Social Question

water_123's avatar

What are some ways to cope with rejection from a coworker?

Asked by water_123 (120points) September 23rd, 2010

So I told a coworker, my feelings and I got rejected. I am going to have to work with him everyday, what should I do? I have phoned in sick the last few days just because I am honestly scared to even look at him anymore. He even messaged me asking whats going on? What are things I can do? My work is team work, were everyone workds and talks to everyone so it will be hard to avoid him….

I have a entry level job, so I could quit and find something else?

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17 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Hey, don’t quit! There is much to be admired about a person who has the guts to tell someone their true feelings! At the very least,it shows that you are a caring person.
For what it is worth,you have my respect.Hold your head up!

marinelife's avatar

Just go back and act like nothing ever happened.

water_123's avatar

@marinelife @lucillelucillelucille should I answer his message asking what happened? or just ignore that and go to work acting like nothing happened?

tranquilsea's avatar

@water_123 I would definitely go to work and act like nothing happened. Perhaps your advance was not completely rejected. To explain: my husband and I met at work. He asked me out twice or maybe three times and I rejected him all three times. It wasn’t until I had time to talk to him outside of work that I accepted a date with him.

You never know what could happen down the road. Stay positive.

Cruiser's avatar

Just go back! You were only curious about his feelings and I bet he is even flattered! He may even change his mind! I doubt you know enough about him to really know where he is at in terms of wanting or needing a relationship.

iamthemob's avatar

It seems like your reaction right now is pretty extreme – was the rejection bad?

In any case, and please take this constructively, if this is causing this much concern and stress to you, you really weren’t ready to even tell the coworker of your feelings. You knew that you were going to have to see the person very regularly, and your livelihood was tied up in the equation. If you weren’t emotionally ready to deal with the consequences, you shouldn’t have taken the step. It’s your job to handle it.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, not much you can do but face the reality of the situation.

Don’t take it personally, nothing ever is.

There could be many reasons that this person is not interested in dating you.

I decided to take a looong break from dating or any relationship involvements this past few years. If I turn down someone it is because I am not interested in dating, anyone, period, and has nothing to do with the other person.

water_123's avatar

the rejection wasnt bad, he said he wasnt looking for a relationship right now, Im just i dont know embarassed too see him. I work with alot of teenagers and he is close freinds with everyone, The last time a girl asked a guy out from work the guy said no and made a big joke about it, everyone at work knew. I dont think he would do this, but I do know he is close freinds with everyone there.

john65pennington's avatar

I understand your problem, but remember, your job comes first. if you are part of a team effort and not there, then you are allowing your emotions to interfere with your employment. carry on and keep your paycheck. leave your emotions at home. jobs are too hard to find.

BoBo1946's avatar

@marinelife I vote for your answer…. Just put in the past and go on. Go into the office and when you met him, just say, “good morning,” and keep on going. This is no big deal.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@water_123 -I would probably just say you’ve been busy and not bother explaining much of anything.If he cares to,then let him bring it up.Until then,it’s not worth the energy. ;)
If anyone should try to joke with you about it,just ask them why do you care?

janbb's avatar

One of the problems with being interested in someone from work but we’ve all been there. Just suck it and go back to work. It won’t be easy but the more you make yourself act the part of casual indifference, the more you will start to feel better. In this economy, it’s not worth giving up a job over unless you are really miserable.

water_123's avatar

Thats true, its not worth loosing my job over. I do think I would regret that, Im just embarrased to talk to him at the moment, and afraid he told everyone, Especially what happened the last time a girl got rejected their, everyone knew and not to her face but behind her back everyone laughed at her. And one of his close freinds, who is a total jerk works there, and if he told his freind Im sure his freind would tell the whole stafff about it.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Just go in and act like nothing happened.

Attitude is everything. If someone asks you about it, respond with, “He should be so lucky” and don’t elaborate. In order to be talked about, you have to be a party to the conversation. The hardest thing to do is keep your mouth shut.

Tomfafa's avatar

I have some good ideas for you… but first tell me… do you work for the post office?

Tomfafa's avatar

@water_123 A bad reference to the term ‘going postal.’ So coined after a rash of post office workers settle their differences by shooting up the job site. Sorry. I am not funny.

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