Social Question

Jude's avatar

For those of you who were able to reconnect with people from high school (years later), were you surprised when you found out which individuals were gay/lesbian/or bi?

Asked by Jude (32134points) August 15th, 2010

Thanks to the almighty(~) Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with a good portion of my former classmates. And, I must say, I’m shocked by a few. Most, no, I pegged them for being gay, but, there were some that were so far into the closet and I never, ever would have suspected…

I’m sure to them, I was one of those individual whom they never thought would be gay.

Anyhow, just curious.

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20 Answers

john65pennington's avatar

This is exactly why i only attended one reunion. i was shocked.

Seaofclouds's avatar

There was one person that shocked me. It wasn’t because of being a lesbian though, it was because she (as I knew her in school) was now going by a different name (a guys name). It was all explained to me when we became friends on Facebook. I understand it and I’m glad he is happy.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Only one person surprised me. Everyone else, I sort of knew.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

No, I haven’t been surprised by anyone…yet. And the bigotry still flows very deep among those I went to school with in the little Southern town I grew up in.

rebbel's avatar

I don’t know many of my class mates any more, but if i would attend a reunion or found them through a social website i would imagine that some of them ‘turned out’ to be gay or lesbian.
Like some percentage of the global population is too.
No, i wouldn’t be surprised by someone’s sexual orientation.

Jude's avatar

“And the bigotry still flows very deep among those I went to school with in the little Southern town I grew up in.”

I hate that…

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

What an interesting question! I’ve been to several of our high school class reunions, and next year will mark 30 years since graduation. None of the classmates who have shown up have mentioned being gay, have shown up with a same-sex partner, or have had a sex change. It’s the same for those that I’ve re-friended on Facebook. Maybe it is due to growing up in a small southern town in the U.S.

loser's avatar

I haven’t been surprised by anyone. However, I’ve sure surprised a few folks!

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@jjmah : I hate it, too.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I went to 3 high schools in four years in 3 different cities. I never went to a reunion. University reunions involve so many people I never met that I don’t bother.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@jjmah My apology for the 2nd response.

The little girl from next door where I grew up made a personal call when she found out I was going to be in town. She is now a grown woman, finishing up medical school and in a relationship with another woman. All of this information was already known because we had become friends on Facebook. We chatted fairly freely while my mother sat on the sideline.

After Deb left, after dinner, and after a glass of wine, my 85 year-old Mom and I had the sex talk. Only this time, it was my turn to attempt to explain the differences in genders.

Blondesjon's avatar

No, I was actually upset that many of the fellas I slept with were able to shrug off the ”@Blondesjon effect”.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I don’t do Facebook. I don’t do reunions….which makes no sense since I was the popular girl. I just ran for my life when I exited. I left skid marks. :) I was exhausted and just wanted my life back. I’ve always been open-minded (which is why the view of that town looked good in my rearview mirror).

My best male friend came out really late in life….for years, I suspected, but never said anything. Was I shocked? No, I was relieved. And from him, I learned of other people from my class/town who were also gay….shocked? Nope.

Honestly, I have always wanted for my classmates to live their lives out the way they wanted…as long as whatever they did made them happy. And I would tell them that, too, but I don’t do reunions and I don’t do Facebook….but I am in touch with the handful of friends that have meant the most to me.

Maybe I’ll make it to my 50th reunion…with my 30 year old Madonna-copied Brazilian beau :) Or I’ll dance the conga with my gay best friend and his 30 year old husband….but that’s a long way off….:) And if half the class comes out by then, I still won’t care…. but…oh honey what a party that will be!!!

Frenchfry's avatar

I have not run into any friends that were gay yet. I don’t keep up but my friend from 8th grade does. She has not told any stories yet. I suspected one fellow, Rob.. He had a very feminine side. He hung around with females.Mostly because guy didn’t want to hang out with him. He was pretty cool and fun. He did my makeup and hair sometimes when we would go out. He always insisted though he was not gay. ...I don’t like too argue.

Haleth's avatar

A lot of people were already out during high school. I’m only five years out, and nobody has come out since then. Maybe young people are becoming more open minded, so it’s less of a big thing to be out during high school or even earlier.

keobooks's avatar

No surprises here. There were a few straight surprises out there—like “Wow s/he WASN’T gay?”

I’ve only really been surprised once, but it wasn’t on Facebook. An ex boyfriend of mine insisted that the guy I was dating got really drunk and came onto him. I thought it was a case of a jealous ex. After two other male friends of mine said the same thing, I kind of got the picture.

augustlan's avatar

I was surprised by one guy. We’d been good friends in high school, and I always thought he’d had a crush on me. When we reconnected on Facebook, I actually had the gall to ask him if he knew he was gay in HS, because my gaydar is usually pretty damn good. Turns out, he didn’t know, but figured it out later. And he did have a crush on me. :)

He came out pretty late (in his mid-thirties), and I’m so glad he is finally able to live his life, his way. He’s got a great partner, and I’m thrilled for him.

Berserker's avatar

My best friend from like grade four to six is a lesbian. I kind of suspected it, everyone did, but she was teased and hurt so much about it that for a lot of people, bugging her about it was just something you did, so much so that it was blown out of proportion so bad that it basically became a myth. It’s horrible.
But today she’s totally out of the closet, happy and goddamn it she makes a lot of money working for some computer/internet company thing. I was happy to hear it. She’s still a big fan of Sailormoon and Final Fantasy, so that’s awesome too.

GracieT's avatar

A friend of mine that I “loved” in high school came out to me on Facebook, and someone my best friend “liked” came out to her later also. (I don’t mean anything by the quotes, I just mean “liked” because of the many people we all “loved” in high school.)

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

And by the way… 50th reunion… decades away, by the way….I’m not ancient.

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