How can I make my gf most comfortable when I take her virginity?

Lube everywhere.

Well, definitely don’t “take” her virginity. If she’s not ready and comfortable, maybe it’s not time yet. But if this is just mild uncertainty, just make it fun and keep the pressure low. Nothing cheesy…. no Marvin Gaye or rose petals (sorry @Sarcasm).

no ones really helping, or going anywhere near where I wanted this to go

@Sarcasm, @AstroChuck, @Saturated_Brain, @eponymoushipster, I love you.

No really. Do all of the things those people said and it’ll come out a-okay.

@BioTechWarriorr dude, if she’s not ready, she’s not ready.

@BioTechWarriorr Alright, how about..
Make sure to use foreplay. You have to heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.
Be soft at the beginning. These are uncharted territories. You don’t want to disturb any wildlife.
Oh yeah, and put rose petals everywhere. Chicks dig that shit, dude.

@eponymoushipster Doubly love now, oh my god, I’m rolling on the floor. Almost literally.

Dude… There really isn’t any way to screw this up. Just don’t get forceful and yeah rose petals sound nice.

You’re going to Take Her Virginity? What, you have Droit de Seigneur?

Go slowly. Use lots of lube. Communicate. Try not to be nervous.

@eponymoushipster Hells yeah! He could even mix it into the foreplay section of my guide. Like in that movie 40 days and 40 nights.

@Facade That’s no fun, none of us had Fluther to ask questions to before taking someone else’s virginity, these are supposed to be FUNNY answers to fuel the hilarious fire!

I was trying to squelch the ever-growing stupidity going on

One way to make her more comfortable is for her to never know that you came to flutherites on the internet to get advice on this.

@atrpops “screw this up”? I get it! Good one!

Isn’t the internet a wonderful thing, and even better, Fluther! What ever did people do in years gone by???

lurve to @MagsRags – I was thinking the same thing.

you people are no help, she wants to lose it to me. I don’t know what else to say, except maувe yahoo answers will help more then fluther . nice representing the site ;]

I am so ashamed.

@pdworkin Me too, but the laughs were so worth it. So entirely worth it.

thanks to @Facade and @Sarcasm for their one good post each

Dudeee.. You want to take your girlfriend’s virginity. The both of you want it, just follow common sense. Communicate with each other while you’re both doing it, do it slowly, and if either of you feel pain, lubricate and start over again. You wanna make sure you both enjoy it.

Fine, @BioTechWarriorr, you’ve ruined my fun so here goes.

Be gentle. If she’s a typical woman (i.e., not kinky) then a gentle approach is the way to go. Kiss her, be tender with her, give her an orgasm. Or two. Or three. Just to loosen her up. Use lube, and go slow until she tells you to go faster. That’s it. That’s the secret.

By the way, are you both virgins?

@Saturated_Вrain – yes

@samanthabarnum “give her an orgasm”

…

@Tink1113 TINK! What’re you doing in here?! Get out!

[mod says] Enough with the absurd answers. Some of you feel like this is some sort of comedy session, which it is not. All further off topic, insulting answers will be removed, as have all previous ones.

Time to get serious, guys. This thread has already been mod-jacked.
@BioTechWarriorr before you make your move, make sure you ask her if she wants to have sex first.

And use a damn condom.

Damn! I missed all the good answers!!
Well…communicate with her while doing it, don’t stay silent.

@Grisaille Is giving someone an orgasm a bad piece of advice in that scenario? I think not.

she says she wants it before summer ends, I’m hesitating so I can get protection first

@Tink1113 no they were bad, naughty answers. tsk for thinking otherwise.

What’s to hesitate about with regards to protection? you need it, and it’s at every supermarket and pharmacy.

just hop to it.

@BioTechWarriorr Then go slowly. I definitely think that you both should go slowly. I’d also recommend that you both make sure that you have a space of a few hours (at the very least, preferably a whole night) so that you’ll both experiment and know what you both like. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, not rushed.

Plus, make sure that you both aren’t tired.

Also, I still believe that you should have lube, I can’t see how it’ll harm the situation..

I just have to ask, how old are you both?

What do you mean, “hesitating so you can get protection first?” @eponymoushipster just asked that too, what do you mean???

My advice is pretty much the same as @Sarcasm‘s: make sure to get her turned on. Take your time and do all the things that lovers do. A woman who is stimulated will experience less pain and have a more enjoyable first time. The human body is engineered to react to physical stimuli, so the more you stimulate her, the easier the experience will be on her.

Patience and understanding is key.

Maybe you’re not ready. If it doesn’t feel right, wait.

Never have I seen Fluther reach such depths. How can we live with ourselves?

if you saw my earlier question, then you know, but otherwise I’m 15 and so is she. I’m also hell of consious about my dick size

and don’t know how to work this whisper stuff at all sadface

All the women who give the gentle loving answers like Jeruba and Augustinian must be away.
But here are some statistics to consider

Of every 100 women who use contraceptive foam, cream, jelly, film, or suppositories, 29 will become pregnant (with typical use) and 15 will become pregnant with perfect use.

and

Of every 100 women whose partners use condoms, 15 will become pregnant.

I suggest you discuss the strategy of pregnancy, will she get an abortion, who will pay for it. Will she have the baby and you will support it. Will she have the baby and you will not support it. Will she have the baby and put it up for adoption.

Don’t worry so much about technique, spend more time on the possible consequences and maybe you will decide 15 is pretty damned young for such life and death decisions.

Go slow. Make sure she’s comfortable every part of the way. Foreplay’s always a good idea. Kiss her alot during the whole thing to keep her re-assured. Lube. Do it at the right time.

At the end of it, make sure she understands that you care about her and that it wasn’t just to get into her pants. Really this is important cause sometimes girls will get a sense of feeling used otherwise

@BioTechWarriorr I agree with @rooeytoo.. I do have my reservations about a 15-year old having sex, irrelevant of dick size…

Whoa there, hold on. Hold on. You’re fifteen? Sex can wait, buddy. Trust me. There’s no reason to rush. You’ll be glad you waited.

Christ, kids these days.

[mod says] Lets get back to answering the question in an appropriate way. Please.

It is all about the setting, nice candles, comfortable bed,great music-hit all the senses Get her excited, and remember teasing is not a bad thing. And play a gentle song. Liking killing me softly wouldn’t do it.

Now, to the actual question. If you two are really ready, and have done your homework about pregnancy and STD protection, just take it slow and easy. Be gentle. Use foreplay and lube. Go S-L-O-W.

then I shouldn’t have told you my age, that doesn’t change anуthing it’ll still happen one way or another sooner or later. I’m not asking you for your opinions of sexual activity of youth. if I had told you I was 19 you would have believed me, but instead I’m honest and trying my best not to hurt the girl I’m falling so hard for. don’t try telling me I don’t know what love is cuz I’m so young also. cuz I know this is the best I’ce ever had and with probably get in the next couple years. I’m just asking for your advice in making this as enjoyable as I can for both of us.
sorry about the rant

thank you so much to all people who answered honestly and seriously, you’re helping so much you really are

No one is saying that you don’t know what love is, but sex =/= love.

Lube. Foreplay. Make sure she feels comfortable with whatever noises or whatever that comes out of her. Remember there is no “right way” to have sex. First times can be really, really weird, and if you both leave it feeling ok about each other and the experience, you can consider it a success.

And make sure she’s ok every single step of the way. If she says stop or anything that can possibly be taken as “stop”, stop.

And don’t tell your buddies you had sex with her.

You’ll have to forgive me for sounding like someone’s mother, but I’ve delivered too many babies for 15 and 16 year old moms not to speak up. It’s excellent that you’re concerned about not hurting your GF, but sex is serious business, and there’s more to think about if you don’t want to hurt each other. There’s no way you should be moving forward unless you have effective contraception and STD protection. Condoms are only 90–95% effective with perfect use, and you have to use them every single time. It would be better if she went to Planned Parenthood and started on the pill or the shot. You should use condoms too, every time. Sometimes girls think having a baby sounds appealing, so use the backup.

And what about her parents? I’ve seen teenage boys arrested by angry parents for statutory rape, even though they were no older than the girl.

Like I said, a lot to think about, and it’s an important decision. No need to hurry.

Oh. Shot down. And my post was so young, just an infant really. It just hurts so much.
<<weeping uncontrollably>>

Lube this, lube that, I should invest in the stuff.

@MagsRags – That is such a good answer. Too often way too much thought is given to the when and how and not nearly enough to the what if!!!

Girls especially need to spend more time thinking about this.

Im sure she is very comfortable with you asking random strangers what to do to her when you are lovemaking with her.

Good for you.

It’s not clear to me what kind of subconscious attitude is expressed by using the word “take” in regard to something that you will not afterward possess. Have you asked the woman in question what would make her most comfortable? She would probably know better than we would, if she is capable of informed consent.

seriously, you don’t ‘take’ anyone’s virginity – maybe that’s the first thing you gotta get over…don’t make this occasion bigger than yourself and your partner…it’s sex, maybe the firs time, yes, but still it’s not the end all and be all…laugh plenty

I think you folks are really reading way too far into his verb usage.

ok one mis-use of a word and everyones against me. I’m done with flutjer, you guys are no help. unless you will give me help on this question, then don’t answer with your opinions about how ready I am. i’m ready, you can’t change that, so why not help out?

Sigh.

Go slowly, explore each other, ask her questions about how things are feeling. Tell her how you are feeling.

Physically, it’s quicker with the guy on top – However, it’s nicer if you have her on top, then she can control the start of it.

I recommend (when you get to this point), have her start on top. You can switch positions if it doesn’t work. The first few times are usually pretty awkward, but have patience and you both will get into the rhythm of things so to speak. Oh, and yes – use a condom and have artificial lubrication nearby.

Plenty of people gave plenty of legitimate replies BioTech about how to treat her. I’m sorry that you didn’t read them.

@BioTechWarriorr I found (now that i’m a bit experienced in sex) that humour/laughing can be a good relaxant (is that a word?).
Just realise that sex has it’s funny and sometimes awkward moments, and laught about it (together).

I am not really comfortable giving this advice to someone so young, but I don’t want her to hurt if it’s going to happen anyway. Go slow and be gentle, especially during the first moments. Ask her occasionally (not so much that it is distracting or annoying) if she is ok. Reassure her before you start that she can ask you to stop at any moment and you will do so immediately.

I really do think you should wait. You can never go back, you know. You have your entire life to have sex. Enjoy the innocence. Enjoy the goosebumps and flutters of kissing and making out – those are never the same after you have sex and you will miss them.

@Amurph great answer!

@BioTechWarriorr Ignore those that didn’t help. I missed the removed comments so I have no idea what happened. I can’t give you advice because my youngest son is 15 and this feels really awkward for me. Listen to those that did help and please give Fluther a chance. Fluther can be very helpful!

If you’re going to penetrate by the end of the summer, then you should be practicing a lot now. Use your fingers and lips to pleasure each other. Talk to each other about what feels good, and what isn’t working. Practice. Get better at pleasuring each other. You only have a few weeks, so you could have fun practicing, if you can get together enough.

Then when she’s decided she’s ready, you can do it. Go very slowly when you try to enter her. Maybe use your fingers first. Let her control the pace. In fact, you might want her to be on top so she can control how it happens. Make sure you have aroused each other muchly before hand, and that she is very wet. You can use lube, but that can hide if she isn’t really ready.

You may both be anxious, but if you’ve been practicing first, that should take the edge off your anxiety, and make it easier. If you are two anxious, she may not be able to get wet, and you may have trouble maintaining an erection.

Also, make sure she wants to do this because she wants you, and not because she just thinks it’s time to get rid of her virginity, and you’re the one she’s chosen to do it. If that’s what’s going on, then don’t do it. Don’t do it just to lose your own virginity. This should be a mutual thing based on expressing your feelings for each other. Don’t let the sense of pressure get to you. Be able to stop and just do other things, and wait for another time to get to intercourse.

This is a mutual thing. It’s not something that either of you is in charge of. Listen to her. Talk. Figure out what you like and try various versions of it first. Don’t buy into the idea that a man knows everything and should be in charge of everything. She knows herself better than you do, so listen to her.

And practice, my friend. Practice.

@Sarcasm ”Be soft at the beginning.”

Dude, I don’t know what planet you’re living on, but you kinda need to be hard for this to work!!!

Here is a serious answer from a female point of view. Remind her that 15 out of every 100 girls who have sex with boys who use condoms as birth control get pregnant. And that 29 out of 100 girls who have sex with boys who use some sort of foam or spermicide get pregnant.

From a male perspective, those odds may not look to bad, but if you just happen to be one of those 15 or 29 girls, it is definitely not cool.

It pretty much determines the entire course of life for a 15 year old girl.

If you really want to act like an adult, point this out to her and yourself and wait until you are both ready to deal with the possible consequences.

Mutual masturbation is a much better choice for people of any age who are not ready to deal with or simply don’t want to have to deal with those consequences.

Non-intercourse mixed-gender sex is unfortunately not safe from STDs, even if safe from pregnancy—precautions still need to be taken.

I realize you’ll be using condoms but future reference:

You should excuse yourself to urinate before having sex with her. A uterus is like a rainforest. It needs a retardedly delicate balance to stay healthy. Just introducing sperm can be enough to give her an infection. If you urinate before sex you reduce your chances of throwing off her chemistry.

As far as this time goes, try to have fun, don’t rush. Give her an opportunity to back out before the actual deed and if she at any point wants to stop listen to her. Try to alleviate the tension of the first time. Make sure she knows, that although you care about her and are honored that she wants to be with you, nothing bad will happen if she wants to put it off a little. Take the pressure off and she’ll be more likely to enjoy herself.

Offer a satisfaction-garuntee-or-double-your-virginity-back policy.