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jca's avatar

At what point do couples decide it's time to sleep in separate beds permanently?

Asked by jca (36043points) March 14th, 2010

i know of several older couples who sleep in separate beds. what makes older couples decide it’s time to start sleeping separately?

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33 Answers

janbb's avatar

When they can’t sleep together any more. Really; snoring, sleep apnea, hot flashes….any number of reasons. Not there yet, but a spare bed does come in handy some nights..

Silhouette's avatar

Snoring, bad backs, sleep patterns, gas, there are many reasons oldsters start sleeping in separate rooms. My best friends parents do it because they can’t stand each other.

janbb's avatar

Let’s do dinner. I’ll bring the wine, you bring the “a au p”.

HTDC's avatar

My parents started sleeping in separate beds a couple years after they got married. Not only that, but they sleep in different rooms too. My father thought my mother’s snoring was unbearable.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t know – I’ll tell ya when we get there. Right now we sometimes sleep separately for a part of the night because the baby’s teething and I need some semblance of sleep before work. And that way when the oldest wakes up, I’m closer to his room and can tell him what to do without him running around the entire apartment – since he wakes up earliest, he’s then less likely to disturb my husband and the baby if I’m right here in the next room.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, things change for people, couples as they get older, or their relationship gets old. lol

If it is about health issues or occasional separate rooms for other reasons and the relationship is still viable and loving, no big deal.

If it is because two people can’t stand each other anymore, well, get a divorce!

It is sad how many people molder away in dead relationships out of fear, inertia, habit, dependancy issues.

Talk about a fate worse than death! haha

coogan's avatar

My religion teach slept in a different room than his wife because she couldn’t conceive and he didn’t want the temptation…I just thought he was gay (seriously had a case of hip swish and limp wrist).

prolificus's avatar

My dad solved the “problem” for almost a decade while purposely working the overnight shift 7-nights a week.

After he retired, my folks got separate beds. I really don’t want to know the reason why. What my folks do or don’t do in their bedroom is their business!

Just_Justine's avatar

snoring! my sleep is so important else I am a rat bag all day. :)

galileogirl's avatar

My parents slept in twin beds from the time we 1st lived in a house. They had been married 6 years and had 3 children. It may have been because they both worked changing shifts or because there were always babies to attend or because they just needed a good night’s sleep. It didn’t seem their relationship mouldered or died because they had 3 more children in the next 7 years. Then came the pill or there might have been twice as many of us.

phillis's avatar

I can’t sleep without low-level noise, or I will continuously think, but my husband can’t sleep with low-level noise. He sometimes sleeps in a different room if he isn’t getting the sleep he needs to function the next day.

My grandparents, on the other hand, still sleep in the same room, despite my grandfather’s snoring that shakes the rafters. Each couple decides for themselves how best to handle the situation. I know that some older couples no longer require sex to bond them, so it does not adversely affect thier relationship if they aren’t sleeping in the same bed (although, sleeping together bonds people, too).

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Just_Justine What exactly is a rat bag?

Just_Justine's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe me in my “give the lion a chop mood?”

Pandora's avatar

@coogan Oh, he’s gay!! LOL

ucme's avatar

The incessant farting i’d imagine.

partyparty's avatar

S-n-o-o-o-o-r-i-n-g !!!

Just_Justine's avatar

@ucme speak for yourself heh heh

ucme's avatar

@Just_Justine As I said “i’d imagine“Ha Ha.

Just_Justine's avatar

@ucme yeah yeah holds nose loll

Just_Justine's avatar

Are we allowed to answer twice?? anyway it’s not only older couples. My ex hubby’s wife is 24 and sleeps in her own room. He is a snorer loll.

ucme's avatar

@Just_Justine If that unfortunate situation should ever arise, i’m sure i’d insist on seperate rooms never mind beds,pewwww ;¬}

Just_Justine's avatar

@ucme lets be progressive and creative? separate houses?? loll poof

ucme's avatar

@Just_Justine A touch extravagant not to say an expensive solution.A cheaper way would be to stick a cork up the offending butt.Yay, a conversation revolving around the bottom burp.Who’d a thunk?

Coloma's avatar

Thats my idea of a great relationship these days…20 acres, two houses and a picnic table in between!

Recently I came home to find my handymans work boots in my garage…almost had a seizure! The fear was palpable!


No boots in my space! lolololol

aprilsimnel's avatar

I had a relationship where I needed a separate room to sleep. His snoring was on par with an engine from a 747. We ended up breaking it off for other reasons.

thriftymaid's avatar

Different for different people. Sometimes a health condition encourages this. Some couples just don’t like sleeping together (I’ve read this). I recently read an article that said men really like sleeping alone and that they rest better that way.

Coloma's avatar

I agree.

I think I sleep best with something less than 10% of my body mass, like my cat! lololol

galileogirl's avatar

Blanket grabbing fresh air fiend SO

Fernspider's avatar

Argh, roll together! I have been seriously considering buying a spare bed due to sleep issues and back pain I can only attribute to roll together.

This has been an ongoing problem due to the fact that my partner is 30kg’s heavier than me.

We bought an expensive bed with independant flexislats – with different weight threshold slats – and this hasn’t really helped. I feel like the mattress is sinking in his direction. Drives me nuts!

** I didn’t sleep well last night, ok!!! **

YARNLADY's avatar

I can’t answer for other people. What we did was buy a giant king size bed, and that solved our issues. I hear his snores as music to my ears, so that’s not an issue.

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