Social Question

max53's avatar

Would you ever, under any circumstances consider cheating on your partner?

Asked by max53 (305points) January 25th, 2010

An honest answer. You are in love with your partner, but an attractive friend, stranger, acquaintance has made it known that they would like to have a no-strings-attached rendezvous with you. Would you do it if you thought there was no chance of your partner ever finding out? Why or why not?

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57 Answers

ccrow's avatar

No way. The fallout isn’t worth it.

HGl3ee's avatar

Oh heck no! I love my SO way to much to completely disrespect him like that. Maybe he would never find out, but I would have to live dealing with the guilt of cheating.. Makes my tummy flip-flop just thinking about it :\

hug_of_war's avatar

I wouldn’t cheat on my partner even if we both knew the relationship was not going to be something we could see doing for the rest of our lives.

mowens's avatar

No. Not ever.



pearls's avatar

There is no way I would do that. I know full well the repercussions of that. I was on the receiving end of a cheater.

BoBo1946's avatar

No way…her feelings means to much to me !

TheJoker's avatar

I wouldn’t under those circumstances. I cant say for sure if I was in a relationship that had broken down in some way & I had fallen for another person though…. tricky to know.

Kokoro's avatar

No. Cheating on someone is cowardly, and one should give the other partner respect by breaking it off if they feel the need to be with someone else.

Snarp's avatar

No. Why? It seems absurd to even ask. Because I made promise, because I care about my wife and my family, because a lifetime is worth more than one night.

Sophief's avatar

Absolutely not. I have done in the past though. My first serious boyfriend, I cheated on him once and it was for awful sex, and he never found out, though he cheated on me also and left me for her. I cheated on my ex, I wasn’t in love with him and I was never attracted to him, and I told him each time. Now I am with the one, I would never even think of cheating on him, nobody catches my eye, because I don’t look. No one could compare to him, so no point in looking.

marinelife's avatar

No. Cheating is cheating. It is not something I would do. It takes away from the relationship. It takes away from my own code of ethics.

njnyjobs's avatar

I always ask myself: Will it complicate my life? . . . if the answer is yes, then it’s a no-no!

max53's avatar

@Snarp My reason for asking is that even though most people consider it wrong, it still seems to happen pretty often. Lately, I’ve seen someone who I never imagined would cheat on their partner do it for little reason other than possibly their own personal need for attention.

aiwendil's avatar

I’m going to sound like an awful person. @max53, that personal need for attention can be pretty huge sometimes, especially when you see your significant other one weekend of the month. And I’ve done it. I’ve found myself in a position where I knew I could get in trouble and I just let it happen. After, I felt like it didn’t matter because whatever just happened didn’t mean anything to me more than as a physical encounter and I was perfectly ready to keep it a secret. As it turned out, when I saw the beau a few days later I cracked and told him. We’re still together and most of the time it’s like nothing ever happened, but it’s something both of us won’t forget for a very long time. Thankfully I have a forgiving man, and his understanding in my own immaturity and nature is astounding.

life_after_2012's avatar

no, thats bad for the soul, even if your partners is doing it, that doesn;t make it right. at least not in my opinion. good luck to you

max53's avatar

@aiwendil Thank you for sharing that and for your honesty. It’s good to hear that you two were able to work things out and get past that for the most part.

ubersiren's avatar

Definitely not just for the scenario you mentioned in the description. I don’t like to say ‘never’ but I honestly can’t imagine ever wanting anyone other than my husband. He completely rocks.

fireinthepriory's avatar

Like @ubersiren, not under the circumstances you describe, but “cheating” is a complicated issue. I don’t think I can say I would never do it under any circumstances.

SuperMouse's avatar

Not under those circumstances.

Naked_Homer's avatar


I just finalized a divorce last Friday. We had sex 4 times in 7 years in the span of 1 week to conceive our second daughter. It was something we talked about. A problem I let her know I was not pleased with. But I never cheated because that would have made me feel far worse.

If you find yourself in a position where that is acceptable or you have done it and you can live with yourself you owe it to your partner to come clean.

I myself couldn’t picture that. Nor could I picture them doing that to me.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I love my fella very very much and in the years that we have been together I have not met or even seen anyone that compares to him in my eyes (looks or personality). For that reason I can’t imagine that I could ever cheat on him judging by he way I feel about him.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Naked_Homer you are a good man Charlie Brown!

ubersiren's avatar

@Naked_Homer Holy shit! I hope you get lots of action now.

max53's avatar

@Naked_Homer Honestly, under those circumstances, unless there was some other form of intimacy in the relationship, I don’t know if I could have been faithful. I second @ubersiren in hoping the future will make up for that.

BoBo1946's avatar

@max53 you have to take your hat off to the man Max…but, agree with you!

Naked_Homer's avatar

@all – thanks all. But that would be my point. I either choose to stay and try to fix things under the promise I made or dissolve that promise in a fashion that is known to and as fair as can be to both parties.

Now as it turns out, on all fronts, I was the only one who decided to adhere to what we promised. But at least I can live with myself. No matter what she tells herself or tries to convince herself of, she knows what a bad partner she was on all fronts.

aiwendil's avatar

@Naked_Homer Yup, coming clean. It worked for me, and really, there was no option. The guilt would have consumed me.

Naked_Homer's avatar

@aiwendil – good for you. It sure showed you the caliber of man you have.

casheroo's avatar

No. I agree with @ubersiren
Also, this may sound bad but..if I were to cheat, it better be damn well worth losing my family and everything we’ve built. I’d have to want to leave my husband completely and be with someone else for me to cheat. But, if I wanted to cheat, then I would assume we had other issues.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Never. I was never even tempted. Even following her death, I still consider any relationship to be “cheating”. When I swore “until death do you part”, it meant to me my death.

Syger's avatar

Absolutely not.

nicobanks's avatar

Not again, no. This circumstance arose for me once, and I discovered I was incapable of keeping my mouth shut. I just couldn’t brush the thing off, as I assumed I’d be able to: the guilt was too heavy.

This circumstance has arisen for me a second time since then, and I was able to stay faithful. I feel pretty confident I will never cheat again.

majorrich's avatar

Perhaps 20 years ago, when I was away 10 months of the year to all over the planet I may have entertained fantasies of encounters with indigenous women. But, having too much to lose and a very dark ‘ring-tan’ to remind me of my vows, never happened.

Now, being as I cannot drive and the equipment is unreliable at best. Illicit carnal intercourse is out of the question. Besides, pain hurts too much.

scotsbloke's avatar

You want me to be honest?

I’d consider it, Think about it, WOnder about it, fantasize about it, build it into a dirty fantasy or two – Sure, Absolutely !

Would I actually do it? Hell no!!
I’ve been on the receiving end of it in the past, I wouldnt wish that on anyone. But I’d imagine most guys would “think” about it. if they were honest.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, and NO!!!! I would not want then to do it to me, I would know how she would feel, it is disrespectful, and if I thought so little of her I should at least have the decency to end it with her before cheating on her and living a lie.

Britcraft86's avatar

umm no, mainly b/c if your thinking of cheating then your not with the person you should, you should have enough respect for the person your with to not do it. and if you love or care about the person your with you wouldnt do it. Doesnt matter if they find out or not, its just wrong. If your even thinking of cheating then its obvious the relationship is over.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Nah. That fella would only be thinking of themselves, then, because most likely, they’d know I was partnered. I wouldn’t want to facilitate such selfishness. Surely there’s other equally attractive women the man could have a NSA ONS with.

deni's avatar

No. If I am in love with someone, I would much prefer sex with them than with someone I barely know and have no feelings for. I wouldn’t even be tempted.

BoBo1946's avatar

what is sex?

JONESGH's avatar

I might be tempting, but no.

phil196662's avatar

Cheating? Actually it is not an issue with us, the Wife and I are in an open marriage with a policy that the other meets the new person first. This does not happen often as we are currently happy with the small group of people in our circle. For us it’s more like an extended support group.

YARNLADY's avatar

I’m not a cheater, and nothing could change that. I don’t even have the slightest romantic interest in anyone else. We’ve been married for 35 years, and still going strong. Why mess with something that works this well?

HGl3ee's avatar

@YARNLADY : Beautifully put! Much lurve to you <3

filmfann's avatar

The important part of the question is the “Under any circumstances” bit.

Yes. If the survival of the world depended on me banging Natalie Portman, I will sacrifice my marriage vows. My wife would understand.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@filmfann What if to save the word you had to boink Rossi O’Donnell or Delta Burke? Ummmmm…........the plot thickens Hee hee hee :-)

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

No. This scenario is familiar though since I have a former “fling” that occasionally hits me up even though they know I’m in an agreed to exclusive relationship now and they actually like my partner very much. When I’m in love then I have no want to be with anyone else, strings or not. After all these years that’s one thing that’s remained constant in me is that I have no problem honoring my comittments, I enjoy it.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

No, I only have eyes for one girl. If I did for some reason, I doubt I could live with myself. I don’t wish to judge people who have, but it is something that is so far against my morals I would be physically sick.

daemonelson's avatar

Nope. I’ve had the opportunities before, didn’t, and not gonna happen.

LethalCupcake's avatar

Never….. and if you do consider it – then you don’t love your SO enough to even be in a relationship with them

bottles's avatar

no, I have never considered cheating…. if you consider it your a douche bag and since when was there ever a circumstance for cheating? no way… and there is no excuse for cheating either

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No I wouldn’t. I’d tell him, instead and he’d be okay with it.

Naked_Homer's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – that isn’t cheating though. That is an understanding you both have.

majorrich's avatar

I am also fairly certain my wife can kick my ass back to the cro-magnon era.

BoBo1946's avatar

@majorrich LOLL..think she could make you into a Java man!

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