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pod156's avatar

I need advice... I'm unconditionally in love with a married women.

Asked by pod156 (7points) December 21st, 2009

We were once the best of friends until certain situations led to her finding out my feelings for her. She decided it would be best for the both of us if we didn’t speak or see each other anymore and because of this, I am going absolutely crazy. It’s been over a year since I’ve looked into her eyes, heard her voice, or seen her smile and I’m beginning to forget how it felt to be surrounded by her beauty and that’s just something I never ever want to lose. There’s this thing inside of me that just knows that we could be perfect for each other, she must have been put into my life for a reason. I need this girl and I have no idea what to do to get her back in my life and it’s killing me. Is there anything I can do besides just sit and wait for her? Even to get her friendship back would be more than enough for me. I just don’t want her to be the one that I let slip away.

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24 Answers

Aethelwine's avatar

She’s married. Leave her alone!

If she wanted more from you she would let you know.

willbrawn's avatar

she didn’t let it go anywhere for a reason. Let her go! Move on!

willbrawn's avatar

also just because you think you are perfect together she might not feel the same.

If you can’t get over her you might need help. Talk to a good friend. And do yourself a favor and listen to their advice.

elizabethmae's avatar

I’m sorry. She has already made her decision and you have to accept that. If you don’t you will only humiliate yourself and possibly ruin her marriage. Besides you don’t want to be dwelling over this and possibly miss out on the right woman when she does come along. Good luck to you.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Have some respect and get a clue! She does not feel the same way about you, it’s borderline creepy the way you describe your feelings and it would probably creep her out if you told her what you’ve told us. And respect her wishes- she married someone else. Leave her alone like she wants you to do. It will never happen between you two. If you pursue her, it would be rude and disrespectful. How much more blunt can she be?!?! “Letting her slip away” would mean she wanted a relationship and you didn’t do enough to keep it. She ran away on her own free will.

Fly's avatar

She’s MARRIED. Back off. She stopped the friendship because the feeling clearly wasn’t mutual. That’s the end of that. Get over it.

skfinkel's avatar

Sometimes you just have to let things go, and sadly for you, this sounds like one of these times.

Facade's avatar

Let her go. You’ll find someone else, I’m sure. <3

proXXi's avatar

It is immature to believe that love trumps propriety.

kevbo's avatar

Oh noes! Another impossible-to-solve moral dilemma from a newborn jelly.

lillycoyote's avatar

Does she have children? Even if she doesn’t , your needs are not sufficient to justify your participation in helping to destroy her marriage. Don’t be so goddamn fucking selfish. Leave her alone. And what you can do is acknowledge that this is something that cannot be. We don’t always get to have everything we want, no matter how much we want it. Walk away. You have no right to be a temptation to her.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Do yourself a favor and move on with your life. She’s not losing sleep over it. Why should you?

Sonnerr's avatar

I think that the best thing you can do right now is take a step back. Are you single? involved with anyone?

If not, Take a step back and understand that’s she’s married and probably happy. Maybe you might want to try and look at it this way: consider her to be a beautiful painting in a museum. As you stand there awestruck, you think you might take it from its humble position on the wall. The painting is gorgeous, but it belongs on the wall. Whether you take it or leave it, the choice is ultimately up to you.

Merriment's avatar

She may have been put in your life to teach you the lesson that loving someone means wishing for their happiness even if it costs you their company.

Instead of holding her up as the only person for you why not take all of her qualities that make you love her and begin looking for someone with those qualities who is free to love you in return?

You aren’t letting her “slip away”, you are wishing her bon voyage for her life even if it doesn’t include you.

melanie81's avatar

I don’t really have advice, but I just want to say I’m sorry :( It seems like you have so much feeling inside, and unfortunately it seems like it’s not being reciprocated. I feel for you, my feelings completely take over my life at times.

melanie81's avatar

@kevbo Come on, give the guy a break. Everyone had to start at square one on Fluther at some point – including you. No need to poke fun at him for it. His question isn’t any more or less important than someone with 15322 “lurves” or whatever they’re called.

SirGoofy's avatar

WoooWoooWoooWoooWoooWoooWoooWooo. Pull over, sir. How you doin’ today? I’m afraid I’m going to have to cite you for leaving your jurisdiction without authorization.

UScitizen's avatar

Are you male or female?

willbrawn's avatar

I think he got the idea. Since he hasn’t posted anything else on this thread. That or he disagreed with all of us.

proXXi's avatar

LOL @kevbo, My thoughts exactly.

kevbo's avatar

@melanie81, I’m not poking fun at “him” for “his problem.” I don’t believe this is a sincere question and am responding accordingly. My lurve doesn’t mean anything relative to that and my experience with Fluther and the internet in general isn’t anything special, but I have certainly seen enough of this scenario to know that my supposition is more likely correct than not.

At least I am more oblique about it than I used to be.

proXXi's avatar

In defense of @kevbo, I’ve made the same observation.

There does seem to be an increase in the number of dubious questions from very fresh users.

liliesndaisies's avatar

I would have to say she’s a strong principled girl who stood up for something that’s right for herself, her family and for you!
Are you thrilled in this situation because she is something you cannot have? there are many women looking for love. Someone should be meant for you. ;)

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