Social Question

dpworkin's avatar

I have an idea for another game. It's called the Backwards Thread. It's not as easy as it looks. Read the details carefully if you want to try it.

Asked by dpworkin (27030points) May 9th, 2010

Once we get this started, you will not respond to the post preceding yours. Instead you will PREspond, so that the thread only makes sense if you start at the bottom and read up. Think carefully before you post, and make sure you know you are doing it right: if you see “The Sun Is Shining”, your answer will be “What’s the weather like?”, not “It is here, too.” Ready? I’ll start:

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189 Answers

dpworkin's avatar

So they all lived happily ever after. The End.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

There was only one thing left to find. The key has been in their family for generations but neither sister ever laid hands on it – this time it was going to happen, no matter what as not only they found the box with the key in it but also the door to unlock. And they did.

janbb's avatar

They had already been to the mountain, discovered the secret fountain and found the clue hidden at its base. They now had to return to the mysterious mansion and search for the last thing.

ucme's avatar

Dick collapsed, the trials & tribulations of a long & indeed exsaspirating day had certainly taken it’s toll. “Chin up” said Fanny almost resigned to her fate. “We must carry on it’s almost dawn”

dpworkin's avatar

He finally had an erection, but when the doorbell rang, the

janbb's avatar

She was so tired of trying to help him get it up all night – that grumpy old man – and

nisse's avatar

The mind splittlingly loud techno music wasn’t doing her any good at all, she tried remembering what he had been saying to her earlier that morning, but it was all in vain. The shrill music constantly brought her back to the saddening reality that…

ucme's avatar

Fanny grew weary at the flaccid member which stared rather pathetically up at her,she was sure it blinked once or twice but alas this was a forlorn hope born of frustration.Twas a cool evening in viagra falls & she wasn’t about to give up on a night that promised so much but until now had delivered so little.A piercing sound cracked the stillness of the moment…

dpworkin's avatar

The club meeting began, but one annoying individual was as limp as fresh dough. People who were perched brightly upright on their

nisse's avatar

It was unusal to have so many members of the Viagra Falls S&M club to accept invitations for Tuesdays. Knowing to expect a crowd, they had been somewhat on edge the whole week, and when the day was finally upon them, he had at least assured her that the entire ordeal would all go well. “Here, ill load the stereo system with Atari teenage riot” he said as he set the stereo timer for 30 minutes, “if nothing else helps this always get’s me going, i have a thing for people screaming in my ear”.

janbb's avatar

Nestor opened the door to the club meeting room and put out the chairs, the couches, the beds, the ties and the whips he expected they would need.

dpworkin's avatar

After Heracles killed Neleus and all of Nestor’s siblings

janbb's avatar

While cleaning out the Augean stables, Heracles got fed up with dealing with horseshit and decided it was probably time to kill some people (mean are like that.) He looked around and saw Neleus and Nestor and his siblings. He knew that Nestor ran this great S&M club so he decided to let him live. Then….

dpworkin's avatar

Oh, look! Here comes @janbb to bog down the backwards thread!

janbb's avatar

(Bringing in Heracles was your idea, boyo, not mine. Oh – and “mean” was meant to be “men”; a Freudian slip)

So @dpworkin was back on Fluther after a short hiatus for more important things and on his first day back he said….

dpworkin's avatar

How did that joke start again?

janbb's avatar

Are we going backwards or forwards now? I’m getting fedredyt!

dpworkin's avatar

Uh-oh, I think @janbb is about to fuck up the Backwards Thread.

janbb's avatar

@dpworkin decided to sabotage his own game for some cheap shots so he said….

(this is in “social” not “general” isn’t it?)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

this has so much potential lol

dpworkin's avatar

What did the electrician say about the capacitor, @Simone_De_Beauvoir?

chels's avatar

and just then @dpworkin asked:

janbb's avatar

@chels was celebrating her engagement and her last day of college when @Simone_De_Beauvoir and @dpworkin came into the room.

chels's avatar

And all was well. Everyone was drinking wine and champagne because

janbb's avatar

It was a wonderful day on Fluther. People were happily answering questions, playing stupid word games, celebrating Mother’s Day

Draconess25's avatar

The birds were singing

dpworkin's avatar

Who did “Hey Mr Tambourine Man”?

bob_'s avatar

You can ask me anything, and I’ll know the answer. Go ahead, try me.

dpworkin's avatar

@bob_ seems to think he’s in a performance of “The 39 Steps”. Let’s listen in…

bob_'s avatar

I hope everybody is enjoying the show. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses! Moving on, @dpworkin will tell us who our next performer is.

dpworkin's avatar

Could it be? It is! It’s Arthur Godfrey! I thought he was dead.

bob_'s avatar

Dude, who’s that?

dpworkin's avatar

Dawg, you look just like Esther Winterwood.

Trance24's avatar

Comment on my appearance.

dpworkin's avatar

Uh-oh, here comes Bossy.

bob_'s avatar

Hey, did anybody hear some noise?

dpworkin's avatar

I hope no one heard that fart.

Trance24's avatar

Those burritos did a number on me….

dpworkin's avatar

Why would anyone slaughter a herd of helpless little mules?

zephyr826's avatar

He looked around him at the destruction, and said to himself:

bob_'s avatar

He thought getting a dog was a good idea, until he came home.

dpworkin's avatar

Typhon was excited about his son, Cerberus.

janbb's avatar

Before his lost his fight with Zeus and was banished below Mt. Etna for eternity…..

dpworkin's avatar

I used to love Mohammad Ali

janbb's avatar

Sugar Ray Robinson once confided in me;

Trance24's avatar

Have you ever met anyone famous?

bob_'s avatar

Other than me

chels's avatar

I have a question..

janbb's avatar

And then Chels stood up and said:

ucme's avatar

Naked neath her scarlet blanket of desire she stopped, pondered for a moment…

Strauss's avatar

He stopped. He got up. He left the room.

ucme's avatar

Had he taken leave of his senses, this poor delusional foolish boy, she was naked I tell you, naked!!! Alas,for reasons known only to himself…

Cruiser's avatar

He threw open the door and did a double take…

bob_'s avatar

He raced from the office to his home.

ucme's avatar

His morbidly obese secretary Mary Hinge, stripped to her underwear beckoning him feverishly. Her chubby little pinky inserted into her bat cave whilst eating a bucket full of doritos.Extremely frightened & not a little disturbed by this horrific vista…

dpworkin's avatar

What happened to Locke on last night’s “Lost” episode?

zephyr826's avatar

Inquiring minds want to know:

dpworkin's avatar

How would you encapsulate Socrates’ teaching methods in five words?

janbb's avatar

The brilliant German Shepherd posed the question:

ucme's avatar

Helmut pondered to himself whilst rounding up his sheep, “what if”....

janbb's avatar

Daisy said to Belle, “Baa! Why is Helmut taking so long rounding us up? Whaaaaht do you think heee’sss doing?”

dpworkin's avatar

Let’s try to be quiet. @janbb is reading Thackeray to her grandchild.

ucme's avatar

An uneasy yet not altogether unwelcome silence descended over the thread.What could this mean?

janbb's avatar

“So Jake, I’d like to begin reading Trollope’s Barchester Towers today. Eleven months old is not too early to start the classics,” Bubby said.

dpworkin's avatar

In this suite, our researchers are studying the ways in which Jewish grandmothers induce early psychopathy in their grandchildren. Care to listen in?

janbb's avatar

Welcome to the the Institute of Fekachteh Psychoanalytic Theory. I think we might be able to join in on a tour that’s starting now.

bob_'s avatar

Yo, what’s this place?

ucme's avatar

Almost unbelievably at that precise moment Mr.Stevie Wonder entered the building.Confused, he remarked…

janbb's avatar

The strains of the Muzak version of “Isn’t She Lovely?” were playing in the entrance hall.

chels's avatar

He heard something but it was hard to make out the sounds until he realized it was

ucme's avatar

Wal mart was particularly busy that morning, he thought…

chels's avatar

“Shit. I need some kitty litter” he said. So in his car he went, on a journey to the nearest open store.

Strauss's avatar

His new pet cat had a full belly, and was looking for a place to do the doo-doo.

ucme's avatar

He awoke to the pungent smell of pussy, “good morning darling sleep well” he mistakenly exclaimed. Unfortunately for him & luckily for his wife the kitty was the culprit on this ocassion, yes…

dpworkin's avatar

Henry Miller, as usual, had been drinking. As Anais Nin tells us,

janbb's avatar

Although she had the reputation of being a narcissistic old bat, she did reveal interesting tidbits about her lovers – old and young.

bob_'s avatar

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl.

chels's avatar

I had seen this woman before but I couldn’t figure out from where. Just then I remembered

dpworkin's avatar

Anyone else with you on Oceanic flight 815?

bob_'s avatar

So, yeah, I’m leaving today.

dpworkin's avatar

Leaving on a jet plane? Don’t know when you’ll be back again?

Pandora's avatar

I dropped of pdworkin at the airport and this is what he said to me as he left for Pakastan to go find al queda to discuss religion.

dpworkin's avatar

And now how about a subtle misuse of grammar and orthography?

janbb's avatar

@dpworkin was cleaning his house and packing his bags prior to his trip to Pakistan but he paused to exclaim:

Cruiser's avatar

With record 2 of his Elvis’s Greatest Hits box record set blasting on his stereo…

dpworkin's avatar

Without record 2 of his, your choice of prizes from the second shelf.

Cruiser's avatar

Not yet fully grasping the significance of this moment as the Carnie spoke those fateful life changing words…

dpworkin's avatar

The Gleason and the Carnie stood on the set of The Honeymooners

janbb's avatar

Nestor knew it really was time for him to leave the fairigrounds and get ready for the meeting but he still had to sell his wife.

dpworkin's avatar

We took @janbb’ s Thackeray, and replaced it with Folger’s Thomas Hardy crystals! Do you think she will notice?

janbb's avatar

Coming out of the Folger Library, @janbb saw a man and exclaimed, “Thomas, I hardy knew ye!”

dpworkin's avatar

Here comes @janbb. I hope she doesn’t get this thread stuck in the mud again.

Cruiser's avatar

Unbeknownst to her as she strolled through the front doors of the Folger library @janbb was being watched…

dpworkin's avatar

… and now, the exciting conclusion of “All Our Librarians”, brought to you by Flabby’s Milquetoast.

janbb's avatar

Flashing her sexy bosom at the surprised patrons, @janbb took off her glasses, let down her hair, turned directly to the television camera and announced….

Cruiser's avatar

Goddammit Roger!! You told me I would get a movie career by now! And you call yourself an agent??!! This is the last time I will do these 2 bit TV jobs now get out of here I have a commercial to do….

janbb's avatar

Roger Ebert had just stopped by the set to talk to his client. He was astounded when she threw a glass of water in his face and yelled…

dpworkin's avatar

Do you think the backwards item will need a kick-start two days from now?

janbb's avatar

@dpworkin was looking to tell a wonderful story so he asked:

Cruiser's avatar

Sitting in his liars anonymous group therapy session…

dpworkin's avatar

Where did you meet Glen Beck?

janbb's avatar

Charlie Rose turned to Osama Bin Laden and asked him:

dpworkin's avatar

In the green room of the Larry King show

ucme's avatar

The guests were getting a little restless.Bin Laden appeared visibly shaken at the notion that Rose desired him sexually & wouldn’t mind playing out such a fantasy right there…

zephyr826's avatar

Someone had eaten all of the strawberries off the fruit plate. It was the third hour of the network delay for emergency coverage of the first nationwide lumber sports day, and…

Cruiser's avatar

This was the moment he had been waiting for as she knowingly smiled at him as she bit into the strawberry he held in his fingers not yet realizing

dpworkin's avatar

He had brought the tarp, the ropes, the knives, the pliers, the scalpels, the blindfold, she was beside him in the van,

janbb's avatar

As he drove the Ford Bronco deep in to the woods with her at his side, he quickly reviewed the procedure and the equipment he needed.

dpworkin's avatar

And now another episode of Dr. Bob, Frontier Proctologist. Brought to you by Anusoft Medicated Pads.

janbb's avatar

Since there was nothing else to do on Friday morning and she was tired of Fluthering, @janbb turned on the t.v.

Cruiser's avatar

After hanging up the phone with her bookie and

dpworkin's avatar

She had a habit of speaking to pamphlets on the wireless telephone.

ucme's avatar

Bored & evidently a little drawn by now, she decided to call her dear Belgian friend Pam Phlets…

Cruiser's avatar

After closing the front door after the last of her all night party guests who were helping her celebrate her Pampered Chef salesman of the year award, Janbb was

Strauss's avatar

“Bye!” “See ya later!” “Nice party, @janbb !” “man, I can hardly walk!”

dpworkin's avatar

Let’s throw this fucker on out of here.

Strauss's avatar

“Uh-oh!” he exclaimed, “Arthur Godfrey’s dead!”

dpworkin's avatar

While showing some B-list celebs some tricks with his revolver, he accidentally pulled the trigger.

janbb's avatar

Dr. Freud was trying to explain the meaning of dreams to his audience. As an example of one, he pulled out his gun,

dpworkin's avatar

How did Sigmund get busted for public exposure?

janbb's avatar

The haute monde in Vienna were all abuzz that morning -

dpworkin's avatar

“Haute monde” means “Bees” in the Austrian dialect.

janbb's avatar

In an attempt to show his pedagoguey and disdain for literary stylings, the recent graduate stated:

dpworkin's avatar

Look! There’s a guy over there what fucks children and hates poetry!

janbb's avatar

Dick Cheney went out for a cup of coffee and someone shouted.

dpworkin's avatar

What was the plot of the movie “Shoot The Piano Player”?

janbb's avatar

Jules et Jim were sitting around talking about cinema and Jules asked Jim:

dpworkin's avatar

Has this turned into a two-person game? Let’s find out:

Cruiser's avatar

John, finally realizing the late hour and the grilling he will get when he gets home….folds his cards, says “I’m out, you two can finish this game” and pushes back from the table to leave…

Draconess25's avatar

It was getting dark outside.

dpworkin's avatar

Was it an eclipse? Was it a thunderstorm? Was it merely becoming late evening? At any rate

janbb's avatar

While dealing the next hand of cards, John looked out the window and was shocked to see how dark the sky had become.

dpworkin's avatar

John owned a small card dealership, and had suffered during the recession, but now it seemed he had two customers in a row! As the first couple drove off in their new hand, and

Strauss's avatar

Well, okay. I’ll tell you what happened.

dpworkin's avatar

@janbb won’t tell me what happened.

Cruiser's avatar

Realizing she would have to explain the stain on her dress, she was determined to make it look like an accident…

janbb's avatar

After her last encounter with Bill Clinton in his office,

Cruiser's avatar

If smelling like cigars wasn’t bad enough,

dpworkin's avatar

It’s not so easy being Groucho. You have to stride around kind of stooped over, as

janbb's avatar

Margaret Dumont n her new tell-all biography revealed:

Strauss's avatar

“He wasn’t stupid, just a little bent over,” said…

Cruiser's avatar

Ms Dumont the best selling author of the children’s book The Texidor’s Twinge is quoted as saying…

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

“Smack my ass and call me Sally!!”

ucme's avatar

Geronimo appeared as if from nowhere & asked his squaw Miss Two Trees what she thought of recent events.She looked scornfully at him & said…

dpworkin's avatar

How did Geronimo look to you?

ucme's avatar

Whilst enjoying the sights & sounds of downtown La Paz, Butch turned to Sundance & remarked inquisitively…

janbb's avatar

“Who are those guys?” said one of the gauchos to another, looking at the two tall Americans on the plaza.

ucme's avatar

“The tall guy on the left looks like he’s a bit of a ladies man” said one, rather envious of the americano’s immaculate moustache.“Yeah & the other one is carrying a jar of salad dressing” remarked the other. “strange but….

janbb's avatar

It had been a quiet day so far in La Paz. A burro was tied to the railing; the tacqueria wasn’t crowded yet. Suddenly, two gringos rode into town and dismounted from their bicycles. Two gauchos stood watching from the corner of the central square.

Cruiser's avatar

Finally pulling into town reaching their first tour destination, the busload from St. Alphonso’s parish in San Antonio piled off the bus.

Strauss's avatar

Well, the fur-trapper stood there, with his arms outstretched across the
Frozen white wasteland, trying to figure out what he was going to do about
His deflicted eyes. and it was at that precise moment that he remembered
And ancient eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that
They write it on up there) that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named
Nanook,
The only way you can get it fixed up is to go

Trudging across the tundra
Mile after mile
Trudging across the tundra

Right down to (the pancake breakfast at) the parish of St. Alphonso.

props to Frank Zappa

Cruiser's avatar

Feeling kind of bad for rubbing that mitten full of the deadly yellow ice crystals in his face but he did what he had to do when the fur-trapper jumped up from behind the igloo and yelled “peek-a-boo” but Nanook hated surprises and today was no different.

dpworkin's avatar

Can you give me a brief precis of the plot of “Nanook Rubs It”?

Cruiser's avatar

Sitting at the back of the lecture hall, the blood drained out of Nestors face when he heard the professor call his name….

dpworkin's avatar

Nestor finally developed the nerve to take a mythology class. What would he discover about his mom and dad, Neleus and Chloris, and all of his murdered siblings?

janbb's avatar

Since his talk therapy with Dr. Freud wasn’t proving any use in rooting out his deepseated traumas,

dpworkin's avatar

I was worried about my Trauma and Truffle hunting pig.

janbb's avatar

Babe wasn’t up to snuff anymore, instead of rooting at my unconscious and all the truffles I’ve seen, she lay on her belly near the fire with her eyes closed.

Cruiser's avatar

Realizing that ever since that traumatic episode behind the bard when he was 10 years old and that sharing a bed with the farm animals was now affecting them too…Nestor decided maybe it was time to get help.

dpworkin's avatar

Have you ever visited the Barn of Avon?

janbb's avatar

“I’ve heard it was mulch ado about nothing,” she said, “but hay,

Cruiser's avatar

Nestor realized he was getting nowhere with his conversation with Gloria about Organic Methods of raising Brassica oleracea when she replied…

zephyr826's avatar

Gloria responded, “Oh, isn’t this just a marvy party?”

janbb's avatar

Nestor and Gloria had gone to the Barn of Avon’s Midsummer Night’s Ball.

Cruiser's avatar

“That rat bastard” Judy screamed when she found out he was not working late like he said but that her husband

janbb's avatar

Judy put down her telescope and came down from the roof.

dpworkin's avatar

“Judy!” yelled mom. “If you don’t come down from there this second and help me milk the worms, I’m going to break that thing right over your head!”

janbb's avatar

Judy was so fuckin’ tired of her delusional mother’s demands that she climbed up on the roof to see where Nestor was.

Cruiser's avatar

Newly married and still living at home with her mom in the one room trailer home was getting to her.

dpworkin's avatar

Norma Jean Baker was quite a spectacular looking woman.

janbb's avatar

The National Enquirer reported, “John F. Kennedy came back from the dead to state:

ucme's avatar

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman” (he taught Clinton well) insisted Kennedy.Although the flames were fanned early the next morning when…

dpworkin's avatar

So, hey, didja fuck her?

Cruiser's avatar

Needing to finish interviewing the long deceased President to complete his homework assignment Tommy asked…

dpworkin's avatar

Mr. Peabody took his boy Sherman and a new friend back to see president Garfield in the White House.

Cruiser's avatar

Using his high security clearance on his day off, Jack Bauer and his next door neighbor

dpworkin's avatar

What’s the plot of “Two Girls, One Cup”?

stratman37's avatar

Scorcese once said: “Every popular film has a plot”

dpworkin's avatar

What was Marty like when you got him drunk?

ucme's avatar

A quizzical & yet not altogether suprised look fell on the face of a clearly amused De Niro.He asked Pesci…

dpworkin's avatar

Johann De Niro and his fishy companion had not gotten very far on their journey before

Cruiser's avatar

Hanging on for dear life on the back of the moped on their annual cross country ride

dpworkin's avatar

After 10 years on death row, it was time for the

ucme's avatar

By now he was at his wits end.Being at the whim of a madman & not having the remotest sniff of pussy does that to a man.Grimly he plucked up the courage.He steadfastly resolved that…

dpworkin's avatar

Still catless, and on all fours, he regarded Dr. Mesmer thoughtfully.

janbb's avatar

Siegfried had had enough of Roy and the tigers so he left Vegas and went to a hypnotist to get cured of his obsessions.

dpworkin's avatar

So the Real Housewives of New Jersey left Sieglunde out of their Wagner presentation? How else did they change the libretto?

janbb's avatar

She overheard the conversation at the next table at Momofuko and one guy was saying loudly to his companions:

Strauss's avatar

“Oye moye mia!” she gasped to herself as…

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