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Akua's avatar

Do your parents have secrets you found out about?

Asked by Akua (4725points) August 29th, 2010

When I was 15 my mother and I were on a plane to Los Angeles and she was very drunk. During the trip she confessed to me that I had a sister who was the same age as me. Apparently, my father was a rolling stone and got another woman pregnant while my mom was pregnant. Anyone have similar secrets to share. By the way, I met the sister twice when I was 16 but we didn’t like each other. She was angry because my father never acknowledged her but gave me his last name instead so she took her anger out on me.

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25 Answers

Seaofclouds's avatar

There are a lot of dark secrets in my dad’s closet. I’ve learned a few of them and I really don’t want to learn any others. There were a lot of weird relationships in his family. My mom’s only secrets involved smoking pot back when she was younger and up until she got pregnant with me. It’s really not that big of a surprise since she was a child of the 60s.

zen_'s avatar

Nope. None that I know of… Mom?!

Austinlad's avatar

I found out a few things about my dad when I was a teenager that didn’t thrill me, but the biggest surprise was learning as an adult that my sweet little grandmother had walked out on my granddad, who apparently was quite the alte kocker in the ‘50s. That was apparently something wives did not do in the Jewish community in Fort Worth, Texas in those days.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

In the last few years I have learned a handful of very shocking and distressing secrets that my mother has been hiding.

ucme's avatar

Well at some point they must have.They were divorced when I was six. Something that doesn’t happen overnight or without good cause.

Frenchfry's avatar

When my father died I contacted his friend since he has known since he was a kid . I always thought he was married twice but he was married three times. I was in shock. Still trying to track her down . Not having much luck.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

My partial Jewish ancestry on my mothers side of the family. Considered a “deep, dark secret” when my grandparents married back a hundred years ago. Now, who the hell cares?

Aethelwine's avatar

My father cheated on my mother since I was 3 years old. He supported his latest mistress by paying her rent of $1000 a month for several years, spending any inheritance me and my sisters would have received. My dad is now (hopefully) faithful to my mother and about done with his bankruptcy that was caused by supporting this whore. I could very easily have little siblings scattered about the USA

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Mom once confided that her first two children were conceived because she had been putting her diaphragm in upside down.

I’m still waiting for someone to confess that my oldest sister (by 14 years) is really my mother. No one will give a “yes” or “no” answer.

Frenchfry's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer WOW I am sorry. That’s quite a confession. How did it make you feel? Just curious.

Akua's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer did you ever ask them directly if your sister was your mom? Or did you just hint at it?

Blondesjon's avatar

All parents have secrets that they keep from their children.

I, for one, would just as soon not know.

nor would I care for my children to know mine

SuperMouse's avatar

Long after she died, I found out that my mother had an affair right out of high school with a married doctor. My grandfather found out when the doctor’s wife called him. At that point Mom was shipped to an out-of-state college where she met my dad.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

All my life I’d not known what my biological father looked like much less where he was in the world and no matter how much I’d ask my mom’s relatives or the few of his I was allowed to see, no one would tell me a thing. When I was 16 then the man came to see me and I learned he wasn’t the evil bastard (not quite) I’d been led to believe had abandoned my mom and me right after I was born. Turns out he caught my mom in an affair and she was the one who left and then divorced him.

Akua's avatar

@Blondesjon – I hear what your saying but It gives me a feeling of satisfaction to know that the parents who raised me weren’t as perfect as they portrayed themselves to be. And maybe, just maybe I would have had more respect for them growing up if they had admitted to not being perfect and having had some mistakes in their youth. It’s hard growing up feeling unworthy because they have made you feel that they could not forgive you for the one mistake you made.

deni's avatar


but very welcome ones :)

AmWiser's avatar

I and my siblings have always thought our parents kept secrets but for whatever reason we respected that fact and never tried to find out the truth about them or what they were. Recently one of my parent’s secrets came to light but as we are older now, it was no big deal. Had those secrets been revealed years ago, we would have been devastated.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Frenchfry No need to be sorry. For all I know, it could be my own myth.
@Akua Yes, I’ve asked both directly, and both have answered, “Don’t be ridiculous.” A definite answer, one way or the other, would be nice, but I’m fine with not knowing now.

AmWiser's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer not to say you want to persue it, but you know there is always DNA testing.

cookieman's avatar

Yes, but only things I already suspected. My father simply admitted to them shortly before he died.

Nothing earth shattering, just disapointing.

Adagio's avatar

@AmWiser Yes, I can identify with your first post…

serafina's avatar

Yes, i found out the wrong way that my father had an affair when i was a baby and that i have another brother. Unfortunately i found out by this guy approaching me in a bar, bought me a drink, asked me to dance and announced to me that we had the same father….i was very upset and found out that i was also the last person within my family to know. Double blow at the way of being told and the fact i was never told by my parents. Not nice.

cookieman's avatar

@serafina: Ooh, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.

Akua's avatar

@serafina ok so you can definately relate.

mandybookworm's avatar

My mom had an abusive husband before my father. She also had a miscarriage with him that I never knew about untill a few years ago. There are probably other secrets on my Dad’s side of the family but their motto is pretty much “don’t speak about anything more complicated than the weather”.

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