General Question

JHUstudent's avatar

How do you approach the "I've met someone else" situation?

Asked by JHUstudent (692points) September 16th, 2013

I’m just curious, really. I’ve been in that situation before, and I’m speaking when I’m the one who has met someone else. Something always happens that it resolves itself, but how would you approach it if you truly had to have that conversation with your current Significant other?

Is truth always the best option? Just curious what everyone has to say about it. Thanks for the help.

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14 Answers

Judi's avatar

I would never put myself in a position to be so close to “someone else” that I would have to have this conversation before I exited the current relationship. I have big fat boundaries and I would never endanger my relationship like that. If I were unhappy in my current relationship I would finish that before I would ever be available to explore a new one.

zenvelo's avatar

Despite what @Judi says, there are times when one meets someone that is overwhelming in their emotional connection, and your present relationship isn’t that strong. For me it is a matter of honesty in breaking it off as quickly as possible, but not necessarily saying why.

And maybe I am being too bright-lined here, but the whole situation points to the need to break off your current relationship without regard to what happens with the new person you have met. If your current is that tenuous, end it now. And that way you are free to see if the new one works out or not.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’d be honest with him, 100%, but since that is completely against my religion, it won’t happen. I’d deny myself the other person in penance.

Headhurts's avatar

I wouldn’t, and like @Judi said, I wouldn’t allow myself to even slightly get in that situation. I am very happy in my relationship so I do not even look at anyone else. My answer to the second part of your question, is to be honest. You loved, or at least cared for the person once, show respect and be honest.

ragingloli's avatar

“So? I am fine with polygamy.”

whitenoise's avatar

I meet someone else all the time. It has no reflection on my relationship with my wife.

I have a beautiful, fantastic wife and that isn’t changing because I meet someone else. If I meet someone I develop a crush for, I just wait for that to pass.

Fairly simple, sorry…

Seek's avatar

I’m with @whitenoise. Crushes are fun, but fantasy kicks the pants off reality.

wildpotato's avatar

I’d say hey, I’m thinking about getting with/I got together with such and such person. We have an open relationship.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wildpotato When you have time, I’d like to hear more about that. I’ve heard it’s back in vogue and getting more popular, even here in the Midwest.

antimatter's avatar

Tell the truth

DWW25921's avatar

Look, we’ve had some good times. Moments that I will cherish always. I just think those moments are in the past and it’s time for us to move on. I know, it’s hard but it’s for the best. You deserve freedom and I want something different. Duck incoming objects I hope you find happiness and have a truly fantastic life!

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elbanditoroso's avatar

Tell the truth. But be prepared for the other person to say “I never want to see you again, ever”

DO NOT SAY “I want to remain friends”. That’s bullshit.

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