General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Have you always given a present to somebody when attending their birthday party?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3163points) November 25th, 2009

All the time, if I were to attend a friend’s birthday party, I’d never be without a gift. I thought it to be rude if someone were to attend a birthday party and not gift the birthday person.

This is the first time that I’ve witnessed people going to birthday parties and not gifting the birthday person. They would help them self with all the food and stuff, have fun, but not give a gift. I guess it is true, that gifts should not be expected, but shouldn’t the person have gotten the birthday person a gift since they put in effort and money for the food and games?

Am I right to feel that that is rude? Would you ever attend your friend’s birthday party gift-less?

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11 Answers

reacting_acid's avatar

It is rude! Aren’t presents the only reason you invite people to your party anyway?
They should help with organizing the party at least. Or bring the keg. Either one.

troubleinharlem's avatar

You could help with the actual party. But yes, I’ve done it if I had to because of funds. True friends would understand.

Besides, my presence is their present. xD

sarah826's avatar

The only time I can remember doing that is because the invitation to a 50th anniversary party said “no gifts”. I would think it’s rude to do that.

sebastian_von_tulu's avatar

Most of the time I’ve been gift-less is when I haven’t been able to afford to buy a present, but I’d typically take alcohol and/or food.

majorrich's avatar

t depends largely on who’s birthday it is and the age. If it is a ‘0’ birthday (40,50,60) an age appropriate giftis in order

MissAusten's avatar

I wouldn’t even think of going to a birthday party without a gift, unless the invitation specifically stated “no gifts.” Even then, it feels strange. If I’m short on funds, I’ll bake something or make something, but I think I’d make an excuse not to go before I’d show up empty-handed.

The exception would be a very close friend, where I’d feel comfortable enough to let the person know that I couldn’t afford any kind of gift and would make it up to them later.

In this case, are you certain the gift-less people didn’t do something else? Treat the birthday person to a dinner out, a movie, or some other kind of intangible present? Maybe that was the case.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@MissAusten, yes, I am quite certain that the gift-less people did not do anything special for the birthday person. The birthday person was quite disappointed at the bunch. And yes, I agree as well; I would also try to make a card, or something to show that I cared if I was low on cash at the time instead of showing up empty handed.

avvooooooo's avatar

There are a great number of things that you can find that are inexpensive that let people know you’re thinking about them. The dollar spot at Target often has a little something for a buck that even a broke person can wrap up and offer for an acknowledgment of someone’s birthday. That is, if its that kind of party.

I have been to parties where no gifts have been given (its not that uncommon in college years) where the person’s birthday is generally just an excuse to party. Most of the time (since people like my cooking for some reason) I end up bringing something, but sometimes you just bring yourself and maybe a beverage. As you get into the next couple of years, parties (or dinners) for birthdays will be more common than birthday parties.

Supacase's avatar

I would at least take a card – they’re like 50 cents at the dollar store. Even Walmart has 49 cent cards.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Depends on the person. Most all occasions I bring a gift. I also give thank you gifts. We are low-income but I can usually find a way to do this. However about two weeks ago I attended a party with no gift. It was for a 90 year old man. He has dementia. Today I was talking to him and he didn’t even remember the party. In fact I didn’t see any gifts there. The man pretty much has everything and he leads a very simple life. If gifts were given it would be for the givers benefit and not for his. We celebrated and honored him but there was absolutely no need for gifts.

ratboy's avatar

I generally bring a gift—but if the gift table is unattended, I also take one.

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