Social Question

MissAnthrope's avatar

Why is it that men openly adjusting/grabbing themselves in public is socially acceptable?

Asked by MissAnthrope (21460points) June 20th, 2010

I get that dangly bits need adjusting. I sometimes have to adjust my bra and my boobs, but you know, I try to do it surreptitiously. I am shocked sometimes at how openly the dick-tugging happens and that no one seems to bat an eyelash. I find it really gross and somewhat offensive. I mean, where are manners if you can just openly tug your junk in public?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

mrentropy's avatar

Got me swinging. That’s why I don’t watch it. Men, anyway. I have no problem with a woman adjusting herself.

talljasperman's avatar

Men belive in Freedom…. Freedom

zenele's avatar

It isn’t.

Edit: tug your junk, as an expression, is worse than adjusting it in public.

James_Mal's avatar

Since when was it? I have suppressed many an itch!

MissAnthrope's avatar

@zenele – I know what you mean, and I don’t mean that, but lately I’ve seen so many guys like full-out tug it to adjust it. Nothing subtle, no quick twinge to get things in place.

Facade's avatar

Because it’s ok if men are uncouth~

DominicX's avatar

I haven’t noticed that. If I have to do that, I certainly wouldn’t do it in public view not only because it’s rude, but because I’d be embarrassed.

meagan's avatar

I think every time a man does this, his “dangly bits” should be cut off and displayed to the public.
Seriously. This disgusts me. Then it makes me think, I hope he isn’t going to shake anyone’s hand. What is he going to touch? Have I been touching things that these men have been touching, etc.

shezablonde's avatar

It is NOT NOT NOT OK and men with manners do that privately.
It’s DISGUSTING that some women have NO GUTS and refuse
to let others know it’s NOT ACCEPTABLE.
Men who are worth being with,who are not “hopped up on something”
or whatever simply do not act this way honey.
ok,I’m on my soapbox..but remember ,life is about choices and
some are not to be put up with !

tinyfaery's avatar

I asked this back in 2008. Here are some good responses. Link.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@tinyfaery – My bad. I actually had a vague recollection of this, and actually participated in said discussion, but a search turned up nothing.

I’m still appalled, though.

tinyfaery's avatar

You would never find it in a search. It’s nice to get a 2010 point of view.

Sarcasm's avatar

I see women adjust their bra and other bits of clothing all of the time.

How is it gross, though? It gets uncomfortable. Should people sit their in their discomfort all day?

meagan's avatar

@Sarcasm We don’t keep our nuts in our bra.
You know what else is uncomfortable?

Aster's avatar

They want you to know what class they’re in because they’re proud to be a hillbilly, gangster or cowboy type. That’s why you won’t see men in the White House doing it , you wont see ministers doing it, you won’t see your surgeon doing it. Those guys go in the restroom to do it.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@Sarcasm – I’m not talking about a quick tug of clothing or whatever. I, myself, am guilty of that, but I am embarrassed about adjusting my boobs in front of people, and try to keep that in check in front of others. I am talking a no-shame, full-out, dick-grab that lasts more than a second.

I really want to lean in and say Don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere.

reverie's avatar

Honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all, and I can’t personally imagine being offended by it. I can see why in our society people might find it unusual, because we tend to do everything involving genitalia in private, but if that isn’t practical or it’ll take literally two seconds to sort things out and be comfortable, I don’t see anything wrong with someone doing that in public. If a body part is uncomfortable and someone needs to adjust it, then they should just get on with it and do that, and I really couldn’t care less if it happens to be a part that is associated with sex or waste disposal. I’d sooner someone attend to something real like physical discomfort than care about something socially constructed and artificial, and sit there uncomfortable, because it’s considered “rude”, “offensive” or “inappropriate” or to draw any attention whatsoever to your genitalia in public. It seems even more ridiculous, because in most situations I can always just avert my eyes if the behaviour did happen to offend me – I’d sooner that than some poor chap have his ballsack stuck to his leg on a hot day or some woman have her boobs chafed by her bra.

Just out of interest, why do people think it is “gross” to touch your penis, testicles or breasts because they are uncomfortable, if you are in a place where other people might be able to see? I’m not trying to be contrary, but I find this really interesting.

Aster's avatar

@reverie It’s good to be open-minded but for you is there a limit? Or would you think Anything in public is alright? For example, if its just fine to adjust your genitalia in public then why wouldn’t you think it was nothing to pull your pants down first and Then do it for better accuracy? And if you accept that, it seems plausible to accept peeing on your neighbor’s mailbox or tree while spitting at the same time? The Fall of Rome is repeating itself. Dignity is extinct. Lets all act like wild animals and shrug it off.

ucme's avatar

Pocket hockey for me is an indoor sport for the large part.Although a quick outdoor shuffle has been known,over in a flash though, nothing to write home about.

Axemusica's avatar

I’m tired of this social construct that genitalia is a “no no” in public. The fact that clothing is already covering it is a sign that it’s no big deal. Why is it only genitalia though? My nose and eye’s constantly are itchy and need scratching, does anyone else find that gross? In fact I would rather have someone adjust their covered with clothing genitalia then have someone scratch their head.

If it itches scratch it. Boda bing boda boom.

Maybe you should have put emphasis on the length of time one would do such things @MissAnthrope to avoid confusion. I myself can do the whole adjustment within the time it takes to spin in a 360 degree. Tangling around much longer is: A wanted attention, B a habit that wasn’t addressed at childhood.

bob_'s avatar

You gotta do what you gotta do.

reverie's avatar

@Aster Sure, because briefly touching a part of your own body to allieviate personal discomfort is exactly the same as deliberately evacuating your own bodily fluids on someone else’s property for no apparent reason…


Aster's avatar

@reverie I never said, “for no apparent reason.” Sometimes we have to bare discomfort for the time being. You just have to use self control.

Riguy's avatar

If I itch somewhere, or am in pain, and I can’t fix it with a quick dance, I’m sorry but certain things just can’t be ignored. I’m not sayin do it in public though. 99% of the places you visit have bathrooms. Take atvantage of one for a change.

DominicX's avatar


Slippery slope argument = fallacy. If we allow people to adjust themselves in public, the next step is public orgies! This is what we call a “slippery slope” where you say “this leads to that, which leads to this, which leads to that” and it gets worse and worse as you slide down the “slope”. However, it’s fallacious to assume that one of those things automatically leads to the next, because there is no evidence that it does and there is no evidence that the people who support one thing support the next thing on the list.

How you got any GAs at all is beyond me…

bob_'s avatar

Whoa, there. Public orgies are frowned upon?

Aster's avatar

@DominicX I didn’t mean one thing leads to another. I said IF he says one thing is fine and cool then why would he not give his approval to something even More vulgar? It was more of a question.
“How you got any GA’s at all is beyond me.” So , it’s beyond you.

Axemusica's avatar

@Aster how is adjusting the pack vulgar? Also, if this one thing was even vaguely considered vulgar, why would something more extreme in the vulgar sense be also considered acceptable? What @DominicX is saying, is that, you don’t compare apples and oranges.

DominicX's avatar


Why would he not? Because they’re not related, that’s why and it’s possible to draw the line somewhere. Assuming you can’t is what makes it a slippery slope.

mrentropy's avatar

If adjusting myself in public means having public orgies, then I’ll start doing it myself.

andrew's avatar

I submit that this is observer bias (though I know that sexual preference muddles this a bit). I, for one, notice women fiddling with straps/thongs/whooozees and whatsits much moreso than men rearranging the ol’ bits.

Plus, there’s the fact that the bits on men are outward facing. Just from a physics perspective.

wundayatta's avatar

It’s not just adjustment. If it were merely adjustment, it wouldn’t bother me so much. What bothers me is that there is a new trend—I think it comes from hip hop or something—where guys walk around cupping their balls. It’s like saying, “mine are so big, I gotta hold them up.” It’s aggressive behavior. The guys are holding their junk for ten seconds or more. It’s a kind of “don’t fuck with me” thing. “I’m bad.” “I’ll mess you up.” “I’m carrying.”

It’s offensive because of it’s attitude. It’s not doing anything related to comfort. It’s about dominance.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@andrew – Just to play devil’s advocate, boobs aren’t outward-facing? Yet, you don’t see women cupping them, or grabbing them, or the type of adjustment that I find offensive in men (which is to say, other than a quick tug of clothing or body parts to make things right).

Aster's avatar

@MissAnthrope They don’t itch but if they Did we wouldn’t scratch.
It’s crude. Either you’re crude or you’re civilized. “Some” guys think it’s cool to be crude. But those guys are not in the White House, not your minister and not your surgeon. And one thing for certain: it won’t change. I can see a guy like Dog the Bounty Hunter doing it.

andrew's avatar

@MissAnthrope Oh, but I do. Especially the strap tugging.

Aster's avatar

I often do the strap pulling. lol But that is not the same thing!

Ron_C's avatar

I think it is disgusting, and disrespectful, just another indication of our decline in civilization. Instead of trying to better the lot of street people, today’s youth are emulating them in mannerisms and dress. Of course if the conservative movement continues, we will all be street people, maybe the kids recognize this are are just preparing for the inevitable.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther