Social Question

lazydaisy's avatar

Do you equate being submissive with weakness?

Asked by lazydaisy (1500points) September 18th, 2010

Based on a conversation I had several years ago with a co-worker.

She was a very strong woman. When asked to give her viewpoint on being submissive, I expected her to rant about how it was nothing but weak.

She gave a very different answer and instead praised the power of giving in.

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19 Answers

Rarebear's avatar

Hi Lazy,
No, not always. Sometimes it can be a sign of strength. Often at work, I’ll be in a meeting and if something doesn’t go the way I see it, I’ll active submissive and be gracious. That way I’m seen as a “team player” and next time there is some battle to be fought, I’ll be taken more seriously.

zophu's avatar

Occasional submission is a part of what makes groups work, but the act should be reflected upon after the fact so that the submitted can come to an understanding of why it was (or wasn’t) necessary. When submissiveness becomes a personality trait, though, it’s an unacceptable weakness. Submission without at least recursive understanding is unhealthy for an individual and their group.

LuckyGuy's avatar

The eagle does not always need to show its talons.

And that’s all I will say about that.

jaytkay's avatar

Dick Cheney

wundayatta's avatar

I feel that submission is a sign of weakness. I suppose weakness doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I guess you need weak people who can backup the strong people. I don’t see how you could call submissiveness a strength.

downtide's avatar

Logically, I know that for some people it can be a sign of strength. For me personally, I can’t ever help but feel weakened and humiliated by it. I can compromise, but I can’t be submissive.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No, that would be a mistake in dealing with an awful lot of people. I for one would read as being submissive by strangers but that’s just how I am until I’ve sized up my surroundings and the people in it. It’s my default mode when I’m not “faking it to make it” or comfortable in my own, with my own.

lloydbird's avatar

Er….only if you say so. {:- (

Trillian's avatar

It depends. I sometimes take pleasure sometimes in submitting to my SO. Well, I used to, when I had one. I really don’t mind the traditional role thing. I don’t always do it, but there is a certain feeling that accompanies it that is pleasurable for me. And for him, according to what he said.
I never felt weak, I felt….. I don’t know. I submitted willingly, so I guess there is a difference.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t like submitting, I do see it as weakness. Negotiating is good, working with someone I don’t necessarily agree with is okay, well that is what negotiating is, duhhhhh. But no, I hate submitting even to my mate. In all truth though, there is not much difference between submitting and acquiescing and that is an important part of a workable relationship. You just have to take turns doing it.

Soooooo, I don’t submit, I acquiesce when it is my turn with my mate, but rarely ever in other circumstances.

Pandora's avatar

It all depends on what you are submitting too. My mother in law always took over my home whenever she would come and visit. Needless to say her visits where like a bullet to my head. Well one time she came, I didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with fighting with her and I let her do whatever she wanted. It was the best two weeks ever. She did all the laundry, all the cooking and all the cleaning. I was pampered when I came from work and didn’t have to do a thing except just socialize and help her with the dishes. It was great!
Nothing weak about submitting when it benefits you. Some things aren’t worth the aggrevation.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

As @Pandora wrote, I often submit to my mother (she lives with us) but she does so much for us to express her love and in a way her worth that we appreciate her very much and don’t mind a bit of stepping-to.

With the mother of my ex-bf then I would be submissive only so much that I enjoyed to spoil her and ease her as much as possible when she was in my company. I didn’t feel any threat to my core personality to do for her even if others saw it as submission. The power was mine to act on.

The same could be said of how I treat my partners. I treat them like Kings so long as they treat me like Queens, no one is pressuring or setting a standard for me to perform to, I do it for the joy it brings and also the appreciation I get in return.

anartist's avatar

Strategic submission has its uses for the strong.

lonelydragon's avatar

No, though many people do. It takes more strength of character to put others first and not strike back when others are unkind to us.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I like what @lonelydragon wrote in that sometimes you don’t put yourself down or think you’re less worthy but you do choose to put some others first, out of love more than insecurity.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

It often takes great strength, physical and of character, as well as patience and flexibility, to submit. Domination is more often a superficial thing, and very often temporary. Submission endures.

This would be a good place for a poem about ‘the mighty oak’ that dominates the grass, at least until the wind finally breaks and topples the oak, and the grass grows over it. But I’m not that good a writer, and no kind of poet.

And there are different kinds of strength, too. You can make lumber from trees, and lumber is pretty strong. But you can make ropes from grasses, and ropes are tough. They each have their place, and their respective strengths.

hissubmissivebabygirl's avatar

Submission is not weakness when it is a choice.

It can take great strength of character to let someone else lead.

snowberry's avatar

I’ve been on both sides of the submissive tracks. It’s a really bad idea if you submit and your gut tells you there’s something wrong. The best kind of submission is when you take turns submitting to each other. That’s partnership.

NosyBut's avatar

One of my favorite quotes is “That which yields isn’t always weak” and like it or not, submission can be a very effective strategy in terms of descalating or escaping a bad situation with minimal damage if any at all.

You might want to read up on this too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamato_Nadeshiko

I personally disagree with being such a thing, I would be a fool to consider these women as weak.

The key would be are they capaple of leading in their own right. Whether it’s themselves and/or others. Whatever. If they’re capaple, then they are generally strong. If not, then it’s safe to say they are weak. Still wouldn’t underestimate them though. That’s never a good idea. :)

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