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kendra08's avatar

Guy problems!!!!!!!! HELP

Asked by kendra08 (21points) March 8th, 2008

Ok, so every boyfriend i’ve had has always been really mean to me, and then i started going out with this guy, its been 8 months now, and he was really nice in the beginning and now he’s a jerk, like really, really mean. And whenever my best friend comes around he always makes me smile, and laugh, and he looks at like I’m perfection, and I absolutley LOVE that. So now all I think about is my best friend, he’s everything that I love, and I’m starting to get feelings for him. But my current boyfriend is begging me not to leave him, and saying that he will change. What should i do?????

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31 Answers

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lillady604332000's avatar

You should do what you think is the rite thing for you… Saying that he is going to change doesn’t count… He needs to show you that he has changed… As for your best friend… Does he know you have feelings for him???

kendra08's avatar

your right… saying he’s going to change, doesn’t mean that he will. No my best friend doesn’t know, I think I’m going to tell him.

cake7's avatar

I would leave. I’ve been there with the dead beat boyfriend. They never change and if the they do it doesnt take long for them to go back to their old ways.

lillady604332000's avatar

yea the best thing is to get it off your chest… Hey you never know… He might have feelings for you too…

kendra08's avatar

yeah, I’m going to tell him how i feel, and maybe it is the best thing for me to leave my current boyfriend

cake7's avatar

yeah I think that’s probably best but if you really have feelings for him and you feel bad that you want to leave him sometimes that makes you stay in a unhappy relationship for longer.

kendra08's avatar

omg your right, thats what happened with me in my past relationship. and it was a really bad experience in that relationship.

Zaku's avatar

Ask yourself if you want to keep having jerks in your life, or if you are willing to face and get over what it is about you that has you creating bad relationships for yourself, so you can stop the cycle. By creating, I mean you are either choosing jerks, or getting nice guys to act like jerks towards you. To figure it out, you will need to be honest with yourself about something you’ll probably be unable to see and will be afraid, insulted, and/or denying really is true about you.

jcs007's avatar

Maybe you should ask yourself the opposite question: why shouldn’t you leave him.

vandykenf3's avatar

Leaving is the best option in my opinion.

flowerchild's avatar

I would leave. chances are he is not going to change. they never do.

Valhalla30's avatar

leave the jerk. He won’t change, believe that! Follow your heart & what makes you feel happy. Life is too short to waste your time on someone who treats you badly & doesnt respect you. Best of luck!

boffin's avatar

To quote Dr. Phil here…“The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior”....

scamp's avatar

Ahhh, so now I see whay you posted this!

Whether or not you are interested in another guy, you need to dump the jerk. He will only get worse, not better. Just keep in mind that the other guy could be nice to you out of concern for the way you are being mistreated, and not have the kind of interest in you that you are hoping for. so prepare yourself for this possibility. But it is absolutely worth giving a try. Dump the bad guy, and spend more time with the good one.. even if it is just as friends. You should be much happier that way.

PupnTaco's avatar

Dump first before you make a move on the BFF.

chloEnak's avatar

you honestly cant listen to these people. its up to you. whats stopping your guy friend to become just like your current boyfriend if you start dating him?

gorillapaws's avatar

You sound like the kind of woman who isn’t single for very long, going from relationship to relationship. The fact that you gravitate towards jerks makes me think that you’ve probably got self-esteem/worth issued that you try to fill with the validation of male attention. It’s just a guess, but it’s a common pattern.

My advice is to leave the current boyfriend and spend some time single, concentrating on improving your self esteem. You should come out of a period of self-reflection and growth in a much better position to start a new relationship with your friend. Just my opinion, based on many assumptions, so please forgive me if I’m way off.

LuckVIII's avatar

best thing to do is leave your current boyfriend but don’t start doing anything with the new guy until you settle down your emotions. If you tend to go from one relationship straight into another you will never be happy. By the way you never really explain how your bf was mean

scamp's avatar

gorillapaws .. Great answer!! I think that’s the best one so far.

Oz_1's avatar

Leave him. If he wanted to change he would have. Any man who loves and respects a woman he loves…would not behave the way this “man” does. Leave before it gets too aggresive.

Oz_1's avatar

oh..and gorillapaws is right. Stay single for a while…don’t rely on “rebound relationships” for a solution…take time out for urself.

MissPriss's avatar

Baby girl youv’e already answered you question!! Your feelings are telling you whats up. Leave him. And get happy and stay fly owwwe!!

Poser's avatar

I concur with gorrilapaws. You’ve got to figure out why you keep getting with jerks. That’ll take some serious soul-searching, but if you’re ever going to find a nice guy (and stay with him) you’ve got to do it. And chances are, you won’t be able to do it while in a relationship.

You ought to leave your current BF—not because there might be a better one around the corner, but because he’s a jerk.

mikeyC's avatar

I think you answered your own question , that guy that treats you right is the “keeper”.

punkrockworld's avatar

Leave him. You want someone that respects you,not someone who treats you like shit.

Miss_Lys's avatar

Go with your guy freind and leave the jerk he should of known he could lose you from the beginning and say u and ur friend dont work out you can find someone better than someone that treats you like crap.

90s_kid's avatar

Person you’re dating now: BLEW IT
Go with the guy friend, Kendra.

rockstar4411's avatar

hey you are just like one of my friends and i always tell her that you make yourself happy and dont let noone tell you other wise because they do not live your life or the problems you have with your bf

Rayvin14's avatar

you should tell him how it is, tell him that you do not like the way he is treating you, and that it needs to change. and if he doesnt change then i would dump him, and wait a couple weeks and date the other guy.

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