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flutherother's avatar

What makes a good parent?

Asked by flutherother (29173points) October 2nd, 2010

We may not all be parents but we were all children at one time. What do you think are the qualities that make a good parent?

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27 Answers

MarthaStewart's avatar

There are only two things you have to remember to be a good parent
1) Always be consistent.
2) Always be flexible.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Acceptance of the fact that as a parent, you don’t know it all, and it’s okay to be unsure.
Realizing that expecting your kids to make curfew on the time, all the time could result in dead children. Unfortunately, I know far too many families that lost their children to speeding accidents because of ultimatums like, “No, you may not stay at Mike’s house until 12:30 to finish watching the movie. If you’re not in this door by 12:00 sharp, you’re NOT going to homecoming!” In the aftermath, at the funeral, the parents always say, “You know, it really wouldn’t have mattered if he came home 30 minutes late, as long as I knew where he was.”

Arp's avatar

Knowing that quality is better than quantity :P

ucme's avatar

Love, understanding, patience, maturity & an awful lot of pride.

flutherother's avatar

I think it is best if you like them, love them if you will, and everything flows from that like magic.

KhiaKarma's avatar

affection, fun, acceptance, clarity, and living by example

lynfromnm's avatar

Love, honesty, a sense of wonder and a large dose of “what if”.

remambermee's avatar

Understanding and reasoning.
Love and care.
freedom and discipline.
Letting a child learn from small mistakes and stopping them from big mistakes.
Letting them express themselves while they’re young.
let them experience many childhood and teenage memories before all that is gone.
communication. honesty.
Never give up on them. always give support.

perspicacious's avatar

consistency in discipline

eden2eve's avatar

Give respect and expect respect in return.
Make it very clear how cherished they are.
Be present and consistent.
Allow them as much freedom as they safely can handle, while providing guidelines as necessary.
Be a good example. Don’t do anything you don’t want them to do.

Ludy's avatar

A good parent, takes me everyday to school, allows me to question something that doesn’t make sense from my point of view, trusts me, loves me inconditionally and no matter what will always be on my side, talks to me with the truth, is proud of me even if I didn’t become a President, and respect the choices i make in my life even tough it’s not what is expected

Cruiser's avatar

A good listener who can set fair and reasonable expectations for their child and allow them to make most of their own decisions and mistakes. Teach them to be capable and independent and to value honesty and loyalty.

boxer3's avatar


Artistree's avatar

Hodding Carter said that ”...there are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots, the other is wings…”.

AstroChuck's avatar

Someone who doesn’t eat their children.

Adagio's avatar

Acceptance of one’s own limitations and failings as a parent… regrets are inevitable

@AstroChuck I agree but it’s damned hard sometimes though… that’s when the above quality is especially useful.

Ludy's avatar

what??? @AstroChuck are you joking?

AstroChuck's avatar

@Ludy- Not at all. I think people who eat their children are lousy parents.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think a good parent understands that children aren’t extensions of theirs or accessories. A good parent will always support their child and love them no matter their identities. It’s easier for me to say what a good parent is not as there are a lot more bad parents than good around. A good parent will not abuse or manipulate or shame their children into being what they want them to be. A good parent will not ignore their kids’ please for emotional support and validation. My parents weren’t really good parents and I don’t have a good relationship with them. With my kids, I do a lot of things differently and I have wonderful beings growing up. I consider myself a good parent, actually because I spend a lot of my energy on investing in their emotional and psychological well being and development. I consider how to best make them happy, how to keep them healthy and constantly engaged. My life never ended when kids entered it and that’s why our relationships work.

skfinkel's avatar

Respecting the child is essential. And if a parent is dealing with his or her own problems, trying not to act those issues out using the child.

Having enough time for your child. I think many children are lacking a basic sense of time with a parent.

Having a great sense of humor about everything—helping the child understand the perspective necessary to understand others and get through life without too much misery.

Adagio's avatar

A good parent acknowledges that sometimes being a Good Enough parent is OK, a good parent is not synonymous with a perfect parent.

meiosis's avatar

1. Shower them with love and affection
2. Set boundaries and be consistent
3. Pick your fights carefully
4. Listen to them
5. Don’t think you need to be their friend.
6. Give them space to develop as individuals
7. Shower them with love and affection

amyh2477's avatar

don’t be scared to say NO

flourchild01's avatar

Tiger Mom might think differently, but I’m raising my young ‘uns to know that they are very much loved. And that they can come to me for anything. Period.

Akua's avatar

Lots of love and affection. Pay attention to them when they speak and not only when they do something bad. Validate your children, tell them why they are loved and special and how smart we are (do this a lot because kids have short attention spans and forget). Don’t physically punish and hurt me. No name calling, insults or put downs. Spend lots of quality time with us at parks, movies, the zoo or just cuddling and watching “Charlotte’s Web”. Show me how to hoola-hoop or toss a baseball. Let us have a pet, even if it’s only a goldfish so you can show us hands on how something small and helpless should be loved and cared for. Then you will know that we are following your example. Shower us with your attention! Buy us a pretty hair bow, or throw us a birthday party or brag to your friends and family about me. Don’t turn your back on me because I made a mistake, show me that you love me anyway and that I always have your support and love. Don’t be afraid to give me tough love when I need it and prepare me for a world and time when you may not be there to look out for me.

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