General Question

Sloane2024's avatar

Does anyone know what the usual customs & rules are of parents from India that're enforced on their childen when it comes 2 dating?

Asked by Sloane2024 (1879points) March 9th, 2008 from iPhone

my boyfriend is Indian & I am a blonde & fairskinned american. His parents seem 2 like me because I’m smart & very focused on getting into med school, but they don’t seem 2 like the idea of us dating. Jay (my bf) says that race is not an issue with his parents, but, why then, do they not like the idea of ‘us’? I’m a very morally correct girl & we both want to be doctors, so, what’s the problem?

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6 Answers

Mtl_zack's avatar

yeah, i like this girl whose indian and apparently her parents are very taditional, so i dont know what to do. any anthropologists out there?

jz1220's avatar

My female Indian-American friend’s parents want her to not only date an Indian guy, but they want her to date an Indian guy from a certain “caste” or region of India. According to her, certain surnames matter as much as the ethnicity. My friend is very Americanized but still adheres to traditional Indian rules regarding dating and marriage.

ThoopaDan's avatar

I’m almost at the 2 year mark with my Indian girlfriend. Most of her huge family (cousins, aunts and uncles) accepts me though I know a few of the older members have things to say. Her immediate family loves me. I get along with her older brothers very well and her parents are absolutely fantastic to me.

Her father was very open-minded right away; it took her mom a liitle longer. You’ll find it’s the women who are the more religious thus the harder to please if you are non-indian.

However, I chalk my acceptance up to the fact that their eldest son married a white girl. I think that really softened them up.

Hope this helped. It sounds like you guys are a bit younger than I (29) so you may have better luck convincing the parents.

Oz_1's avatar

It depends on each case. I have an Indian friend and her family was intially very strict (you have to marry the same religion, caste etc etc)..but now they are open and said that as long as the guy is honest, hard working and respectful…they are happy for her. It all depends.

I find in general that Indian parents (like all other parents) are very protective of their children and even more of their culture. You have to understand that society and what people think (aka gossip) play a big role and sometimes people give into these things and force strict guidelines upon their children. But nowadays more and more Indian parents are allowing their children to marry outside of their circle as they realise happiness is the most important thing of all. As I said…it all depends on a case by case basis.

If your partner tells his parents what he feels for you and how he wants to stay with you…his parents will listen to him. I know heaps of Indian guys who have married Aussie girls ..and the first step was telling their parents they loved the girl.

known's avatar

Since 12th century parents in India are covertly brainwashing their kids to coerce other children as per the caste hierarchies.
And publicly “pretend” every one is equal.

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