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zenele's avatar

Jellies come and go, that's not new. But when an old-timer leaves for good - it's a "blow" to the community. How can we get them to return?

Asked by zenele (8242points) August 18th, 2010

For me, it’s almost as if they’ve left me in real life too. Now it’s been discussed before, but whether or not you “like” a particular jelly – person that is, after all, we should do more to encourage people to come back after a breather – and not just disappear and go to Answercrap and Yahoo ads answers.

Some may be lurking, others may have assumed a new name. I won’t say who, but I have left many times to return with a new name, albeit zen-like and keeping my avatar.

Some return with their old accounts, thousand of lurve and questions, but have changed their name. This is fine.

I think we should all decide to make a call to all the flutherites, past and present, and let them know they are welcome here always; they should think of fluther as a home – you can get angry and take a walk around the block but you don’t “leave” for good.

Right?

—I miss the zebra, DP, Kev et al. (Sorry I didn’t make a full list.)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

49 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I figure every person knows they can take the walk around the block and return and so they do and some do not. I always hope they’re better off without Fluther even if Fluther isn’t better off without them. But you’re right, sometimes we feel we want to know why and wish we knew it was coming – was just talking to a user about SeventhSense leaving…and you know I had a love hate relationship with that man but I’m gonna miss his ass.

Seaofclouds's avatar

On the forums that I use to be a mod on, I was in charge of sending inactive members e-mails. It was basically a “Hi, we miss you, please stop by and see what’s new” type of e-mail. I’d say about half the people came back and of those, maybe half actually stuck around. I enjoyed doing it though. I suppose Fluther could do something similar if they were concerned about users coming back (or someone on Fluther could if they knew the person’s contact information).

Aethelwine's avatar

Some of them don’t want to come back. That’s what Facebook is for. ;)

Jeruba's avatar

I miss some of them, too. Not all, but some.

But there’s not a one that I would chase after. Sometimes it’s best just to let things be.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Jeruba I’ll chase that squirrel jbfletcher!

Jeruba's avatar

Well, and she’s one that I do really miss. @jonsblond. But people leave for their own reasons, or sometimes for reasons that are not their own, and either way I just wouldn’t care to put them on the spot.

zenele's avatar

I used to be friends with the squirrel. And the zebra. And Seventhsense. And the compassionate and…

@Seaofclouds I think you are on to something – calling Ben and Andrew and Auggie; could someone send a “we miss you” email from fluther to these guys?

Aethelwine's avatar

seventhsense is gone?

darn….he is :(

Jeruba's avatar

What I wouldn’t mind seeing is giving a peacefully departing member the option (at the mods’ discretion) to post, say, 200 words as a parting message that users would see in place of their profile. I would by no means extend such a special courtesy indiscriminately, however, and it would have to be subject to review.

zenele's avatar

Interesting, dear.

Love the new av.

* sigh *

SamIAm's avatar

this question makes me kinda sad… i didn’t even realize that dp or seventhsense were gone, but now i’m upset that they are! do people who are so active and influential in this community announce to anyone that they’re leaving, or why?

there are certainly people that i hope answer my questions, and whose responses i look forward to reading, and they will be missed by me if they leave. please don’t go!

Cruiser's avatar

I know a couple “prominent” long-term members have left because they were treated like shit and wouldn’t come back if your paid them. I don’t blame them for not wanting to come back.

SamIAm's avatar

@Cruiser : treated like shit by who?

Cruiser's avatar

@Samantha_Rae Ask them and they will let you know. Not my job to kibitz about the back stabbing and power play BS that goes on behind the scenes and in PM’s.

marinelife's avatar

I wouldn’t mind a Hi we miss you email going out to people who have not been active on the site for six months. As long as it came with an option to opt out of future emails. For people who really did not want further contact.

bob_'s avatar

Eh, whatcha gonna do. If people are getting upset about something, it’s healthy to take a break.

On a side note, if you were to reset your account again, I’d suggest zen_ as your new nickname, so that we would be underscore buddies. That’s NOT saying that you should reset it, though.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Quite often I find myself missing people that were regulars here when I first joined (zebra being one of those). New blood (especially those that stick around) is always exciting but there’ssomething comfortable about regulars or old-timers. I also find myself hoping that nothing bad has happened to them to stop them coming here. That’s why it is nice when other regulars still keep in touch with members that have left/taking a break from here and update us on how they’re doing.

whatthefluther's avatar

I miss many of those jellies, as well. But, we need to respect the decision to eliminate an account, be that a permanent ban by Andrew or Ben (we don’t know their reasons, nor is it our business) or a user closure. Jellies close their accounts for various reasons. Some to make a statement, others just want to move on and leave a clean slate. They know they will no longer receive PMs or email notices. They may depart for warmer waters (I know of none) or are content to lurk or may even establish new identities. So be it….it was their decision and we should respect that.
I understand jellies might want to get a message to departed members to perhaps say farewell, let them know they are missed or provide alternate contact information. Perhaps a public bulletin board could be established for this purpose. But it would have to be public since some of these folks have been banned, have no business at this site, whatsoever, and certainly are not entitled to a private message. To get alternate contact information to a departed jelly, one could request they establish a new username for the purpose of PM’ing the requestor to obtain that information. Even banned folks could establish new identities below the radar for this specific purpose and although they should not be visiting the site in any capacity, I don’t think Andrew or Ben would lose too much sleep over that.
See ya….....Gary/wtf

zenele's avatar

@bob_ Here goes nothing.

whatthefluther's avatar

Here we go again! Goodbye @zenele, Hello @zen_…..welcome to fluther.
@bob_…..Look out….I think he is going to want a sandwich.
@chyna….Thank you my friend.
See ya…...Gary/wtf

Jude's avatar

I had no idea that SeventhSense left. I liked the guy.

Some jellies have moved on and have no interest in coming back. I do miss them.

They are over on Facebook, though.

zenele's avatar

<<< Hates FB. Sorry.

Your_Majesty's avatar

I think I too,about to order my ticket a couple days ago due to disorientation.

I don’t think there’s something we could do to stop other people from getting out from fluther,people have many reasons why they do that,and beside,it’s their life.

I miss some flutheries that I seen at the first time I joined this site,they’re such remarkable people,but now they’ve left,replaced by many other newbie I’ve seen lately.

Answer crap bag? I’ve already seen very few people there so that site has been abandoned from a long time ago and I don’t think our flutheries want to go to that site.
For Y!A,I think it’s hard to ask them to back,considering Y!A is one of the most well-known(second only by Wikianswer),high-quality,and biggest website among many other QandA sites.

It’s unavoidable that competition among many other sites has taken away the enthusiasm of many flutheries here,they probably have found a new ‘lair’ and decided to spend more time there(I find less people here,different from the way it used to be). Although I believe this is just a ‘cycle’ on fluther.

Blondesjon's avatar

You’re trying to control something that you have no control over.

People come and go. While it’s fine lament the loss of a favorite user it’s also a decision that the user made of their own free will. This is the same way they will decide to come back.

Save yourself the headache of a useless endeavor and enjoy those that are still with us.

zen_'s avatar

I so do enjoy you, my friend.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I have no power. So, I just send out good vibes and hope they return.

Blondesjon's avatar

@zen_ . . . Likewise.

zenele's avatar

Lurve, exciting and new. Come aboard, we’re expecting you.

The Lurve Boat…

SeventhSense's avatar

Wow this is like being at your own funeral. Thanks for the flowers. I’m back again. I had a thorn in my britches and I’m still nuts but life goes on.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir
I missed your ass too. It’s not like I run across many gender neutral vegan atheist feminists in the usual course of my life that I can torment love…
or at least not that I’m aware of. :)

whatthefluther's avatar

@SeventhSense…It’s wonderful to have you back! It just wasn’t quirky enough, around here, without you!
See ya…....Gary/wtf

SeventhSense's avatar

Thanks gary.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@SeventhSense I’m putting that comment as my FB status, love

SeventhSense's avatar

I’ll try to be good. which of course means I’ll just be average bad

chyna's avatar

@seventhsense Don’t leave again. We need your brand of humor here. My way of saying I missed ya.

SeventhSense's avatar

If only I could draw a salary from this…

Jabe73's avatar

Yeah, I miss that zenele guy.

zen_'s avatar

@Jabe73 I’m here.

@chyna My way of saying I miss you is I miss you.

Also, what are you wearing luv?

chyna's avatar

@zen_ A shirt that says “10”. :-)

zen_'s avatar

Oh, baby.

Blondesjon's avatar

@chyna . . . where did you get the talking shirt?

Jabe73's avatar

@zen_ I knew that.

chyna's avatar

^nice hands^

SeventhSense's avatar

@chyna
That’s not me but I do have lovely hands too. I use Palmolive…

zen_'s avatar

You’re soaking in it.

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