Social Question

Aster's avatar

Men, what is the main thing you fear a wife will do to you thus ending the marriage?

Asked by Aster (18865points) September 21st, 2010

It appears that the divorced men on here were taken for a ride via their credit cards by their ex wives. Is that a man’s main fear or infidelity?

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23 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t think that’s what most men fear. For me, I think it would be fall out of love with me. If that happens what could I do? There’s no fix to that. That’s just me personally.

YoBob's avatar

Attend my funeral.

iamthemob's avatar

Use/Turn the children against me.

Hawkeye's avatar

Cancel the sports channel

Aster's avatar

If these are true answers, then why is “she took all my money” the main complaint I read on here??

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

They got stuck paying it back so it comes up each month to remind them?

iamthemob's avatar

I actually think that @Adirondackwannabe has it that that’s the reason. Every time you pay for anything, it’s a reminder. It’s easier to consider what will make an overall impact in your life before it happens, and get a wider variety of answer, than it is after it’s happened and the thing that’s affecting you the most right now gives you a little monthly reminder that it’s still there.

Blackberry's avatar

Yes, financial infidelity: Stealing, identity theft, manipulating your bank accounts etc. I don’t care if you cheat on me, that just involves skin rubbing together, my credit score determines much more that will effect my actual life.

wundayatta's avatar

I can’t imagine her being unfair. She’ll advocate for herself strongly, but I don’t think she’ll be unfair. She wants what’s best for the kids, and we’d have joint custody. We’d probably live nearby.

As far as the finances are concerned, there’s little she could do, unless she was willing to take a big hit. She could liquidate her retirement funds, but she’d lose a quarter of their value in the process. Most of our assets are in retirement funds. She understands they would be split jointly.

If my wife did anything to try to screw me, I would be so shocked, I’d probably have a heart attack. She’s just not like that. Neither am I. We hurt each other, but not because we are seeking revenge. Our differences have deep roots and probably really have little to do with each other. We are just playing out our past history on each other when we hurt each other.

There was a time, a year or two ago, where I thought she might divorce me, and I didn’t care if I got anything.

Aster's avatar

@Blackberry ”....that’s just skin rubbing together…” Wow; so you pretend that’s not a big deal? LOL

Ben_Dover's avatar

Real men don’t fear negative future happenings. These kinds of fears are baseless and unjustified as no such thing has yet happened.
Why, their very imagining that it could happen might very well be the impetus which initiates its happening.
Besides, if you truly love her, you would want her to be financially secure after dumping your sorry ass.

Aster's avatar

that’s a nice attitude, @Ben_Dover . So maybe the skunk wad had some sort of feelings (guilt?) for me after extreme maltreatment.
Seems fair. He deserved it.

Ben_Dover's avatar

@Aster Oh, this is about you?!

Keep in mind that many people are quite broken by the time they reach marrying age, and as such you cannot take too personally their stupidity. They are broken.

Aster's avatar

People are “broken” at age 20–25?? I wasn’t.

Ben_Dover's avatar

People are broken as youngsters before the reach their teens. Just because you weren’t broken doesn’t mean millions f others aren’t broken daily.

What do you think child abuse is?

Blackberry's avatar

@Aster I didn’t mean to make it sound unimportant, but just compared to debt and ruined credit…..cheating is not a big deal.

Aster's avatar

@Ben_Dover ok; I can see that would make them broken at marriage but my Q had to do with marriages ending and what the main fears were that men had during or after the marriages such as loss of money or infidelity. I didn’t mean to minimize the seriousness of your comment.

Ben_Dover's avatar

Men, what is the main thing you fear a wife will do to you thus ending the marriage?

Sorry, from your wording of the question I assumed you meant what did men fear before it ever happened .

lloydbird's avatar

Genital dismemberment.

Aster's avatar

Yes, during it. But on Social I don’t care if people wish to discuss what happened that was unexpected. Things they didn’t find out about until it was over.
Am I confused? I’m not good at concentrating. ):

Russell_D_SpacePoet's avatar

Infidelity for me. I can make more money, but a broken heart takes forever to get over. Had a woman I was with for 18 years do that exact thing to me. Messed around and trashed my bank account.

cookieman's avatar

Not finances. She could try and take me for a ride, but it’d be a pretty short trip. Plus, if she ended up with full custody of our daughter, I’d live in my car so long as the munchkin kept a roof over her head.

Infidelity would be a deal breaker. Probably not an away on a business trip one night stand (that we’d try and work through), but an actual emotional affair would end it for me.

I sometimes worry about her ‘falling out of love’ with me in a midlife crisis kind of way – only because I’ve seen it happen with a few friends.

Ultimately, I’m certain these things are not a concern with my wife.

flutherother's avatar

Become unreasonable and controlling which can make your life not worth living.

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