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shego's avatar

What is this weird feeling?

Asked by shego (11083points) April 27th, 2010

I am in a relationship, in which I am very happy in. My boyfriend and I are going to be moving in a place that we can personally call home. But with that thought, I have been having this really weird feeling. It’s nothing bad. But I keep getting a feeling, that even though we are going to be living together, that something is missing. I know it’s not love, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I don’t know if this feeling is just a weird hormonal thing, because I am the only one of my friends who doesn’t have a baby, or expecting. But it is possible that that’s what it is.
However we do plan on getting married, and having children someday, just not now.
What do you think this feeling is?

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17 Answers

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

Just might be your nerves. It sounds like a big step you’re both taking and maybe your boyfriend is feeling it too.

jazmina88's avatar

relax. life happens as it is supposed to. enjoy teh ride. and congratulations.

enjoy each day and see what unfolds. it’s about the journey.

meditation may help

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Moving in together is like a farmer who gets the milk for free before he decides to buy the cow.

He never ends up buying the cow

I bet you are feeling strange about it.

MayBear's avatar

its prolly just nerves.

frolix's avatar

the possibility of having less personal space that you might be worried about? relax, you’ll adapt. And life happens regardless. :)

Factotum's avatar

I think it might be a fear that it might all fall apart and you’ll have to move out. One of the blessings of marriage is that it makes it inconvenient to just quit.

But it’s not magic and people who move in together frequently do get married.

I wish you and him well.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Kind of a safety tip: I advise extreme caution in analogies that connect women and cows.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

It is possible that you don’t feel secure about making such a big step such as moving into a place to live with someone when you have no firm commitment. Longterm plans about marriage and children may assure you or maybe not. I don’t know your age or your stage in live. Are you a student? Do you have your own source of income? All these play a role in your own present and future financial security.

I wish you well. If you tell us more about your situation, we may be better able to understand you situation.

partyparty's avatar

Moving in with your boyfriend is a huge step for you. You won’t have your own space, and perhaps this is worrying you.
Make sure this is what you really want. If it is, then it is quite normal to feel a bit nervous about it.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

It’s giving up your independence and personal space; time alone will be harder to achieve. The commitment of moving in together makes the relationship more complex.

It’s normal in the face of a big decision like this.

Kismet's avatar

I agree with @PandoraBoxx.

This is a huge step for you, not only for your mentality, but also for your relationship.
Relax, try not to think too pessimistically.

This may be one of the best choices you’ve ever made for yourself!

Good luck!

janbb's avatar

It’s interesting to me that you are linking the feelings to your friends who have marraiges and babies; do you wish the relationship were further along before making this step? Or is it anxiety at giving up your privacy and independence? Only you can know what is causing the feeling, but it does seem to be some kind of anxiety at making this change. It’s perfectly normal to feel; I had the mother of all anxiety attacks the day after I got engaged!

nebule's avatar

well… what exactly does the feeling feel like… where do you feel it? does it feel good or indifferent…odd? I know you say it’s not bad…

andreaxjean's avatar

It sounds like anxiety from the thought of being alone and having that privacy… I’m not saying you’re afraid to be alone with him… but maybe you’re nervous/excited to see what it will be like to spend every waking minute with him.

This is just a suggestion, but since you don’t have kids yet, maybe the two of you should get a family pet that can be like having a child.. You’ll still have privacy but you’ll have the companionship of another living being and I don’t know about you but animals always seem to take away my anxiety. =]

Rangie's avatar

@shego Maybe you shouldn’t give up your place just yet. Go and spend some time with him at his place, just like you have moved in. Give it some time, and you will probably find out what the feeling is. If it turns out you are making a mistake, it will be easier to undo if you have a place to return to.

evandad's avatar


Serevaetse's avatar

I am going through a similar thing; I have a boyfriend and we have been looking for places to live together.
While this is exciting, part of me is thinking about all of the ‘what-if’s’
what if we break up?
what if we were happier before we moved in together?
what if we start fighting about things that don’t matter?
what if money becomes an issue?
what if what if what if

Maybe you have a case of the ‘what-if’s’

AnonymousWoman's avatar

It sounds to me like you want something more – like you want (or wanted) to start a family with him.

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