Can our relationship be saved?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Although back in the Winter, we split up for 5 months. We got back together in the Spring and things were great at first. Now last night he texts me and says he wishes things were like when we got back together. He said something doesn’t feel right in the relationship. I agree that something doesn’t feel right. I told him I have been the same as always and that he is the one pulling away from me by spending a lot of time with his friends and only seeing me once a week. I told him we need to start communicating better and try to make more time for each other. He said I never want to go out and do things with him, but that’s the farthest thing from true. There are a lot of things we could go out and do together that I would love to. I said that whenever I try to make plans with him he’s always with his friends. We’ve been through so much to give up now. I told him this is something that can probably be fixed if we just try, but he still seems unsure. I really want to make this work. I don’t think I could deal with losing him a second time.
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8 Answers
It doesn’t seem, to me, like he really wants to make it work. I’m sorry you’re going through this but both of you have to be on the ball in terms of compromising.
As cliche as this sounds, communication really is the key. Keep talking to him. Surprise him with ideas for the two of you to do together. You should never stay in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy…but, no relationship is perfect. You have to decide if it’s worth fighting for and how much effort you are willing to put into it.
Can you go with him and his friends, or does he want to keep you separate from his friends?
If one person isn’t going to put in the effort to improve the relationship, it doesn’t matter how badly the other person wants it. Both people need to face up to their faults in the relationship and work together. If one person doesn’t want to put in the effort, you’re wasting your time. You need to find out if he’s willing to work with you to make it better.
Be prepared to face another break-up. He may be using this as an excuse.
Try to talk to him in person. Tell him that relationships don’t just feel right. Both people have to be involved emotionally and intellectually.
Say if it is true he wants you to go out with him, when can you do that? You make one or more suggestions and let him pick.
You don’t say how old either of you are. It may just be that you have grown apart and want different things.
Figure out if he can be the guy you want. If he can, great, but if he can’t, then don’t keep giving up slices of yourself to maintain a relationship at any cost.
Sometimes it helps to put your concerns in writing. Both of you need to make up a list with all the things that are good about your relationship on one side, and all the things that need work on the other side. Then exchange lists, and discuss the things you find.
It seems his priorities are out of order.
i don’t see this working out, i just got out of a relationship like that with my boyfriend. Trust me u will be happier without him, u deserve someone who treats u better than that :) good luck!
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