What was your darkest moment?

Last fall when my dad died.

Losing my father when I was 12 (He was 35) was probably one of the lowest points. That was more shock and disbelief than depression. Sometimes everyday life can be pretty mean to deal with.

Alone in the crib Abandoned at two months…Hi mom
Being pulled off my dead grandfather and being introduced to my father.
Alone in the basement…. Waiting to be let out.
Alone in the prison… Waiting to be let out.
Alone in the mental institution…. Waiting to be let out
14 living in a goodwill box
Moment….. Thats the first 14yrs… Shall I continue? Nahhhhhh too depressing
I woke up TODAY! wow thanks.

The past is a rerun
The future is a dream
But today is a gift you may never get again.

wow @thekoukoureport ! That is just terrible! Life is not always simple and fair.

My darkest moment was the time after my divorce when I found out the truth of why she got out of the marriage.

Thats why the human spirit will prevail. Because we have the ability to overcome anything, so I know we will get better, its happening every day. Besides, Nothing to complain about now (other than Hemerroids OWWWW).

@thekoukoureport you are a stronger person for it, but hate you had go though that.

Standing on a bridge, and thinking how easy it would be to climb over the railing and jump off. The only reason I didn’t was because I wasn’t certain it was high enough to be guaranteed fatal. This wasn’t a one-off occurrence either.

Well @thekoukoureport, look on the bright side. At least you can get a good chuckle at most of the inane BS that other folks think is a crisis.

So… now that you’re out, what are you planning to do?

Not really sure, when I was operated on for prostate cancer due to Agent Orange exposure when I was in Vietnam, and then my wife filed for divorce had to be one of the darkest moments I’ve ever had.

@YoBob LOL my wife is amazed at my perceptions on life, and I am alwoays thankful for her unconditional love. That first part of was actually a little less than the 1st 3rd of my life. I am 45 Married with two wonderful children. The road it took to get here was much darker but also much brighter than most can imagine. Don’t think I would trade my life for anything. I have filled many bucket lists and faced many horrors but ones thing for sure I HAVE experienced life.

I don’t believe my darkest moment has come yet. Even during the evilness, the moments of wanting to give up, the feelings of depression, I have been able to move forward towards the light. None of those moments were dark enough to break me. If I am ever broken, then that will be the darkest moment but I don’t believe I can be broken.

I had a Doctor misdiagnose me with a debilitating life changing disease. Darkest 4 days of my life.

I honestly can’t recall a “darkest moment.” I mean, shit happens as the tee shirt says but nothing really to get worked up over, at least so far. Unless I include the time I remarked to the wife that yes indeed her bum did “look big in this.” Yeah coz about a second after the pan hit me over the head I definitely “blacked out!!” :¬(

Was! ? it still haunts me! :-/

So far? When I realized at 15 that life isn’t at all what I thought it was. I was home schooled 3rd-8th and was extremely sheltered. Brought up in a church I thought everything was exactly like the grownups said it was. I thought my parents were perfect and would never lie. I thought highly of those in leadership. I knew nothing of corruption and evil. Boy was I living in a Fantasy world!

Long story short.. My childhood pastor caused my family of 8 to lose our home. My mother fell into a pit of depression and blamed God. My father who was my best friend became a complete stranger. To top it off my boyfriend of two years cheated on me with a girl that went to church with us. Needless to say I became a rebellious and dark young girl. I hated everyone and everything and lived to go against everything my parents and preacher had ever taught me. Strangely enough I didn’t blame God although I was pretty pissed that I felt like he hadn’t given a crap about me. Turns out had the darkest part of my life not come around I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today. Personally I believe God was there the whole time and had a plan for me, but some of you guys don’t buy into that sorta thing ;)

When a client of mine was killed by her abusive husband. I had tons of documentation and had advocated for her profusely for the past year and she got caught in the legal loopholes and financial struggles. (unfortunately she refused shelter) The system failed her and in the end there was nothing I could do other than to work with family members to get her burial expences paid for by Crime Victim’s Compensation. If you or someone you know is being afected by relationship violence please seek help.

My childhood might qualify as well, but I have moved on and don’t want to rehash.

Just before I called my friend that night, I had almost made up my mind, but not quite. I called her, looking for someone who would be willing to help me along. I knew she wanted to go, too.

Instead of figuring out ways to kill ourselves, we made each other laugh so hard at the absurdity of it, that it felt like a boa constrictor was tightening its body around my chest. I owe her my life. She says she owes me hers.

14, abused, kicked-out, homeless.

27, too sick to pursue a PhD in a field I had put 7 years of my life into.

34, the darkest depression I ever experienced. Came very close to killing myself.

Alone in Paris when I lost my bag – no money to stay or go anywhere and no one could understand me. I was on my own and night was falling. Luckily two very nice people in a tourist office gave me enough money to get the train back to Charles de Gaulle airport. And a phone so I could ring mammy!

Probably when the boy I loved at 16 told me we couldn’t carry on our romantic relationship (long-distance) as he’d found a girlfriend where he lived, and it wasn’t fair to her. I was not only immensely hurt but the loneliness was crippling. I felt abandoned. He was pretty much the only thing that made me happy at that point in my life, and I was miserable over losing it.

I won’t share my darkest moments, but I will assure you that every one of them led to brighter ones.

There’s a wonderful old saying that if everyone’s problems (dark moments) were stirred into a giant caldron and then everyone reached in and took out a number of problems equal to the number they had contributed, they would pick their own! In other words, given the choice, one is always better off dealing with his/her own problems than someone else’s. I love that.

I wish I could say I only had one. There have been a few times where I was so low that I couldn’t sink any farther.

My relationship with the sociopath.. if I told you guys that tale, you would be shocked as hell. Enough drama and sordid bullshit to make a telenovela look boring and normal and I ain’t even joking. I was stripped of everything that made me me. I was beat down, over and over, until I felt completely worthless and hopeless. She made me feel like no one else would ever want me, like I was a total useless piece of shit. She messed my head up so bad that I got used to being treated like shit, like I deserved it because I was nothing. I felt helpless, like I’d never get out, but I didn’t even really want to get out because who would ever love me again?

She left me alone for Thanksgiving and was a bitch on the phone when she called. I felt so lonely, depressed, abandoned, and like such a worthless piece of shit that I decided I was ready to just lie down and die. I took a bunch of pills, basically anything prescription I could get my hands on, and went to bed. Instead of dying, though, I passed out for 16 hours and I think I may have had a seizure or something during that time because when I woke up, the sheets and covers were completely off the bed, stuff was knocked off both night stands, and it seemed like I’d thrashed around quite a lot. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but I peed the bed during the time I was unconscious, too. Anyway, I was really pissed and sad to have woken up, but oddly, I felt loads better emotionally for a while.

I was still suicidal and spent a few little vacations in the hospital as a result (one of which was involuntary, the handcuffs and paddy wagon were super fun). Then, we broke up and I went to go stay with my mom indefinitely while I got my head on straight. I was still really fucked up. I’d done research on overdosing and had been hoarding my Lithium and my other medications in preparation for the big event. Something set me off and I took them all. I don’t recommend trying to overdose on Lithium, cause if you wake up, it is so beyond unpleasant.. took me about 2 weeks to feel normal again.

Should have killed me.. I got taken to the hospital, where they were not happy with my attempted suicide and were not nice to me at all. I was told, quite coldly, that I did not take the pills I’d indicated because if I had, I would be dead. I was like, DUH, I researched this, you think that wasn’t my point?

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub with the utility knife ready to slit my wrists. I was beyond the light. I was in the place where there was not even a hint of any light. No hope.

The phone rang, and miraculously, it was the right person on the other end of the phone to pull me back from the edge of suicide.

@free_fallin I am with you on that frame of thought, living gives us many transitions to learn what strengths we have and how to become stronger by allowing ourselves to experience all of what life has to offer. Let us not fear life!

@hawaii_jake
That is a wonderful thing, and maybe it truly was a miracle. Maybe someone cares about you more than you know.

@eden2eve : This was many years ago now, and I have a good number of very close friends I can call in an emergency. :)

finding him dead on the floor. emts finding me crying on the floor beside him. finding out it was my fault, even though i didnt mean to do it. suckin

@janedelila what happened?

When my grandpa died

versus

Contemplating leaving a partner I still loved and wanted to have a life with .

I have had several of them, but, guess what, I lived though it all and now I am happy everyday.

It was when I flunked second grade. I really needed that experience. I think that it helped me to understand the concept of cause and effect. I realized at a young age that it is easier to work hard and do good than it is to be lazy and do bad.

well here are some I think at least for me.

1: finding out that Amber got into a car accident and she had a black eye and some other things like that.
2:Finding out her father died…Killed me inside and I didn’t even really know him.
3:having my friend betray me…It hurt me in the inside.
4:knowing that I don’t have a father like most children at my age do…
5:Fights between my sister and mom….

Yeah those are 5 of them I guess…They were dark for me.

@MissAnthrope Thank you for telling us that story. It’s amazing what our bodies can survive. It’s amazing how even when we want to stop the pain, our bodies keep us awake for more. Still, perhaps actually trying it can be therapeutic. Especially when you try your hardest, and then realize you’re back for more.

I don’t believe things happen for a reason. I think things happen and then we make up a reason to explain it. I think we try to make sense of the circumstances we find ourselves in, and we tell ourselves a story to put it in context. I wonder what your story is.

I have been having difficulty lately because a shocking number of my friends have been dying. Always of cancer. I had a friend in hospice a couple weeks ago. They thought he would die at any moment. He’s still alive. And today I found out that CAK is still alive!

Our bodies fight to stay alive, I think. Whether or not we think we can handle the pain, our bodies keep up the fight. Maybe we’re stronger than we think we are. Maybe there’s a part of us that knows things can get better. Maybe our calls for help are heeded, after all. Maybe someone loves us when we thought there was no one.

It happens. All I know is that every day is precious, and all the more so because of how close I cam to not having more days. I know that every day that my friends manage to keep cancer from killing them is a precious day to have them around.

Because we are human, we need networks of people to create a context in which we can make sense of our lives. When we feel those connections, or even when we don’t, but they are there anyway, I think it makes a difference. I think it keeps us alive. Not just ourselves, but others. We depend on others for life, and sometimes, even though we have lost connection with everyone and everything, our bodies keep on fighting. I think our bodies know things that we don’t know.

When I broke my back in two places in 2001 – I spent 3 months in the hospital, not knowing if I was going to be able to walk again. The nursing care was abominable & it was some of the darkest time I have ever endured. I eventually got out, & spent several more months in a full body brace, but I did recover to the point that I can walk & I can drive & I can work. I cannot walk to the extent that I used to & I can no longer run, or dance, or skate, or ride horses, or ride motorcycles – but I am not dependent upon a wheelchair – so I consider myself fortunate.

@Linda_Owl—- I am sincerely happy that you are able to get on with your life, even though you are not to fully return to it as before, but at least you are still here to share it with your loved ones.

I woke up in a closet with a skeleton, and the closet was in an even bigger closet, and that closet was inside an underground cave at night.

It was probably (controversially) when I was pregnant, having split up with my son’s father and felt like my world had collapsed, without any direction and the knowledge that I was now responsible for another life. It profoundly changed me. The fear I felt in those days was like no other and absolutely helpless.

When my family and I moved in with my grandma to help her out after my step grandpa died. She treated us terrible. Always stayed in her room…never wanting anything to do with us. Got snappy if we did something wrong. And then one day out of nowhere she started yelling at my mom, brother and I. Said very hurtful and horrible things. I was always feeling sad and just couldn’t escape it. Almost ran away once and thought a lot about suicide. Then to find out I’m biopolar didn’t make things better. I lived like that for a year and half.