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tranquilsea's avatar

If you were asked to become someone's trustee, would you (specific details inside)

Asked by tranquilsea (17739points) September 9th, 2010

My youngest sister was involved in car accident 17 years ago. She sustained a massive head injury that impaired her speech, gait and short term memory. The short term memory gives her the most problems.

Her money has always been placed in a trustee situation. My mother and a family friend were the first co-committees until my mother’s mismanagement and sometimes fraudulence drove my sister and I to petition the government to move control away from them. My older sister had it next but she couldn’t handle my mother and ended up making some really poor decisions with the money. The money was then managed by the Public Trustee which was a large pain in ass because they take so long to address issues.

My mother died and my sister moved in with me. For the past two years the Public Trustee in another province has been wrapping up my sister’s affairs in anticipation of moving the file to the province we currently live in. I just got a phone call asking me to be the trustee.

I have always stated that I don’t want to manage the money. It is not that I am even remotely unsure that I would mismanage it, it is the memories of all the abuse that went on. Time and time again family (the good ones) have asked me to take it on and time and again I have declined.

But here is why I am pondering it now: my mother is now gone, every bit of money that comes in to the Public Trustee gets 5% taken off right away. Doesn’t seem like much, but it has really added up through the years. I am constantly putting out money on her behalf and it takes months to get reimbursed. My sister constantly runs out of money and it takes weeks for her to get more.

I’m now starting to think about accepting the Trusteeship. I should say co-trusteeship (with one of my sisters as a co).

What would you do in this situation?

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4 Answers

lsdh182's avatar

I think I’d take the trustee-ship and learn from the others’ bad decisions and try to steer this into a good direction instead of focusing on the bad memories. good luck.

tedibear's avatar

I think that @lsdh182 is right. This is your opportunity to put a balm on the bad memories and make things right for your sister. And if the public trustee is doing such a bad job which is how it reads to me then that’s all the more reason to take it out of their hands. And if you’ve been living without that 5%, maybe you could invest that amount for her and make some of that money back.

tranquilsea's avatar

Every time the question of committee comes up in the family I’ve been asked to take it on and every time I’ve declined. Bad things ensued.

I guess the biggest reason I’m considering it now is that my mother has passed away. I loved her dearly but she was very intimidating person. Controlling my sister’s money and having to deal with my mother would have been tremendous amounts of stress. The only reason I was able to have a relationship with my mother was because control was taken by the Public Trustee.

The delays and the amount they charge have been a big bone of contention.

This is very unexpected for me. I have to process it.

augustlan's avatar

In your situation, I would do it. Provided your co-trustee and you get along and share similar ideas of proper money management.

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