What are your dating "rules"?

Back when I was less mature, I would ‘let the contact fade,’ as you put it, for just about all of my dates. It seemed as if the girls I was dating wanted something serious, and I simply didn’t at the time. I could have went about it better, but I just avoided all contact with them. That said, I have forgone many would-be relationships until I met my wife, the only real relationship I ever had. When I first dated her, I didn’t “play it cool” or anything, I called her the next day. It may be old-fashioned, but I feel it is up to the guy to do this. If he doesn’t call you in a couple of days I would almost assume he’s not interested (but yeah I know not every guy is like me….)

If I’ve had a good time I’ll tell the guy to call me at the end of the date. I won’t call him at first, just because that is the way I was brought up. If I have had a bad time, I will just end the date with a thank you for the date and hope he doesn’t call.
If the guy hasn’t called me within a few days, I’ll know he wasn’t interested and forget about him.

This is the kind of thing where being gay makes the situation more confusing. Like.. if I’m more the guy out of the two of us, is she expecting me to call? Or maybe not hearing from her after the date means she didn’t feel romantic chemistry?

I try not to seem over-eager.. try to play it a bit cool. But then again, I want to be genuine, too, and if I’m interested, I kinda want her to know.

Never to date when you’re engaged.

@Austinlad Ha ha, I was wondering what you were about to post!!!

Another thing that I don’t think works is to text or email or even leave a voice mail. This has happened to me while searching for a job, so I’m extending it to dating also. If I have left a voicemail or email and they don’t get back with me, I’m wondering if they got it and are ignoring me or if they never received it.
If you’re interested, call her and see if she’d like to so something. You will never know until you ask. If a guy gets right back to me within a day or two that I like, that gets him extra points for not playing the game.

The only two rules I ever had was to carry a good weapon and to not forget the bullets. ;)

@lucillelucillelucille Matrimony through fire superiority!

@MissAnthrope I think I would err on the side of being too aggressive. If you don’t make a move you might miss out on someone interested how is waiting on you, too shy, or fearing rejection. I would rather make the effort sooner and appearing overeager than miss out by playing it cool.

I admit that lately I’ve started waiting for the guy to contact me. It feels a little childish—would it really change anything at all if I just sent a “I had a great time” text? or a follow up with a relevant joke? But it’s nice to have some small amount of reassurance that he’s actually interested, in the form of him making the next contact. Also it’s nice to be pursued!

I had a date yesterday and I really like her. I find her very attractive, plus she is super easy-going, fun, and really funny. Talking with her was easy and she said ‘we definitely should hang out again’. Trying not to get my hopes up too much at this point, also am not sure whether ‘hang out’ was said casually or if it was truly meant, to let me know she’s feeling the platonic vibe.

Gay dating is complicated. So, she’s more of a femme and I know she likes girls on the boyish/andro/butch side. I’m not sure if she’s expecting to be pursued or what. I did send a follow-up text this morning to say I had fun and that I hoped we could do it again soon, but haven’t heard back from her. She could be working, I’m not sure.

Trying not to obsess, but that’s like asking the sun not to be hot.

I want to add that I don’t mean this thread to be about me.. I really am curious about how y’all roll when it comes to dating. It’s just that I’m in this situation and pondering it, hence my motivation to post the Q. :)

If I like someone I don’t call them right away. I don’t want to show them I’m too eager, also want to make it seem like I have a life. Generally, I wait about 4 or 5 days before calling them and I don’t stalk them on the phone.Make it seem like you have a life going on and that your not waiting by the phone, computer etc.