Social Question

Shae's avatar

Should Bigots be allowed to run schools? Lesbians at Prom?

Asked by Shae (2351points) March 11th, 2010

Here is your chance to voice your opinion to some real bigots

Teresa McNeece – Superintendent
Email: tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us
Phone: (662)862–2159 Ext. 14

and to contact the School Board.
http://www.itawambacountyschools.com/board_members.htm

Call and let the school system know how you feel about this.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lesbian_prom_date

JACKSON, Miss. – A northern Mississippi school district will not be hosting a high school prom this spring after a lesbian student sought to attend with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.

The Itawamba County school district’s board decided Wednesday to drop the prom because of what it called recent distractions but without specifically mentioning the girl’s request, which was backed by the American Civil Liberties Union.

The student, 18-year-old high school senior Constance McMillen, said the cancellation was retaliation for her efforts to bring her girlfriend, also a student, to the April 2 dance.

“A bunch of kids at school are really going to hate me for this, so in a way it’s really retaliation,” McMillen told The Clarion-Ledger of Jackson. Calls to McMillen by The Associated Press late Wednesday went unanswered.

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100 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

This is so maddening. I hate homophobic actions. The kids should get together and have a random prom in the middle of their school yard and shove a middle finger in front of the school board. I sent her the following:

Dear Theresa,

I recently heard about the Itawamba’s County school district’s board decision to cancel prom because a lesbian student wanted to bring her partner to the prom (all claims backed up by the American Civil Liberties Union). As a queer person, a mother and a long time activist for the LGBT community, this angers and upsets me. I implore you to look into the issue because it is the year 2010 and this kind of homophobic discrimination should NOT be tolerated by anyone, especially those claiming to be educators of our youth. Not only is this action unfair to the individuals mentioned above but it affects the entire student body because it sends a clear message of oppression and bigotry. Best,
Simone (except I used my real name and address)

and I will put this information on facebook and tell all my friends to do something about this as well…thanks for the heads up.

Shae's avatar

Thank you Simon!!! Spread the word!

MissAnthrope's avatar

I personally am waiting for the day when homophobes get that this kind of thing doesn’t prevent gayness. Gay people have always existed and they will continue to exist, cancelling proms, not allowing them in the military, proselytizing, etc. will not change that fact.

ucme's avatar

Unless she has a bucket of pig blood poured over her & answers to the name Carrie,then I would say all comers are welcome. Regardless of sexuality or anything else for that matter.Very narrow minded & as you say bigoted.

holden's avatar

This is one of the few cases where I actually hope that a lawsuit ensues and ends in a multi-million dollar settlement.

Wait, this happened in Mississippi? Why is anyone surprised?

noyesa's avatar

@holden I hate to be a jerk about something like this, but I basically thought the same thing. I don’t think this ever would have happened in the town I live in up north.

njnyjobs's avatar

I have nothing against members of the LGBT community. . . but my sentiments for the upholding of established policies. Since they have a policy in place and her actions violates the policy, then corrective measures established by the policy should be enforced.

If the ACLU truly wants to back up the student, they should probably gone the route of amending the policy to rid it of it’s presumed bias tone. As it was, the school administration and the school board are simply upholding established policy. Could the administrators make the effort to overlook this issue? they probably could have if the student went about her business in a discreet manner. . . . . flame on

MissAnthrope's avatar

I feel like if you’re an educator, and/or in charge of running a public school (i.e. run with taxpayer dollars), you should not be allowed to push ANY sort of agenda. You should not be allowed to segregate students, or retaliate against two students by punishing the entire student body, or otherwise push your fanatical religio-moral views on the kids. Knowing that I helped pay for that shit really irks me.

MrItty's avatar

I’m so massively confused. She had to request permission to bring her g/f and to wear a tux? From whom? Is there seriously a dress review board that gets to grant permission on everyone’s planned attire, and who arrives at the prom with whom?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs Okay, policies such as these exist for a reason, they don’t just spring forth from Athena’s womb – they exist so that others can rely on them when a homophobic action such as this is to be taken.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@MrItty And then people tell me not to go on and on about how gender norms hurt others!

holden's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. No, really, that’s got to be a fucking joke.

Seriously, I hope these kids sue the school board and wring every last penny out of their pockets. It’s money that probably would have gone toward teaching abstinence-only sex education and creationism anyway.

FutureMemory's avatar

@MissAnthrope I feel like if you’re an educator, and/or in charge of running a public school (i.e. run with taxpayer dollars), you should not be allowed to push ANY sort of agenda. You should not be allowed to segregate students, or retaliate against two students by punishing the entire student body, or otherwise push your fanatical religio-moral views on the kids. Knowing that I helped pay for that shit really irks me.

Excellent post.

Shae's avatar

@njnyjobs

What? Rules are rules no matter if they are right? Follow the established bigoted rules b/c hey they are already in place? Glad we didn’t have to rely on you for the Civil Rights movement of the 60’s.

wilma's avatar

That wouldn’t happen where I live.
There might be a few raised eyebrows from the prejudiced people, but no one would “do” anything about it. The prom would go on just as planned.
ya and who has to get permission?

Shae's avatar

And why the hell should she be discreet? To go the prom you have to have your date approved, she tried. They denied her. Now they must pay.

tinyfaery's avatar

Oh, gawd. Here we go.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I never had a prom.. you have to get your date approved?? WTF?

noyesa's avatar

@wilma That’s pretty much how I feel about it. It’s like race relations—I feel like that’s such a huge issue in my town and it has created such a sore on our society that it’s a huge, depressing, and embarrassing dark spot, and that’s criminal enough. But to think that someone is actually committing and act like this in the same country I live in…

Around here, it would be some uncomfortable people and a few dirty looks, but nobody would say anything because they know it’s not right, even if they believe otherwise. It bewilders me when I hear about institutional prejudice like that.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@tinyfaery well you don’t have to go with us if you don’t want to but this shit happens so often that it doesn’t hurt to constantly remind people that it’s still happening

wilma's avatar

@noyesa yes, and we are from the same ‘neck of the woods”, so to speak.

njnyjobs's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir and @Shae – - granting that maybe the case, but it must be realized that the policy may have been in place before the current generation of liberal mindedness. As I had stated, I have no qualms or beef or anything against the LGBT community as people who know me would attest to. If we let everyone go against established rules, policies, laws, then why the hell are we as a society relying on them to rule our daily lives? .

My position is that of upholding the rules of the land as best as I can, in whatever field or situation it may be… If there are rules that goes against my own personal beliefs and persuasion, I will try to abide by the rules as best I can or take myself out of its jurisdiction if my efforts are futile….it’s that simple. I’m not the type of person who will knowingly upset the whole system for my own personal gain.

I think I missed the part about the requirement of getting someone’s date requested for approval…or there’s actually no reference to that?

FutureMemory's avatar

Shit like this makes me glad I live in California. I doubt it would happen here.

augustlan's avatar

This is utterly mind boggling. I can’t even believe this shit still happens in 2010.

DominicX's avatar

@njnyjobs

It isn’t just about personal gain, though. This kind of thing could affect many future students. I’m not a fan of this “just take it” policy. If rules are crooked, then you should try to change them. It isn’t always just about following orders to maintain the status quo. Sometimes the status quo sucks. Change doesn’t happen with everyone just sitting there and doing nothing. It requires action and I for one would take action against a crooked rule such as this one.

If no one ever went against established laws, then we would still have segregated drinking fountains, corporal punishment in schools, and women would not be allowed to vote. You may think it just affects one person, but it doesn’t. It can have an enormous effect on many people.

You have to start small like this. It grows.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs Okay you’re discussing some random school’s policy not the national policy on dealing with military threats – these things aren’t written in stone and aren’t worth squat or shouldn’t be worth squat legally. I agree with you that the underlying problem should be addressed but I don’t want this student to have to go to court to change it – that’s ridiculous.

mammal's avatar

The whole Prom thing is frankly a pretty painful American tradition and it has spread to Britain. Having said that these girls have challenged the horrible pressure of finding and exhibiting the perfect mate for peer/social approval.

CMaz's avatar

Ya know. Some chicks can’t pull off wearing a tux.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz :) I’m sure you, however, look lovely in an evening gown

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz or…“that’s because their wings are clipped and they’re engineered to have bigger breasts”...however you want to take it, I can do this all day

CMaz's avatar

I really do!

augustlan's avatar

Just sent this email:

I cannot believe what I’m hearing out of your school district. What on earth are you people thinking? Ironically, canceling a prom so that the lesbian couple doesn’t make waves sure has made a lot of waves, wouldn’t you say? Wouldn’t it have been kinder, smarter, and hell… easier to not let fear and hate rule the day? It’s 2010, people! Get with the program. Love is love, people are people, and they all deserve to dance.

Lisa ****

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@augustlan Lovely. And all so very true.

tinyfaery's avatar

I seriously doubt that this school or school district has a rule/law that says girls cannot wear tuxes or go with another girl to prom.

njnyjobs's avatar

@DominicX and @Simone_De_Beauvoir I agree with you that the policy needs to go. But the fact of the matter is that the school administration acted in its capacity and within the bounds of school policies. The ACLU’s tactic, typical of them as it may, of strong-arming the district can probably be blamed as well for the administration’s resulting decision. If you know me, you will learn that I have been dealing with various school district officials for almost 20 years. They’re a mixed bag. I have to learn each and everyone’s character and background in order for me to be successful in my business and personal dealings with them. I have learned early on how to dance and danced with, and around, them I did.

As for the two students, couldn’t they have signed-up as attending without dates and then hooking up there instead of broadcasting (edited by me in respect to a point brought up by Simone) stating their preferences? I’m sure they could have done that, but then we wouldn’t have this great topic to discuss here.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs You reveal your bias when you think that what these students are doing is ‘broadcasting their preferences’ – you would never say such a thing of straight kids.

CMaz's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – What do ya think?

njnyjobs's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m sorry to disappoint you but I have no bias to reveal. I feel sorry for the whole community that the prom had to turn out that way.

Here’s what the news said in part:
“The ACLU said McMillen approached school officials shortly before the memo went out because she knew same-sex dates had been banned in the past. The ACLU said district officials told McMillen she and her girlfriend wouldn’t be allowed to arrive together, that she would not be allowed to wear a tuxedo, and that she and her girlfriend might be asked to leave if their presence made any other students “uncomfortable.”

If I were McMillen, I would have arrived separate from the girlfriend, not wear a tuxedo but I’m sure I’ll find something else to my liking, and make sure that other students (who are supportive of me laready anyway, so that’s a no brainer) are okay with our presence…. It’s that simple. The district practically gave her and her girlfriend a way around the system.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs They did? Why am I reading the same thing and not seeing that this was somehow a ‘nice gesture’ on their part – why should they have to go through all this bs to begin with? It’s demeaning and humiliating – how would you react if your lesbian teenage daughter had to go through this?

MrItty's avatar

@njnyjobs The prom did NOT “have to turn out that way”. The school board CHOSE to cancel it. They could have just as easily – if not more easily – said “Sure no problem, have fun.”

Exactly why should this girl have had to “make sure that other students are okay with our presence”? Does anyone else in the school have to make such a precaution?

njnyjobs's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir since you asked how I would react it it were my daughter, I would tell her the same thing. . . Go individually and hook-up at the prom and enjoy the night. It’s as simple as that. I would not go out of my way to rock the boat and ruin it for everyone.

It’s stated that McMillen already knew about the policy even before the memo was issued. The way I see it is she’s trying to break balls with people who have tougher balls to break. Like I said, I can dance with and dance around… in this case I will choose to dance around.

@MrItty I agree, but since the involvement of the ACLU, things got muddy, especially when they said this: “The ACLU of Mississippi had given the district until Wednesday to change that policy, The School Board probably said, who the F*** do you think you are ordering us to do things . . . . F*** you and F*** everybody . . . No Prom for you! Do you even know where you are?

liminal's avatar

@njnyjobs you said this: “but it must be realized that the policy may have been in place before the current generation of liberal mindedness”

Certainly, if it was in place before liberal mindedness then most likely it was in place because of racial and cultural discrimination. Particularly, racial segregation.

Surely the civil rights movement shows us that, sometimes, passive aggression only takes us so far.

I applaud the tuxedo wearing, policy exposing, action! I am off to write my letter!

MrItty's avatar

@njnyjobs right. So they decided to give a big FU to the ACLU – by hurting their entire student body. Swell guys.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs It isn’t you who’d ruin it for everyone – it’s the school board that ruined it for everyone, willingly.

Shae's avatar

Some people are cowards and do what they are told. Some people fight tyranny.

njnyjobs's avatar

As @Shae solicited: Here is your chance to voice your opinion to some real bigots . . . those were my opinions, based on the information that all of us had a chance to peruse.

Am I a bigot and biased as @Simone_De_Beauvoir would like to paint?... Did I attack anyone’s personal opinion? . . . Did anyone offer any viable alternative scenario? . . .A big resounding NO, NO, NO!

@Shae, you probably should have added a disclaimer to this opinion poll.

…and this still remains my own opinion.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs I never called you a bigot but I stand that you revealed some bias (stop getting dramatic) – your opinion is not being attacked, no one is yelling at you, I am not angry, you’re not angry, relax.

MrItty's avatar

@njnyjobs Uhm. Well, you do seem to be biased, as you seem to be asserting this girl should have to “make sure everyone’s comfortable with her” simply because of a school rule, whereas no one else has to. And lots of people (myself included) did offer a great big viable alternative scenario – the schoolboard could have simply said “Yes” to the girls’ request. Soo….what’s your point again?

Shae's avatar

If the shoe fits someone will cry persecution.

njnyjobs's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir what bias was revealed?

@MrItty let’s turn the table around… If I were the cheer captain and started acting stupid and bitchy to the point that some students feel uncomfortable with my actions. I’m sure I could get escorted out of the prom as well.

I guess the courts would now have to decide.

Nullo's avatar

This question forces the reader to assume that people who do not condone homosexuality are bigots. This is not the case.

I stand with the school on this, and will be informing them of my support. It’s their prom, they can run it the way that they like.

@augustlan Why do you assume that the issues are fear and hate? A lot of people simply go by Right and Wrong.

The double standard here really irks me. Can’t let the valedictorian pray, can’t let people play “Ave Maria” at graduation, can’t say “Under God” in the pledge, can’t have a Bible, in some schools, but what drives Flutherites into a frenzy? Not letting lesbian go to prom together.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs I already explained above in my earlier comment to you
@Nullo they can run it however they like but they don’t have to discriminate against people based on their sexuality or gender expression – that is bigoted and if you support that, you are bigoted. And yeah, congrats on really ‘sticking to your guns’ on this one.

DominicX's avatar

@Nullo

Being intolerant of differences, i.e. not allowing people of a different sexuality to attend = bigotry.

You can not condone homosexuality all you like, but this is discrimination based on bigotry. Not condoning homosexuality in itself does not make you a bigot, but discriminating against them does make you a bigot.

DominicX's avatar

@Nullo

Praying and having a Bible are individual things so of course they should be allowed to do/have them. I don’t speak for all Flutherites, but I certainly would not have been opposed to those. People shouldn’t be forced to pray by the school, however.

“Under God” is different. That forces people to say something that they don’t believe in. (There are stories of kids getting in trouble for not saying the Pledge). You’re not forced to look at the lesbian couple if their very existence bothers you so much.

Berserker's avatar

Omg poor girl. What kinda bullshit is this? Someone get those fucks at the school board a fucking joint.

njnyjobs's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir your explanation was heeded and I was quick to amend my wording as it didn’t convey what I was trying to say. . . and you still stood by your claim.

Regarding your stement: They did? Why am I reading the same thing and not seeing that this was somehow a ‘nice gesture’ on their part – why should they have to go through all this bs to begin with? .... Sometimes you need to step back, do a double take and take relevant facts into consideration. . . . you will then may see that there are ways around things…same outcome, less difficulty.

Shae's avatar

@Nullo Here is the difference. The Valictorian can pray to alone to thier God anytime they feel like at at graduation. Graduation is not cancelled b/c a Christian wants to attend and guess what he/she can even invite thier pastor. BUT standing before the entire student body and forcing them to listen to your prayer is not right.

Forcing everyone to listen to a song about worshiping Mary at graduation is not right. Want to wear you ipod and play it to your hearts content, go for it. I am a prodestant and was raised to beleive that the worship of Mary is idolatry. So you gonna force your idolatry on me?

Under God in the pledge, Why would you want an athiest to feel left out of patriotism? These words are not original to the pledge.

A Bible in school? I have never heard of a school refusing a student the right to their bible. Show me that story and I will spread the word to help that student too.

This young lady was not forcing anyone to change their ideas on homosexuality. She was not forcing anything on anyone. Who she brought to be her date should have no more impact on anyone than anyone else’s date.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@njnyjobs I didn’t see your edit because ordinarily I don’t go backwards in the question so if you really don’t feel you’re biased, fine And I am taking the relevant facts into consideration – I know what this feels like, I took a girl to the prom, don’t bs me about laying low and not rocking the boat – if we don’t, then who will?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Nullo there is no reason to drag religion into this discussion…not being able to carry around the bible is not the same as not being able to be accepted for one’s sexuality…and it’s offensive that you’d even stick that into the same category

MrItty's avatar

@njnyjobs You just compared being gay to “acting stupid and bitchy”. And you’re claiming you’re not biased or bigot ted? Right.

zephyr826's avatar

This is a difficult discussion to read through – first because I’m frustrated by the occurrence, and the fact that I could see it happening in the school where I teach. When I was in high school (2001) in the suburbs of Chicago, you could only buy tickets as a couple, and all couples had to be boy-girl. There was no regulation on clothes, as long as they were formal btw what’s up with that? I feel bad for not having even considered what it was like for homosexual students at my high school. It worries me that it still carries on, and not only in the Deep South. We have to watch out for these things.

The second reason I’m frustrated is because of the tone of the discussion. I appreciate @Shae bringing it up in the first place, and including contact information for the parties involved. I agree that we should take a stance against injustice. But I worry that persecuting other members of the community, even when we disagree with their opinions, does not further the cause of tolerance and understanding. OK, I’m done preaching. Sorry.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@Nullo I think it’s pretty pointless to say that they are doing something incorrectly about “prayer in school” to boil down your argument so “screw the homosexuals” too. That’s a silly way to argue as the bible thumpery is not a part of this discussion. It’s not bigoted to try to keep religion and education separate – education needs to be separated to function, as it stands, as our beliefs are too diverse. Making choices to cast the religious into a hated group – now that would be discrimination – eg, some Christians decided to wear choir robes to the prom, so we’re canceling it.

augustlan's avatar

@Nullo If we’re going to get into right and wrong here…

You don’t condone homosexuality. Other people don’t condone interracial dating, meat eating, tattoos, or red hair. In fact, many people don’t condone Christianity!

Refusing to allow two students to attend their own prom together because they’re gay is no different that refusing to allow interracial couples, students that aren’t vegetarians, those with tattoos, redheads or Christians to attend. Would that be ‘right’? Discrimination is wrong. Period.

Shae's avatar

@augustlan for the WIN!!!!!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Nullo all right now that yoga has pacified me this evening and I don’t want to rip the heads off your words, here’s something interesting…if your teenage daughter wanted to take a bible dressed in a little tuxedo to the prom, I would totally support her

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre bwaahhha..you spent like 10 minutes of your atheist life on this…cra-zy!

tinyfaery's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre You said “if your teenage daughter wanted to take a bible dressed in a little tuxedo to the prom, I would totally support her”. Hahahaha.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@tinyfaery that was me but it is confusing now that we both have the same avatar – either way I accept, :)

FutureMemory's avatar

Can someone point me to the “I basically disagree with everything Nullo said” section, please?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@FutureMemory I’m thinking you are here now, welcome…enjoy our new avatar

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

Ah, it’s always a good day when I can use GIMP to plop a Bible and a tuxedo together…

Nullo's avatar

That’s it, bring on the hate! I swear, you so much as step out of line and the jellies frenzy.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
@Nullo they can run it however they like but they don’t have to discriminate against people based on their sexuality or gender expression – that is bigoted and if you support that, you are bigoted. And yeah, congrats on really ‘sticking to your guns’ on this one.
I dunno, maybe they do. Let me ask you: is the gardener who plants sunflowers but not tulips a bigot?
If you are being sincere in your admiration of my consistency, then I thank you. If not, consider: what good is a conviction if you don’t stick with it?
And in response to your line about boat-rocking: who’s to say that things should change?

there is no reason to drag religion into this discussion…not being able to carry around the bible is not the same as not being able to be accepted for one’s sexuality…and it’s offensive that you’d even stick that into the same category.
I threw it in to express my displeasure with the double-standards that I see in society. The trend seems to be “traditional/Christian/Conservative BAD, anti-traditional/Atheist/Liberal GOOD, lets crush the dissenters,” and it bugs me. They’re both about some kind of intolerance, right? Ergo, same category.

@DominicX
Being intolerant of differences, i.e. not allowing people of a different sexuality to attend = bigotry.
I ask you the same question as I did Simone.

You can not condone homosexuality all you like, but this is discrimination based on bigotry. Not condoning homosexuality in itself does not make you a bigot, but discriminating against them does make you a bigot.
What good are convictions that do not manifest?

Praying and having a Bible are individual things so of course they should be allowed to do/have them.
I agree, but apparently there are schools that do not.

People shouldn’t be forced to pray by the school, however.
Not saying that they are; I’m referring to the kids who want to pray, and are not permitted.

“Under God” is different. That forces people to say something that they don’t believe in. (There are stories of kids getting in trouble for not saying the Pledge).
And there are stories of kids who are allowed to not say the Pledge.

You’re not forced to look at the lesbian couple if their very existence bothers you so much.
Near as I can tell, the school merely didn’t permit the girls to go as lesbians; in that case, forgoing the tux ought to have done the trick.

@Nullo Here is the difference. The Valictorian can pray to alone to thier God anytime they feel like at at graduation. Graduation is not cancelled b/c a Christian wants to attend and guess what he/she can even invite thier pastor. BUT standing before the entire student body and forcing them to listen to your prayer is not right.
Gee, it didn’t used to be a controversial matter. Heck, a valedictory prayer was a freakin’ tradition.
The school wanted to show their support for traditional marriage and values.

Forcing everyone to listen to a song about worshiping Mary at graduation is not right.
The case that I was thinking of concerned a girl who was asked to play the piano as part of the festivites. “Ave Maria” is a common title in classical music selections (ask @DominicX, he’s a classical buff) and a favorite of millions even without words; all the same, they stopped her performance.

Under God in the pledge, Why would you want an athiest to feel left out of patriotism? These words are not original to the pledge.
An atheist could, you know, not say ‘em.

A Bible in school? I have never heard of a school refusing a student the right to their bible. Show me that story and I will spread the word to help that student too.
My reference was hearsay; when I find the story in question, I will be sure to inform you.

This young lady was not forcing anyone to change their ideas on homosexuality.
One cannot force another to chance his mind. However, one can make the attempt.

She was not forcing anything on anyone.
She was trying to force her views – that open homosexualiy ought to be permitted and accepted.

@JeanPaulSartre
It’s not bigoted to try to keep religion and education separate – education needs to be separated to function, as it stands, as our beliefs are too diverse.
I was referring to student activies, sir.

@augustlan
You don’t condone homosexuality. Other people don’t condone interracial dating, meat eating, tattoos, or red hair. In fact, many people don’t condone Christianity!
Refusing to allow two students to attend their own prom together because they’re gay is no different that refusing to allow interracial couples, students that aren’t vegetarians, those with tattoos, redheads or Christians to attend. Would that be ‘right’? Discrimination is wrong. Period.

So you’re saying that we have no standard for judging right and wrong. Then what the fnord are we doing with any kind of criminal justice system?

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@Nullo but this is the faculty bringing down punishment on a lesbian for being a lesbian.

tinyfaery's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Oh, shit. Haha. Kudos to you.

Shae's avatar

I always love when people bring up tradition.

It is tradtion in some places to take a young girl forcably spread and hold her legs open while somone uses a razor blade to cut her clitoris off, cut her labia off and sew up the opening to her vargina so a man one day will want to marry her.

It use to be a tradition that when a young women was married that her family would include her Mammy as part of her dowry.

It use to be a tradition that young boys would have an older man as a mentor to guide him in his eduction and use him for sex.

Traditions don’t they just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

DominicX's avatar

@Nullo

What good are convictions that do not manifest?

There’s a difference between believing something and forcing your belief on other people and using it to discriminate against people. The latter is bigotry. The people who believed homosexuality was wrong were doing just that here. A bigot is someone who is openly intolerant of differing opinions from their own. Anyone who discriminates against someone because of their sexual orientation (such as not allowing them to go to the prom) is a bigot.

Near as I can tell, the school merely didn’t permit the girls to go as lesbians; in that case, forgoing the tux ought to have done the trick.

And this would have been an allowance of discrimination and the girl fought against it. More power to her. She is not being treated as an equal to the other kids attending the prom; hence: discrimination.

She was trying to force her views – that open homosexuality ought to be permitted and accepted.

She was trying to be treated the same way as the other kids were being treated. No one at the prom was being made to change their beliefs about homosexuality. Their beliefs could still hold true throughout the entire dance. Furthermore, the reasons for being against homosexuality being in the open are religious in nature, no? This is not a religious-based school. If this were a religious private school, it would be a different matter. It is not. It is a public school that does not uphold the teachings of any particular religion. But being in Mississippi, the majority of the people are probably Christian and that would add to their denying her wish to go to the prom with her girlfriend. I believe in separation of church and state. They were not being separated here, they were being fundamentally intertwined. On a legal basis, a person should be treated as an equal. That was not being done here.

So you’re saying that we have no standard for judging right and wrong. Then what the fnord are we doing with any kind of criminal justice system?

What makes one person’s definition of “right” and “wrong” more valid than another person’s? Just as some are opposed to homosexuality and believe it is wrong, some are opposed to interracial dating and believe it is wrong. Why should we honor one person’s definition of right and wrong over another? Look at crimes: murder, theft, assault, vandalism, etc. They do damage to another person, a person’s property, or the environment. Homosexuality does not do that. Like I said, if you don’t want to condone homosexuality, fine, no one is saying you have to. But this is a non-religious school and they should be committed to not discriminating, but they failed in that respect. I would’ve done the exact same that this girl did and as I said before: more power to her.

There’s a fundamental difference here. A person who is against homosexuality who wants their opinion heard will want to see it in action in the form of people being treated as non-equals and being discriminated against (such as being denied entrance to a prom). A person who is for homosexuality who wants their opinion heard will want to see it in action in the form of people being treated equally and not discriminated against. While both are putting your opinion out there, one of them is taking away and one of them is adding. They are simply not the same thing.

augustlan's avatar

@Nullo You said: So you’re saying that we have no standard for judging right and wrong. Then what the fnord are we doing with any kind of criminal justice system?

Your idea of ‘right’ is different than others. What makes yours the ‘right’? And no matter how you look at it… discrimination against human beings is wrong. The flowers do not care.

zephyr826's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre I just wanted to point out that the faculty is not the same as the school board. I’m sure that there are many members of the faculty who would support her but don’t feel comfortable putting their non-tenured jobs on the line. I know that our faculty frequently disagrees with decisions made by our school board.

liminal's avatar

@nullo What standard do you suggest for judging right and wrong in this context?

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@zephyr826 That’s probably true – consider me corrected!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Nullo We’re dealing with a particular situation here, we’re not dealing with all sorts of random intolerance. I do not find the bible or religion relevant to the discussion, we have to have some boundaries. As I said, if your kid wanted to take a bible to the prom or wanted to dress like an Archbishop, I’d support them just as well.

keobooks's avatar

I think it’s a bit sad that they specifically had to require that the couples be opposite gender. When I was a kid, MANY girls went to the prom with other girls as their “dates.”

Some girls just wanted to go to prom, but they either couldn’t get a date, or their parents wouldn’t allow them to. Believe it or not, many of the girls I knew who took a girl as their “date” were from super strict religious families and they were forbidden to go out with boys. Since the tickets were sold in pairs, they took a girlfriend with them so they wouldn’t waste a ticket. Most of the girls were straight—I’d say almost all of them were that I knew.

I’ve never seen guys do this, but they are more sensitive about how things look when it comes to that. I did have a friend who took a blow – up doll as his date as a joke, though.

I think people should be allowed to take anyone they want to prom. I think it’s sad that they had to enforce such a stupid rule.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@keobooks thats an interesting bit of history, thanks for that.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Hey guys check this out! This guy’s going to throw her the prom anyway – and you can help!
http://www.tonic.com/article/lets-throw-constance-mcmillen-the-prom-she-deserves/

mammal's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir can i trust these people with the money?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@mammal that’s a good question, I don’t know.

mammal's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir well i’m keen to donate, if you think it’s a good idea that’s good enough for me

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@mammal up to you, I didn’t give any money…that’s cause I don’t have any

liminal's avatar

The Mississippi LGBT Youth organization is co-ordinating a prom alternative. You can donate directly to them: http://mssafeschools.org/

mammal's avatar

@liminal yeah ok they look legitimate
@Simone_De_Beauvoir no, but you give time, energy and moral support

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Well, no, but…

The administrators selected to run public schools are chosen by the school board, which is always an elected body (in my experience, anyway). So the mores of the electorate are more or less represented in the school board, and they hire people they are comfortable with.

So the answer to your question is: “None of us should be homophobic, racist, chauvinistic, myopic, theistic assholes… but apparently a lot still are.” I’m sure this school superintendent has the backing of the majority of her community. I’ll bet she gets letters of support (and job offers) every day.

Which is one of the reasons I don’t think we should support “public education” any more. If I were raising kids these days—mine graduated school some years ago—I wouldn’t want them in a district like that, and I wouldn’t want to pay taxes to support that kind of idiocy, either.

littlefatso's avatar

I’m 65 years old. When I was young, if a girl went to the prom with a girl friend – NOBODY EVEN THOUGHT TO QUESTION HER SEXUALITY! It could have been that she didn’t get asked by a boy or it could have been that she chose to go with a girl fiend because her girl friend didn’t have a date. I think the people who made this cruel and ridiculous decision should be sued and removed from office for stupidity..

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

I just signed a petition to stand with Constance—and condemn the school board’s failure to treat its students with the respect and fairness everyone deserves.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&id=785

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