Social Question

MoxieGal's avatar

Is chivalry dead?

Asked by MoxieGal (358points) August 9th, 2010

Opening the door for a lady, helping her into a car, paying for dinner, etc.. Are the days of chivalry really dead? Do some men still do these things for a woman or is it a dying art? Women, do you wish your man was more romantic or can you open your own darn door?

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16 Answers

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

It’s not completely dead. My boyfriend opens the door for me, pays for my dinner, etc. I think it’s really cute. :)

YARNLADY's avatar

No, it just depends on the circumstances. People hold doors for me and I hold doors for them when the need arises. I think the idea that only men practice chivalry is dead.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Chivalry is not dead and chivalry isn’t only for men towards women. True chivalry is towards both sexes. I guess I’ve been fortunate in my choice of guys who are mostly romantic, polite and considerate of me to think of ways to make me most comfortable when we’re together. To me, that’s chivalry.

Frenchfry's avatar

Well my husband still does it but he is old.
His father taught him to do that. Now he passed it on to his son, but it does seem to be not passed down any more. With Women’s lib and such well. I suppose. It’s not yet. I love it when he does.

Seaofclouds's avatar

My husband still does those things, so it’s not dead yet. Our son is starting to do some of them as well.

asm89's avatar

People are driven by incentives

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Not dead, but dying gradually.

DominicX's avatar

Politeness is not dead, and I never want politeness and random acts of kindness to die. But chivalry, the idea that women are weak and need to be protected, this outdated sexist drivel, can die for all I care. I guess this is what I get for being gay and seeing men more in the position of women.

Romance isn’t dead either. If a woman and a man think those things are romantic, then they should go ahead and do them. But it’s this idea that just because I have a penis, I’m expected to hold doors open for women only and treat them like they’re delicate flowers and not do the same for men that is ridiculous to me.

If I do do something like hold a door open for someone, I will do it because I am feeling kind and want to do something kind for someone, not because of their gender.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

Rare, I think, but not dead. It’s a stamp of a true genleman. I was out with a bunch of guy friends one night and one of them refused to let me walk on the outside of the sidewalk. He insisted on staying between me and the road. I thought it was really sweet.

Winters's avatar

Not necessarily, its just that nowadays when we guys act chivalrous, most of the time its either a because we’re in a happy relationship, or we have the hots for the woman in question. In my case, my Mom and Dad tried to make sure that I’d grow up to be a gentleman, so its a bit of habit for me.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Good news! Chivalry is not dead.

* My SO, who claims to be unromantic, holds my hand when we are walking, and he always walks on the side closest to the street.
* My sister’s two young sons always stand next to their chair at the dinner table until all women are seated.
* Two men offered to carry in boxes of books that were being donated to the library when they saw that I was struggling with the weight.
* A year, ago, the car got a flat tire on the interstate. My cell phone was at home, so I was pretty much stuck. A man stopped, loaned me his phone to call AAA, and insisted that he wait with me until the tow truck arrived.
* Even the really rude guy at work holds doors open for people and drops them off at the door instead of having us walk back from the parking spot.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer But….what’s the difference between chivalry and plain old politeness? I’d offer to help carry in books if I saw you struggling. I’d stop for you if you had a flat tire (within reason, as I’m a female) and let you use my phone….I’d even give you a ride somewhere if you needed it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Dutchess_III- Chivalry used to be what we call politeness but with a few flourishes to separate the highest class from the everyone elses.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But…can “chivalry” apply to women too?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Dutchess_III- Sure. An example is me out with a guy friend who is my guest for dinner, I’ll choose a seat to give him the best view of the restaurant unless he has a preferance for say… facing the door which is a typical and “chivalrous man” thing to do. Another example is me as the driver unlocking the passenger door for male or female, as my guest/my passenger then I want them as comfortable as possible and with first chance to get situated in the car or out of the elements.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Dutchess_III Good point. The more I think about it, a chivalrous act would be when someone goes out of their way to do a good deed, versus doing something polite that they were trained to do or just out of basic courtesy. So, in the examples I posted above, let’s scratch out bullets #2 and #4. (I’d like to hold on to #1, if you don’t mind.)

@Neizvestnaya Those are probably good examples that fall under the “polite” category.

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