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CyanoticWasp's avatar

What was the name of that report in Office Space?

Asked by CyanoticWasp (20072points) December 21st, 2009

In the movie, there was a monthly (? or maybe weekly) report that the administration pukes made their living on, and the running joke in the movie was about the cover sheet for the something-something-something report.

What the hell was the name of that report, anyway?

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36 Answers

grumpyfish's avatar

TPS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TPS_Report

Sometimes actually called (when people can sneak it in) a Total Project Status Report. I know of at least two folks who have managed to get this on their projects as a “thing”

eponymoushipster's avatar

If you search for it on Google, you can find a PDF of the report to print out and use. I did that at work once. Make sure you fill it out in triplicate.

Cupcake's avatar

lurve for Office Space!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Thanks all (so far). I get to write and edit the ISO Work Instructions for our group, so I’m going to try to work it in gradually. We’re pretty acronym-heavy here as it is, and no one likes to ask, “What does that mean, anyway?” They feel out of the loop. This way, I’ll get to ensure that.

I like my job, really, and my boss and co-workers, too. But I do have a mean streak sometimes, and a playful one always.

zephyr826's avatar

Milt, we’re gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@zephyr826, Can I keep my stapler?

erichw1504's avatar

What would you do if you had a million dollars?
I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

eponymoushipster's avatar

i could see the squirrels….and they were merry.

zephyr826's avatar

@CyanoticWasp…mmmmmmh, yeah, we’re going to need that…OK?

stratman37's avatar

Damn, it feels good to be a gansta!

knitfroggy's avatar

When I worked an office job I was forever griping about someone taking my stapler. When this movie came out, I caught so much crap from my husband. He eventually purchased me my own stapler. I requested a plastic one so I could Sharpie my name on it. I love this movie. Somebody has a case of the Mondays!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@knitfroggy, I swear I don’t! But I did have to update a Work Instruction this morning, so I included a completely harmless (and necessary) line in that…

Name documents with a common system or style that will optimize sorting, searching and retrieving, such as: “TPS Report 2010–01”, for the January 2010 TPS Report.

We’ll see if anyone calls me on it.

azlotto's avatar

We’re going to Federal pound me in the ass prison.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I’ll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

stratman37's avatar

Would anyone mind if we turned this into an Office Space quotefest?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Not I. Except that I already didn’t get the ‘gansta’ remark, if that was a quote.

I’ve already gotten what I ‘needed’ from the Q. Hijack away, especially for such a good cause.

Sarcasm's avatar

It’s called a TPS report.
and, yeaaahhhh… I’m gonna need it on my desk… whenever you get a chance. That would be great, mmmmmkay?

stratman37's avatar

PETER
That’s a really good idea. (sits on the couch) Lawrence, what would you
do if you had a million dollars?

He sits down.

LAWRENCE
I’ll tell you what I’ll do, man—Two chicks at the same time.

Peter laughs.

PETER
That’s it? If you had a million dollars, that’s what you’d do, two
chicks at the same time?

LAWRENCE
Damn straight, man. I’ve always wanted to do that. I figure if I were a
millionaire, I could hook that up. Chicks dig guys with money.

PETER
Well not all chicks….

LAWRENCE
Well, the type that double up on a guy like me do.

stratman37's avatar

so… no one else?

Cupcake's avatar

Peter Gibbons:
I can’t believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We’re looking up “money laundering” in a dictionary.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@stratman37, @Sarcasm & @Cupcake: If I knew more quotes from the movie then the Q wouldn’t have even been there. These are all GAs; keep ‘em coming.

stratman37's avatar

PETER
Milton? Uh, could you turn that down just a little bit?

MILTON
Uh, they said I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from
nine to eleven while I’m collating….

PETER
But, no, no, no. I know you’re allowed to, I was just thinking, like a
personal favor, y’know?

MILTON
I, I told Bill that if Sandra’s going to listen to her headphones while
she’ working, I can listen to the radio while I’m collating -

PETER
Ok.

MILTON
So I don’t see why -

PETER
Ok.

MILTON
The radio, I can’t -

PETER
Yeah! All right!

He sits down.

stratman37's avatar

BOB SLYDELL
So what you do is you take the specifications from the customers and
you bring them down to the software engineers?

TOM
That, that’s right.

BOB PORTER
Well, then I gotta ask, then why can’t the customers just take the
specifications directly to the software people, huh?

TOM
Well, uh, uh, uh, because, uh, engineers are not good at dealing with
customers.

BOB SLYDELL
You physically take the specs from the customer?

TOM
Well, no, my, my secretary does that, or, or the fax.

BOB SLYDELL
Ah.

BOB PORTER
Then you must physically bring them to the software people.

TOM
Well…no. Yeah, I mean, sometimes.

BOB SLYDELL
Well, what would you say… you do here?

stratman37's avatar

BILL
Uh, I’m going to have to ask you to move your desk. Now, if you could
get it to go as far back against that wall as possible, that would be
great.

MILTON
No, no, because I was, I was -

BILL
That way, we’ll have some room for more boxes and things we need to put
in here.

MILTON
No…sir…

BILL
Uh (sees the Swingline) Oh there it is.

MILTON
No. No.

BILL
Let me just get that from ya. (picks it up) Great. So if you could get
to that as soon as possible, that would be terrific. Have a nice lunch,
Milton. Bye.

He walks off.

MILTON
Ok. I’ll set the building on fire.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I should not be reading these on a Monday. Fortunately, it’s a short week with a long weekend.

stratman37's avatar

PETER
Illegal? Samir, this is America! Come on, sit down! Come on! This isn’t
Riyadh! They’re not gonna saw your hands off, all right? The worse they
can do is put you for a couple of months into a while collar, minimum
security resort! Shit, we should be so lucky! Did you know they have
conjugal visits there?

SAMIR
Really.

PETER
Yes.

MICHAEL
Shit, I’m afraid. I haven’t had a conjugal visit in six months.

stratman37's avatar

PETER
Well, is he ok?

DREW
Sort of. He broke both his wrists, his legs, a couple of ribs, his
back. But check it out. He’s gonna get a huge settlement out of this.
Like seven figures.

He’s getting out of the hospital this weekend and
he’s throwing a big party to celebrate.

I’m thinking I’m gonna take
that new chick from Logistics. I might be showing her my O face. Oh!
Oh! Oh! you know what I’m talking about. Oh! Yeah. Right. See you guys
there.

Cupcake's avatar

Michael Bolton:
You think the pet rock was a really great idea?

Tom Smykowski:
Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago.

Peter Gibbons:
Really, what was it, Tom?

Tom Smykowski:
Well, all right. It was a “Jump to Conclusions” mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.

Blondesjon's avatar

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.

Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Blondesjon, okay, I totally remember that line. I cracked myself up for weeks with that.

knitfroggy's avatar

I bought a button at Hot Topic that says “this is my piece of flair” cracks me up.

azlotto's avatar

Hey, Peter! Turn on Channel 9! It’s a breast exam, WOOOO…

Aethelwine's avatar

There was salt on the glass, BIG grains of salt.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

Can i show someone my “O Face”?

stratman37's avatar

“O, O, O. I think you know what I mean…”

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