Should I tell someone I cheated with the boyfriend?

NO, NO, NO!! it is past, there’s a reason for sayings like ‘let sleeping dogs lie’.

What would you possibly hope to gain by telling?

OMFG..

You have already fucked up so bad you should never talk to anyone involved in this situation ever again.

Move on. If I was a peg in this cog I would beat you.

He’s making a big deal of the letters like someone is watching him and stalking him. I don’t want the police involved because of a affair.

NO. Trying to sabotage someone into loving you is all kinds of f**d up. Do your best to stay away from all parties involved.

Thing about it is, he is as guilty as I am. I know it’s wrong, it’s hard to let go of someone you have been with for 7 years and love with all your heart. I am ashamed of what I have done. I really do love him, I honestly had to leave the state the day he got married.

You need to get as far away from this as possible. Quit following your ex’s life. How do you know he is getting people involved? Just completely think nothing of him or his new wife anymore.

Do not tell him. There is absolutely nothing to gain from it. It seems it is a way for you to introduce yourself back into his life. In fact your question makes it seem like you still want him back in some way.

Please don’t think this horrible of me but perhaps some counseling would help you appropriately grieve the loss of this relationship and move on.

blah blah blah. Boring troll is… what’s the word?

My heart is broken because of all this. I know how it looks, and I probably do need counseling. I have lost 40lbs, and cried more tears in the last 4 months than I have in my life. I changed my number to keep him from calling me, then he just started emailing. I’m so weak when it comes to him. My ex pulls me into his life even though he knows it breaks my heart.

Okay, now that’s too much.

@lynlyn Counseling and have nothing to do with him are the two best options. Pain is always present in grief.

ps i hope you really are not a troll, i just spent too much time answering this??

Wasn’t a troll last time I checked, but haven’t checked in the last few minutes.

Do I seem like a awful person? I guess I’ve been so consumed with my grief that I forgot to take a good look at myself.

A man cheats repeatedly on his fiance with an ex-girlfriend who is so emotionally unbalanced that she stalks him anonymously, trying to break up the relationship.

That doesn’t exactly make you a Girl Scout, does it?

No, I guess it don’t. I didn’t think of what I was doing as stalking him. I was a little more than an ex-girlfriend, I’m an ex-wife. I guess ex is the key to the whole thing huh. I guess when your vision is blurred you forget what things look like to other people. Even though you seen very cruel PandoraBoxx, you are probably right. Guess that’s my shot of reality for the day.

I don’t mean to be cruel, but when you’re in the middle of psycho drama, it’s too easy to get sucked into it. You have got to get a grip on yourself. If he comes out and asks you if it’s you, tell the truth and apologize.

Counseling will help you manage the grief of the relationship ending. While his second wife deserves better than a husband who cheats on her, the reality is, he chose her. At any point up to the saying of “I Do,” he could have chosen to marry you again, and he didn’t. He went through with the wedding to her. Your relationship with him is over.

I’m sorry that sounds cruel, but that’s how the cards lay on the table. You are going to have to work your way through the grief and sorrow, and put yourself back together. If it’s any consolation, you’re not the first or last person to be in this predicament.

The odd thing is, he called me at work the week of his wedding and started crying and saying he was sorry if he ever hurt me. And as much as it hurts, you’re right, he chose to go through with the marriage. I just don’t understand why he won’t let me go. I told him that I didn’t want to talk to him again. It didn’t work he still won’t let go. I don’t understand why he continues to want contact with me.

Change your phone #, your email address, block him on other sites, do not open snail mail.

I think that you should continue to be honest with him, as honesty is a major part of a backbone in friendships and relationships alike.

see if a newspaper will buy your story

@lynlyn: This might sound cruel to you as well but how you go on and on about him contacting you and saying what all on the day of his marriage through the present, this smacks of hoping his current wife will read this thread and be further hurt. Something so horribly messed up as this, maybe you should keep it to yourself and/or a therapist.

I don’t think she will read this. I will deny seeing him if it comes to it. I want it all to go away.

I was just looking for advice for perfect strangers. I don’t want anyone I know knowing any of this drama. I am ashamed.

I believe that when one door closes, another one opens. There’s a saying that people come into your life for a reason or a season or a lifetime. Breakups are hard to handle and when you love someone, it’s very hard to let go. You have to learn to let go of your feelings and chalk it up to experience. Maybe there is a good reason why he’s not in your life now. Sure you feel guilty but I believe you are obsessed with him and that isn’t allowing you to move on. Keep busy, see other people and keep it friendly. Doing that will let you know who your friends, or future lovers are. Good Luck.

P.S. Better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. When the time is right, it will happen again.

You don’t love him. You want to own him. You don’t really understand love.