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joscketSeper's avatar

How do I approach Women and meet Women when I have no experience from childhood?

Asked by joscketSeper (323points) March 15th, 2010

The only way i’ve managed to meet women so far and befriend them is through the internet. like craiglist or through a meeting arranged by a school. More specifically, I’ve only met and befriended foreign students specically Asian. For me meeting asian women is sooo much easier especially if they are shy, because I’m shy. Most American or latinas or europeans that i’ve seen around are aggresive, so as a shy guy, i avoid them cause what’s the point..they won’t have any interest in me.

The asians that i met, are nice and quiet and they are interested( especially the ones that don’t speak English that well). That’s why i made 2 great friends and they are still my friends even though they already returned to their countries.

But that’s Asian calm/quiet women. But since I’m American, i would also like to meet American women. All throught my school life, I’ve yet to see any American or latina who is calm and quiet…so it’s really scary to just approach them cause i don’t match up to the kind of guys they like to meet.( outgoing, confident guys) and then i suck at speaking so they’ll just think i’m a stupid shy guy who is desperate.

Also, just meeting anykind of Woman, doing it on the street with strangers is scary and also Women dont like guys who approach them like that. They have told me( in forums) that that makes me look like a stalker. So, is the only way to meet Women in a natural way to go to some dance class or something like that?

But most of those things cost money. so…what activities are there that are free..and with high probability of meeting Women?

Many guys who were confident and outgong in their childhood( like for example all of my classmates), never had problems so for them meeting women was not such a challenge. But i never had friends much less female friends in my childhood.

I’m male in my 30’s . thanks.

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13 Answers

ninjacolin's avatar

Oh you have no experience? Guess what you have to acquire then. :)

Rarebear's avatar

The absolute best thing you can do is get off the computer and join some clubs or interest groups, such as a Sierra Club Singles or something like that.

susanc's avatar

Maybe the volunteer-work angle would be good. It doesn’t cost anything, and if there’s some kind of service you’d like to provide, it will put you near other people who have the same ideas. Also, most volunteer work requires/offers some training. Meeting people in a serious context like that might be less alarming for a beginner.

pkuttner's avatar

Go on and sign up for some groups that are focused on your interests. They have groups for EVERYTHING (sports, coffee, gamers, hiking, dog-owners, etc.). FInd a group that has a lot of members and then join. When you go just say that you are there to meet people and ask the women a lot of questions about themselves.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

You asked a nearly identical question just the other day.

joscketSeper's avatar

Dr lawerence, maybe a bit identircal but this one is more about the APPROACH and how to meet someone .

YARNLADY's avatar

The best way would be to take some college classes on developing social skills. Check with your local college. You could also meet them by doing volunteer work at the food bank, or various other places.

lillycoyote's avatar

I don’t know. Being in school or just taking classes is one of the very best ways to meet people, people of the opposite sex and you seem to have already done that. Just getting involved in some group or activity or cause that interests you is good too, because anyone you meet there you already have something in common with. But if you are shy and quiet, and it sounds like you are, then I think it is just going to be harder for you in general. You’ll probably have to be more patient and wait a little longer to find someone than if you were more social, outgoing and gregarious. There’s nothing wrong with being the way you are and with wanting to find someone like you, but it may just take a little longer.

escapedone7's avatar

Group therapy is a great way to meet other people and practice social skills.

Nullo's avatar

I suggest that you work on social interactions in general first.
Some of the best conversations that I’ve had were a result of just talking to people that I found myself sharing space with.
Public transit is a good place for spontaneous conversation. The best part is, once you part ways you will never see them again, so faux pas sting less.

JeffVader's avatar

You know what….. no-one has any experience until they try. & practice makes perfect.

stardust's avatar

You really are mad to meet a lady-friend aren’t you? ;) well, as has already been mnetioned by @Rarebear getting off the computer & venturing out into the world is a start.
What have you got to lose? Go for it.

CMaz's avatar

Just follow the divining rod you carry in your trousers.

Sometimes the other head does give advise worth understanding.

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