

peyton_farquhar's avatar

I go outside into the open air and tell myself, In one year, none of the problems I am having right now will matter.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

I like to cycle around the neighbourhood. It helps. Just letting the wind rush by you, feeling that sense of solitude and camaraderie with you and your bike. You’re alone and you have no destination, but that’s okay, because anywhere you go is forward.

It really lifts you up.

As for your mom, well… Hate to say this but you’re gonna be living with her for at least 5 more years. You might as well learn to appreciate and like it.

Facade's avatar

I pop a pill, sleep, and wait til tomorrow.

Also, taking a shower while singing along with my favorite radio station helps a lot :)

Tink's avatar

Not allowed to take or have pills anymore…

Facade's avatar

sing and dance in the shower to loud music then!
And maybe try a movie or tv show that always makes you laugh

ryanpowell's avatar

I’m sorry to hear this. But it will be over soon. In four years you will be on your own. That sounds like a long time but it isn’t. Trust me.

Just suck it up and plan for what happens after high school.

ryanpowell's avatar

@Tink1113 :: It isn’t a long time. I grew up in a house where my dad hit us when he was drunk. That was everynight.

I’m not sure what you are dealing with but I’m pretty sure it isn’t that bad.

edit :: That sounded bad.. My intent was that your gripe is probably something like, “My dad won’t let me go on a date.” That is there call.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

What’s so bad about your mom Tink? I think that that’s the core issue here. Solve that and your number of bad days will drastically drop.

Tink's avatar

No I don’t get hit, ever. I was slapped one time but I might have deserved it; mothers don’t like being called overprotective bitches that don’t do anything but nag all fucken day
@ryanpowell -Nah, thats not the problem, I actually have a good father-daughter relationship with my dad, my mother on the other hand not so much

Jeruba's avatar

It’s pretty rare for a day to be bad. A bad thing can happen, or even several, and those are bad things, all right, but even then it doesn’t mean everything that happens is bad.

At different times under different conditions I have held onto different ways of coping. Sometimes I’ve had a kind of mantra to remind me that it’s my expectations that keep leading to disappointments and that I can’t control the outcomes but I can control the expectations. Sometimes I have been able to find some good things in a bad day and focus on those. Sometimes I have made myself just concentrate on breathing and let everything else fall away.

I don’t have to live like that any more, in a daily war with bad things that threatened to swamp me, but there was a time.

You are strong and smart. You’ll come through.

The issue is overprotection? How does that look next to don’t-give-a-damn?

Tink's avatar

@Jeruba It looks like I shouldn’t care cause she’s gonna keep doing it till I actually move out…

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Turn a bad day into a good day?

That’s exactly what alcohol is for!

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@Tink1113 Okay… How do I put this without sounding horribly patronising…?

* takes a deep breath *

Okay Tink. You’re 14 years old. You think your mother is over-protective. If you asked me I think that this is what many kids your age feel. Heck, I felt that way. But really, she’s doing it only because she cares for you. You have to realise that. Maybe it’s also because you’re a girl (I know that girls’ parents tend to get more protective of their children than boys’ parents).

This may sound hard to believe or swallow. But you should actually appreciate that she cares enough for you to want to protect you. If you really feel that it’s that bad, then sit down and talk to her in a mature way. Don’t throw a tantrum over it or wish that you could move out. That’s no way to convince your mom that you’re mature enough for her to start taking down the protective wall she’s put around you.

Because trust me, if you really move out now, or if your mom really stops caring for you in the way she does, I’m very sure that you’re seriously gonna regret it.

Tink's avatar

I know I might sound like every other 14 year old who thinks that, but I have talked to her calmly and stuff but she still doesn’t get it, I can’t do anything sometimes I’m not even allowed to go out with friends.
And she tells me that friends aren’t worth anything that thats why I have a mom for. She says only she can be my best friend or friend because I shouldn’t feel the need to trust someone else. Well she can’t be my best friend she is just my mom! There are several things you might need the opinion of someone else not only your mother. People need friends and she doesn’t get it.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@Tink1113 Hmm.. The situation is more complex than I thought it was. What about your dad?

Tink's avatar

What about him?
He can be sometimes too, he just doesn’t let me have guy friends, but I do and I’ve had boyfriends before that they don’t know about. But that is something I won’t tell them yet.
He doesn’t say anything about my mom he just says that it is mine and her problem and he stays out of it.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@Tink1113 Whoa…. Okay… Who else besides your parents (and us here on Fluther) know about this?

Tink's avatar

About what exactly??

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@Tink1113 Your mom saying the things she says and your dad distancing himself away the way he does.

Are you sure that this all happens exactly as you describe it?

Tink's avatar

Yes, he tries to get close to me more but doesn’t succeed.
And I think he has talked to my mom about it but she’s just so stubborn, one time he told me to let her have it her way but of course I didn’t

Facade's avatar

Maybe you get get involved with the extracurriculars at your school. That way you can see your friends and spend less time at home.

Tink's avatar

I’m in summer break right now, I might join the softball team next year though, good idea
lurve for Facade!!

Facade's avatar

Join as many teams as you can. And clubs! I understand how it is with overprotective parents. try not to hold contempt. they’re doing the best they can

Tink's avatar

Yeah I’ll try!!
Thanks

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@Tink1113 So… Nobody else besides us here knows about this? If so, one possible suggestion is to talk to a relative.

Tink's avatar

No one else, they would all agree with my mom. And I feel like I have alot of emotions canned up…

Saturated_Brain's avatar

Are you serious? Every single one of your relatives would agree that you don’t need friends and that your only friend should be your mom?

irocktheworld's avatar

Wait, im confused, why did you call your mother a protective bitch?
Yeah! Facade is absolutely right! You should deffinitely spend more time with friends and get in clubs so you can be at home less

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@Tink1113 I find that very hard to believe. If that’s true, then your family is very…. unbelievable… Have you ever tried talking to anyone?

And yeah. going out an participating in activities will help. It gives you a ‘legitimate reason’ to have friends.

(as if anyone needed legitimate reasons to have friends….)

Tink's avatar

No haven’t tried it, but I think the reason she is like that with me is because she’s afraid I’ll turn out to be like my cousin. She is wild, and still throws tantrums while being 16. My mom knows I would never be like her but she still does it

Saturated_Brain's avatar

You should try it then. Just ask innocent questions enough to your relatives. Ask them whether they think you need friends. And just see how the discussion evolves from there.

Tink's avatar

I’ll try it, thanks :)

mattbrowne's avatar

Change the neurotransmitters and hormones floating in your brain. Plenty of stuff you can do. For example a deed that puts a smile on somebody’s face. Works miracles.

Tink's avatar

Volunteering at the animal shelter was a good idea then

Jeruba's avatar

@Tink1113, do you have cousins? And do the cousins have friends? If so, well, their parents are your parents’ siblings and in-laws and peers in the family. You might try talking to your cousins. In fact, for starters, you might even try hanging out with your cousins if they live anywhere near you.

Tink's avatar

@Jeruba Yeah I have cousins but they don’t live near me they live like an hour away

Jeruba's avatar

That’s not too far for a phone call.

If any is close to your age, how about if you went and spent a few days with them before the summer ends?

Tink's avatar

I guess it’s not :)

I used to before but now they come over here to get away from their parents too

Jeruba's avatar

Worst case, Tink, if they are in the same boat as you, you could commiserate and get some ideas on how to cope.

I wonder…I wonder how it was for your mother when she was your age. What do you suppose would happen if you just asked kind of conversationally, maybe like sometime when you’re working together side by side (do you help her with dinner?), “Mom, what was it like for you when you were my age?” And then just listen. Don’t try to make any points or get into something—just listen.

Tink's avatar

Yup, they are too

Yeah I help her sometimes, all I know is that she wasn’t a people person either. She has friends but never really goes out with them, they just come over for like parties

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