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Steve_A's avatar

How much can a positive mind set work till reality sets in?

Asked by Steve_A (5120points) March 5th, 2010

I have had some I would say crap luck of the late, but I have kept my head up and said fuck it not in the bad way but just keep going kind of way.

And there is that side of me that says you can still do it, but you know you have to look at things for what they are after awhile.

I guess what I’m getting at is how much can you say “I can” ” I won’t stop” etc…. Before you have to just accept that it ain’t gonna happen?

Where do you draw the line between your bullshitting yourself and just keeping your head up?

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10 Answers

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I draw the line at the point of hearing the Cry of Truth Molested.

ArtiqueFox's avatar

“Bullshitting” and placing yourself on a silk cushion mentally are not good options, at any time. Both can cause you to lose your drive, either because you are to discouraged or to comfortable. Rather, being realistic about your weaknesses and strengths is a more workable path. Call if “self-realism.” You know what you can do, and you do it. You know what you can not do and you do not it (or you stop). You know what needs to be worked on (and you can do so without abusing yourself) and you know what strong points to exercise.

Going in one of the two directions – “bullshitting” one’s self or the opposite – is to far, and counter productive. The middle ground offers a steadier path…and gives you a healthy view of your shining and no not shiny attributes.

Nullo's avatar

Depends on how much the mindset differs from the actual, I think.
For me, work can sometimes suck: it’s cold and wet, and the customers are all but oblivious to my existence. But I can ignore all that and focus on the way that I’m improving their lives and my own, and that I don’t have to deal with them in any sort of problem-solving capacity, and that I have no deadlines, no crabby boss to breathe down my neck, no impossible co-workers. I basically mind my own business all day and they pay me for it.

Just_Justine's avatar

I used to do that a lot, talk myself better. As I thought of it then. It did seem to produce some semblance of success in the area I was talking myself away from . In a way this self talk kept me static, in jobs I despised for example. So my theory has changed. Instead of focusing on what I should be doing. I focus on the positive idea of what I can be doing in the same situation. I did say “can” be doing. So for example. If I am doing badly at work with my figures. Instead of saying I can be doing great, I will do great, and visualizing great figures. I instead, remind myself of my strengths like ” I am a great relationship builder” or ” I am a creative sales person”. I enjoy those two areas and I am good at them. So instead of wasting my time on pushing forward an idea (into the universe) that I will make great figures (which carries no real substance or meat). I get down with the things I can do and start to use my positive thoughts. If something is not working out, after trying different approaches, I don’t see it as failure or luck, I see it as life sending me on a new path. Something more in line with what I want. So all the self talk becomes less. I have also allowed myself to wallow in my feeling of “fuck it” and suddenly my luck has just changed. I think that sentence is saying I allow myself to see the dark bits too. I hope that all made sense.

Steve_A's avatar

Excellent points all thanks…this makes me reconsider how I am looking and thinking about things.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Who says you can’t change your plan mid -game?
A positive attitude has worked wonders for me.

marinelife's avatar

The positive attitude will help no matter what happens in your life. We cannot control outside factors, but we can always control our response to things.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

All you need to do is get up one more time than you get knocked down.
The point is, always get up!

mattbrowne's avatar

Positive psychology can work your entire life.

dabbler's avatar

Your last question almost answers the whole enchillada sideways. If reality isn’t around or has set itself out then that’s not positive thinking it’s delusional == bullshit. A genuine positive mind set isn’t going to wear out and suddenly stop masking OMG reality. That’s delusion. A genuine positive mindset will insist you engage reality fully and honestly and squarely because that mindset wants to know what it’s dealing with to maximize the positive directions and outcomes. It’s work, and rewarding. Most delusional mindsets will disengage reality because they it’s seems easier, more comfortable maybe for a moment. Can seem like less work but delusion gets harder and harder and self-defeats in the end. The sooner reality sets in the sooner you can have a positive mind set. Imagination and Imagineering and deep visualizations, and just plain old planning are great tools for working with the opportunities reality makes available. It’s also important to distinguish determination from stubbornness and attitude from goals and specific wants. ’“I can” face this with the clearest thinking and a strong resolve to find the way to the best outcome’ and ’“I won’t stop” being patient with every obstacle thrown at me” mean very different things from ’“I can” win the lotto’ and ’“I won’t stop” until I make that gal/guy love me / forgive me / pay me’

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