General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Do guys watch movies together in the movie theater?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3158points) November 11th, 2009

It was brought up in a conversation yesterday that I had with my friend, where she asked me if guys go to the movies together. And then that got me thinking. I then remembered when a guy friend of mine said he never watched movies with just another guy friend.

Is this only partly true? Does it depend on the guy? I thought that was kind of weird…

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79 Answers

SeventhSense's avatar

Sure but you must respect the one seat separation.
It’s the law of the jungle

grumpyfish's avatar

Yes, also with the separation. Unless you’re on a date.

Also see urinal protocol: http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Wow okay, I have to say I’ve rarely seen two guys in the movie seats, usually three or more or even a single guy; I see lots of single men in the movie theaters.

SpatzieLover's avatar

My husband goes to the movies with his brothers and his friends. Why Not? I certainly don’t feel like going to the latest Sci-Fi or Bond flick w/him and he knows it. He calls a friend or bro instead.

limeaide's avatar

@SeventhSense I was coming to say that exact thing. :)

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@SeventhSense, wow.. haha, I never knew they did that.. one seat separation…. lol…

@grumpyfish, O_O, well, that was pretty interesting (urinals), something that I have randomly thought about before though…. (don’t ask me why)

@hungryhungryhortence, yeah, I’ve seen a lot of guys by themselves at the theater too, I would never watch a movie at the theater alone. This topic is interesting.:P

forestGeek's avatar

I haven’t in a while, but definitely would without any thought. And I’m secure enough that I don’t need the “one seat separation” thing.

Sarcasm's avatar

Yes. But you always go with at LEAST 2 people (besides yourself).
Going alone is fine. But 2 guys together is questionable. You don’t want the theater thinking you’re gay.
And don’t you dare think about sharing popcorn. That’s just a whole extra creep factor.

Whenever we go see movies (hasn’t happened in quite a while. Not since Dark Knight I think) it’s been 5+ of us.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@Sarcasm, oh.. well that makes sense. I’ve just never thought about it. I guess that’s what my first impression would be if i saw two guys together…. AND sharing popcorn. lol.

If I don’t find someone to go to the movies with, I most likely wouldn’t go at all.

SeventhSense's avatar

@Sarcasm
Well that might be bordering on homophobic.

forestGeek's avatar

Really? Do people assume that 2 guys together at movies, or even out to dinner together are gay?? Lame!! Wow, I guess I need to get out of the big city…or maybe not!

grumpyfish's avatar

@forestGeek Yeah. Apparently two guys doing anything other than watching football or fighting are gay =)

Honestly, I don’t know why someone would be worried if someone else (particularly) they didn’t know thought they were gay. Don’t girls did gay guys?

SpatzieLover's avatar

No one is going to look at my husband and think, “Ohhhhh there’s a gay guy at the movies.” So him going with only one other guy is not a concern of his.

erichw1504's avatar

@SeventhSense There should also be at least three of you, just two guys could be a little weird.

ragingloli's avatar

one seat separation? never did that. as if teh gay was an airborne contagion

SeventhSense's avatar

@grumpyfish
Sometimes I question even the Fighting

forestGeek's avatar

@grumpyfish – Sounds that way! That kind of insecurity is just plain sad!

SpatzieLover's avatar

Instead of insecurity I’d label it like I read it: homophobes

SeventhSense's avatar

@erichw1504
Oh please the whole thing is a joke unless you’re in grade school.
I could care less what people think of me unless of course I’m trying to pick up the refreshment girl.

Likeradar's avatar

Wow, it just occurred to me how hard it must be to be a dude sometimes. “I want to see that movie. So does Steve. ..But if we do we have to worry about homophobia.” Sad, sad, sad.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

Strange. I’ve seen plenty of pairs of guys at movie theaters and I’ve never thought twice about it. While it never crosses my mind at the time, I suppose they might be in a relationship (let us not limit them to being strictly gay!,) just friends, family members (i.e. father and son, brothers, etc.) or maybe one is the victim of a personal-space invading stranger, it’s all the same. They’re just there to see a movie like the rest of us.

Beyond you know, general people watching and curiosity regarding their life stories, I can’t understand why sexuality is such a curiosity? It’s so commonplace in my mind as to be uninteresting. You know?

I have more than a handful of male friends (including my husband) who attend movies with just one other guy. With all the separation rules and worries of perceived homosexuality, I guess it just illustrates the the confidence and security of the folks I know.

Do those of you that have these thoughts wonder whether or not two girls are in a relationship as well?

tangentially, out of curiosity, does anyone hesitate to use the the term girlfriend to describe a platonic friendship between two girls?

casheroo's avatar

My husband goes with my father..just them. And I know he used to see movies with guy friends quite often. I never thought anything of it.
I’ve even worked in movie theaters, and never thought two men automatically equaled homosexual. I actually saw lots of what appeared to be just male friends together. It doesn’t seem weird to me.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Beta_Orionis well said…and I call all friends “girlfriends”

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

As long as you follow the “one seat between” rule. If I’m in a nearly empty theater and the dude sits right next to me it’s a little creepy.

Sarcasm's avatar

@Beta_Orionis Do those of you that have these thoughts wonder whether or not two girls are in a relationship as well?
As a young heterosexual male, let me be the first to say: We always hope they are.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@Sarcasm as a young heterosexual female, while It never occurs to me at the time, I hope too

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I really don’t care who’s gay or who is straight.. as long as they turn off their damn cell phone and be quiet. xD

SpatzieLover's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater I hear you on that. Now to get them to stop talking and chewing so loudly!

airowDee's avatar

Why should straight guys be so insecure about their own identity? I don’t understand, everyone needs to get over their own internalized homophobia. It’s just ignorant and outdated.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I’ve found that I am cursed when I go to a movie theater. One of several things will happen:
1. I’ll get behind the guy with the giant hair and/or enormous freakin melon
2. I’ll get the theater mostly to myself until right when the movie starts.. at which point a group of cackling, texting, beeping, giggling, annoying teenagers comes waltzing in at the last minute.
3. I’ll have the person sitting next to me that does the quiet “no.. no i’m in the theater” talk on their stupid phone
4. I’ll have the arm rest stealers on both sides of me so that I’m crunched in the middle with nowhere to put my drink
5. I’ll get the spot next to the person with the bladder problem that has to go pee every 10 minutes
6. I’ll sit next to “the talker”.. who either wants to talk to me.. or the characters in the movie. (in either case, no one is answering them back and they are oblivious to that fact)
7. I’ll sit next to the loud laugher.. who laughs ridiculously loud at every tiny thing in the movie.
8. I’ll sit next to the person who smells of old cabbage or aged and fermented sewage.
9. I’ll sit next to the charming family of 17 with kids running all over the place. (I have kids too and I understand how hard it is to handle kids in a theater.. which is why I discovered this new thing people are doing these days called a babysitter!)
10. None of these things will happen but then the sound or the picture will be screwed up by the theater.

If you ever chance upon these things happening in the theater.. think of me.. I’m probably in the row right in front of you.

@airowDee I go to movies with my buddy’s.. but there’s a certain .. code.. that men follow. I guess you wouldn’t understand. It has nothing to do with homophobia.. and frankly I’m a little worried that the code is breaking down these days… a scary thought.

airowDee's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater

What are you worried about that will happen if guys are not afraid to sit together or pee next to each other or hug each other ?

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@airowDee I don’t want to hijack this thread with this discussion. Perhaps we’ll talk about it somewhere else.

AstroChuck's avatar

I’ve gone to the movies quite a few times with my best friend and he’s a dude. Also, the one seat seperation rule is for homophobes.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Actually, I don’t really notice people in theaters too much, or remember them. So I don’t know if I’ve ever seen two guys together or not at the theaters, so I also have to admit I don’t know what my opinion would be if I saw them.

@Beta_Orionis, I actually hesitate to use the term “girlfriend” when referring to my friends who are females. It’s just always been that way… I call them my friend, BFF, best friend, buddy, best bud, pal, but never ‘girlfriend’. It just sounds weird to me. haha..

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@AstroChuck Really? You think so? Gahd.. what happened to the days when men were men? This place is turning into a circus for the metrosexually persuaded.

Jack79's avatar

I have often watched movies with male friends. Most commonly, I had a female friend (just friend) who was my regular movie-going partner, but over the years I also had guys I used to hang out with that would arrange to see movies together.

There was one particular best friend I eventually stopped taking to the cinema with me because he used to like to sit in the front and I in the back, and there’s another that we still catch movies with, except nowadays his wife joins us. It was quite a regular activity (we’d go out at least once a week), combined with food together. Not only is he my best friend, but he’s also a Hollywood connoisseur, which makes him a great film-buddy. He knows all the details about who did what and can tell you what other movie that extra used to play in, and who did the lights, and whether the guy who brought the assistant director coffee on the third day of shooting was wearing a red shirt.

dalepetrie's avatar

Umm, OK.

The very premise of the question flummoxes me.

When I see two guys together in public, I don’t assume they’re gay, unless my gaydar goes off.

When I hang out with a male friend, regardless of where we hang out, I don’t suspect people are pegging us for gay.

I’ve gone to concerts and movies and bars and restaurants with male friends in my lifetime, I don’t USUALLY, because USUALLY my wife accompanies me to these events, but if I’m hanging out with a buddy and we want to go to a show of some kind together, we do.

Is this mindset ONLY with movies and meals? What about concerts? I have a friend who I went to a concert with and sat next to on Saturday night. Next to him were two guys he happened too know, they came together and I’m pretty sure they weren’t gay, never occurred to me to think about it.

As for the one seat rule, never heard of this as a “rule”. I’m sure I have sat with a separating seat before, simply because it gave me more elbow room, never thought to consider that someone might think we’re gay.

And almost every movie I’ve ever seen I see groups of 2 or more buddies attending, wouldn’t occur to me to question their sexuality.

I’m wondering if a few of you might not need to grow the fuck up.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@dalepetrie I’m flummoxed myself.. flummoxed that the “one seat rule” seems to be such a foreign term around here. XD

Are some of you “that guy”? The one that will take the urinal right next to you in an otherwise empty restroom? Is the guy code gone forever? Am I alone on this? XD I wouldn’t be surprised nowadays.

robmandu's avatar

Might be that I’m just “that guy” that wants to sit next to you so I can steal your popcorn.

Or I’m just “that guy” that likes to show you how comfortable I am with my straightness that I need not worry about what I look like to others.

Or perhaps I’m “that guy” that likes to talk to you during the movie without having to raise my voice across the empty seat.

Or I’m “that guy” that would rather sit right next to someone he knows versus the stranger he doesn’t.

Or I might be scared and want you to hold me.

Point is, I sit where I want. You can sit next to me or not. I don’t care. I just want to see a good movie is all.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@robmandu As a man.. I really don’t care how comfortable you are with your straightness. Nor do I want you talking to me during the movie and ruining it.

It’s an understood clause in “the code” that if there simply is no option.. the seat next to the other person is authorized.

You’ll have to find someone .. a little gayer or a little more female if you want to be held during the movie. XD

Point is, we probably wouldn’t get along in real life.. you’ve abandoned the guy code. I can deal with that.. xD

Jack79's avatar

Never had a “one seat rule” with any of the people I’ve been to movies with (male, female, dates, groups). I think the whole point of going together is sitting next to each other so you can whisper various comments about the movie. I try not to overdo it, but I’ll make at least one comment every 10mins or so, or my movie partner might have missed something and ask me.

forestGeek's avatar

I’m glad I missed out on the “guy code” thing, it sounds limiting.

mcbealer's avatar

wow… this is such an awesome thread….

Sadly, where I live, yes, the guy code does exist at the movies.
I was completely in the dark about this until I overheard a few neanderthal guys I know talking about it at work. ‘nuff said

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

This is unbelievable. I’m a neanderthal for following the guy code? Really? Aren’t there any men on fluther? (I’m betting there are.. they just don’t have the cajones to answer up… )

mcbealer's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater ~ so do you follow a guy code when you’re camping, say sitting around the campfire ;) all I’m saying is that it is a bit primitive to need an empty seat between you and your male friend/relative/whatever because of some perceived social code.

Why does it have to be so complicated? Also, I would think the cajones in this cinematic scenario are had by those who buck the code and aren’t worried WTF other people think.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@mcbealer If there was a large campfire .. logs all around… one man sitting.. would I go and sit right next to him? Umm… no! So if that means I follow the code whilst camping than.. yes… I do.

It isn’t complicated. It may be a little confusing to a female or a metrosexual.. but .. well I guess I’m glad I’m in the military.. where the guy code is (for the most part) still an understood facet of being a man.

It’s clear that I’m alone on this.. as usual.. I’m ok with that. I’ll see all you liberals in another thread!! XD

forestGeek's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater – What if that one guy sitting on the log by the fire was your good buddy? Wouldn’t you want to sit next to him and talk?

mcbealer's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater ~ so wait, you mention the military… please say it isn’t so!! where is @Bluefreedom in all this?!? do you have empties between you and the next dude over in the tanks? on the planes? on the subs (you know, where it’s dark)?

SpatzieLover's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater My dad was in the military. He sat next to other guys all the time. That’s just ridiculous. It sounds as though you have a complex.

casheroo's avatar

Wait, I’m confused. Guys pay to go to the movies together as friends, but then sit a seat away from each other?? I’ve never heard of this!

DominicX's avatar

Yes, of course. And there’s no separation. I like sitting next to my friends. Jesus Christ, just how homophobic is society these days?

I have to admit, though, one time a friend asked me to go see “Wanted” with him and it was just me and him and later he referred to it as the time he went on a “movie date” with me. lol

limeaide's avatar

I’ve never considered the one seat rule to be homophobic. I just like my personal space and it feels weird to sit that close to another guy and another girl if I don’t know her that well. If it’s homophobic I guess it’s a hidden bias because I don’t think I am. Call me what you will, I do what I feel comfortable doing. BTW – if the theater isn’t crowded my friends and I have done this when there were 5 of us. If the theater is crowded I have no problem sitting next to my guy friends, if there’s room use it.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@limeaide I use the extra seat once & awhile, but in Wis we have coats/mittens etc. To do it exclusively, or to “conclude” that because to guys are sitting together they must be gay is homophobic.

@casheroo You haven’t heard of this because your husband is normal ;)

DominicX's avatar

@SpatzieLover

It seems to me that the only people who would assume you were gay for going to see a movie with another guy are the same people who believe in “one seat of separation”. I would never assume two guys in the movie theater were gay just because they’re sitting next to each other.

Now, me going with 4 other girls to see the Hannah Montana Movie—that might make people assume I was gay (and they’d be right). :)

SpatzieLover's avatar

@DominicX My dad was far from gay (old kraut) and he never thought twice about sitting next to a guy. Never!

limeaide's avatar

@SpatzieLover I’ve never concluded that guys setting next to one another are gay. I do think a friend or two of mine would make that conclusion. I don’t think if they were pressed they’d say they were just giving the guys grief and don’t actually believe they were gay.

@SpatzieLover people have different personal boundaries close talkers and such make me uncomfortable. I need more separation from people than some, can’t we all just get along. :)

iRemy_y's avatar

Well i go to the movies with friends a lot. It doesn’t really bother me to go with only guys. that makes it ok to make retarded jokes and not be judged for it. haha. and then most of the time your watching the movie anyway…

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I would like to know where it is… anywhere that I said anything about the “one seat rule” having anything to do with your sexual preference. A lot of you are all about judging me but you’re making plenty of assumptions. I’ve been called all kinds of names (neanderthal) for things I didn’t even do. I really hope some of you aren’t this judgmental in real life.

tinyfaery's avatar

Ahh…homophobia. If you have to have a rule then maybe there is some insecurity.

And yes. I see it often, with straight guys.

dalepetrie's avatar

Doing something because of your own personal comfort/personal space issues is one thing. No, at a urinal, I DO like some room for a few reasons…1) I don’t want to get splashed with someone else’s piss, and 2) I prefer not to whip out my junk that close to anyone other than my wife or my doctor, doesn’t matter if they’re male or female. But going to a movie, if there’s room, I might leave a seat, especially if I have a coat or refreshments to set down, but if the theater is fairly busy, it’s just a courtesy to others, you sit next to the person you came with…you don’t have to hold their hand. I don’t do this because of some infantile man/dude/guy rule/law/code…in my experience, guys who live by “man laws” or whatever you want to call them are overly macho, homophobic assholes, who in my opinion are often overcompensating for a part of their own psyche they can’t bring themselves to deal with. I’m not all touchy feely with guys, but I’m not all touchy feely with women I don’t know either. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, don’t confuse the two. Saying that because 2 guys go to a movie together and sit next to each other makes them gay in your eyes is pretty much as retarded as in the 80s when people thought that if you had an earring in your RIGHT ear, it meant you were gay. Sitting close to another guy doesn’t make you gay….you want to know what makes you gay? Having sex with another dude, that’s what makes you gay. And besides asking him, there’s only one sure way for one dude to tell if another dude is gay….if his dick tastes like shit.

tinyfaery's avatar

@Dale You had me to the last sentence. :(

DominicX's avatar

@tinyfaery

Eh…I think this is about as good as we’re going to get for now…maybe in 100 years it’ll be better…

And yes @dalepetrie, I did find your last sentence offensive and fundamentally untrue know it was a joke. :P

dalepetrie's avatar

@tinyfaery and @DominicX – c’mon…I know you two have a sense of humor. Just trying to lighten things up with a little absurdism.

DominicX's avatar

@dalepetrie

Well, it’s not always easy to tell…you can’t blame me for being a little “on edge” when it comes to stuff like that…

tinyfaery's avatar

Yes. Especially when another homophobic thread is going on. But I always give @Dale the benefit of the doubt. He’s a good egg.

dalepetrie's avatar

FYI – that joke is at the expense of homophobes. First off, not all gay men have anal sex, and presumably most would wash afterwards anyway. For a person to make an assumption like that, they would probably have to be a homophobe. For me, the humor in that joke comes from someone who holds that stereotype who would laugh at that joke, but the joke would be on him because he then himself would have to partake in gay sex. It’s meant to be a mindfuck.

Drawkward's avatar

One seat rules are dumb things. Movies are best enjoyed with others, regardless of gender.

casheroo's avatar

You know, this whole “one seat rule” is starting to bug me other than the obviously homophobia reasons. Seriously, I cannot stand when people just don’t sit near each other in theaters, it makes it difficult for other groups to come in and actually sit together, and then you’ve got to be all awkward and ask them to move since obviously they are the ones making it so no one else can sit down. rant off

limeaide's avatar

@casheroo we’d never do if we knew the theater was going to be busy, if we judged wrong we’d move closer together as soon as we noticed.

Sarcasm's avatar

Seems that while I was at school, this went from the “Never be part of a pair. Always have at least a 3rd with you” to “Always leave a spare seat”. I’ll give my say on the latter part.

I prefer a spare seat. Not because I’m afraid of male cooties. Just the (bold for super emphasis because it really pisses me off) motherfucking armrests are so goddamn tiny. If I put my arm on the armrest, I WILL be touching the other person. THAT is not comfortable to me. It’s quire bothersome to be honest. And that’s in a case that the person IS willing to let me have the armrest. All too often there’s this “armrest duel” over who gets the armrest. Or you switch off every once in a while. It’s ridiculous. Make the fucking rests bigger.

ragingloli's avatar

@Sarcasm
just put your arm around the other guys neck

Haleth's avatar

I know plenty of guys who watch movies with just one guy friend. Why would it be a big deal? When two women see a movie, people don’t automatically think they’re on a date.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater where you’ve stepped on toes:

It may be a little confusing to a female or a metrosexual.. but .. well I guess I’m glad I’m in the military.. where the guy code is (for the most part) still an understood facet of being a man.

You’re indicating that any man that does not abide by the apparent “guy code” is not a ”real man” in addition to denouncing females and metrosexuals as less intelligent and incapable of understanding. These are elements of an outdated and small-minded concept of masculinity.

These opinions were also evidenced earlier in the thread through the following comments:
__”@AstroChuck Really? You think so? Gahd.. what happened to the days when men were men? This place is turning into a circus for the metrosexually persuaded.”_

__“Aren’t there any men on fluther? (I’m betting there are.. they just don’t have the cajones to answer up… )_”

More than a handful of males have voiced opinions in this thread.

.
Also, you’ve made a mistake.
“I’ve been called all kinds of names (neanderthal) for things I didn’t even do”
@mcbealer did not call you neaderthal, but the men she knows from work. True, they happen to be neanderthal (in her opinion) and they respect this “guy code” but never once did @mcbealer pronounce that all “guy code,” observers were neanderthal. You chose to group yourself with them at some point. Not sure why. Beside that misunderstanding, no one has called you by any name other than @NaturalMineralWater.

.
At this point, If you can’t see why using phrases that are inherently negative or dismissive, and being so quick to categorize people is bothering accepting jellies, no further discussion can clarify it.

Grisaille's avatar

* Sniff *

Smells like a verbal ass whoppin’ in here. You make me proud, Fluther.

SeventhSense's avatar

Well… if you’re at the Barbara Streisand movie marathon with commentary by Mario Cantone then you’re probably gay. regardless of the seating arrangement.:)

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