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Rarebear's avatar

What's your favorite geeky joke?

Asked by Rarebear (21085 points ) February 1st, 2011

The tachyon leaves the bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.

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25 Answers

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Weren’t you in here yesterday?” The rope replies, “Frayed knot.”

ducky_dnl's avatar

What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?

Answer: What a Lava-ly day! :D

choreplay's avatar

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I have this shirt and I find it hilarious.

WasCy's avatar

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic who walked into a bra?

aprilsimnel's avatar

Rene Descartes walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Ah, Monsieur Descartes! The usual?” Descartes replied, “I think not.” – and vanished!

creepermax's avatar

My reflection.

Blackberry's avatar

Why do we feel better on sunny days?

High-pressure happiness….......Ba-Dum-Chhhhh.

gailcalled's avatar

Ole was out on the lake. A loon swam by, and he shot it. Then he cleaned, cooked and ate it. The local game warden heard about the offense, and came looking for Ole. Ole admited he had done the deed and was subsequently ticketed, taken to court, and fined by the local judge.

After the court appearance, the warden was curious.. “Say, Ole, what did that loon taste like”?

Ole replied – ”‘Pretty good – a cross between Bald Eagle and Trumpeter Swan…”

Now make a donation to The Sierra Club.

ETpro's avatar

Great question and thanks for all the laughs it gave me reading all the great answers. Here’s my list:

My current pursuit is Web development, so computer jokes have to be on the list:

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

But engineering was my pursuit most of my working career, and my favorite from that discipline was:

Four engineers were sitting around one day trying to figure out who might have designed the human body. The first fellow said, “I think it might be a Mechanical Engineer, because of joints and muscle and sense of balance.” The other three nodded their heads and said, “Yeah, could be.”
The second fellow said, “I think it might be an Electrical Engineer, because of the nervous system and neural network.” The other three nodded their heads and said, “Yeah, could be.”

The third fellow said, “I think it might be a Chemical Engineer, because of hormonal balances and metabolism.” The other three nodded their heads and said, “Yeah, could be.”

The fourth fellow snaps his fingers and shouts out, “I know, it HAD to have been a Civil engineer!” The other three ask “Why?”

“Well,” replied the fourth fellow, “who else would put a waste water drainage right through a recreational area?”

DrBill's avatar

What is a transistor?

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A nun who had a sex change

cubozoa's avatar

How about a math(s) joke?

One day f(x) threw a party for all of his function friends. All of the functions were there: e^x, nr^2, i^2, even some old-school guys like |x|.

Anyway, e^x is sitting all alone in a corner, acting morose. His good friend, 2^x, approaches him and says, “Come on, integrate yourself into the party!”

e^x looks at him and says, “Why? It’s not going to make a difference!”

downtide's avatar

A quantum physicist is driving down the motorway, and he is pulled over for speeding by a police officer. The police officer says “Excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were going?”

“No,” says the quantum physicist. “But I know exactly where I am.”

yankeetooter's avatar

A neutron walks into a bar and has a few drinks, He goes to pay his bill and the bartender says, “No charge!” ...groan!

WasCy's avatar

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: People who understand binary numbering, and those who don’t.

ETpro's avatar

@WasCy Unfair. I told that one here and only got 10 Lurve points for it, and you get 11 for repeating it. :-)

WasCy's avatar

And with way fewer keystrokes, too.

cazzie's avatar

We’ve been having a great long list of science jokes going on NPR’s Science Friday’s Facebook page. Way too many to list here but here are two I liked.

An artist, a lawyer, and a scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The scientist says “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night in the lab!”

A sociologist, an engineer and a mathematician, all from England, are on a train in Scotland. They look out the window and see what appears to be a lone black sheep on the hillside, walking in the same direction the train is travelling.
The sociologist says, “Fascinating—sheep in Scotland are black!”
The engineer corrects him, saying, “Some sheep in Scotland are black.”
The mathematician says, “Ahem. In Scotland, there exists a sheep, at least one side of which is black.”

cazzie's avatar

Why did the fungus marry the algae? He took a lichen to her!

A hydrogen atom and a helium atom go into a bar. The hydrogen atom is clearly upset and moans, “I’ve lost my electron, my only electron.” The concerned helium atom says, “Just calm down now… are you sure you’ve lost it?” The hydrogen atom replies, “Yes, I’m positive!”

At the National Institutes of Health, there’s a sign on the door of a microbiology lab that reads “STAPH ONLY!”

How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? He looks at YOUR shoes when he talks.

Schroedes13's avatar

This joke needs another person.

You look at a friend and ask them “Ask me if I’m a tree!”

They ask “Are you a tree?”

You can start laughing and giggling and say “No, I’m not a tree! Are you crazy? Look at this guy, thinking I’m a tree. OH MAN!” Your answers can be any derivation of these given, as long as it conveys the silliness of being asked “Are you a tree?”.

cazzie's avatar

This tshirt had me giggling. I was a bit overtired. http://www.zazzle.com/ferrous_wheel_tshirt-235495118074575722

ETpro's avatar

@cazzie Best part is it’s wash and wear. No ironing required.

cazzie's avatar

good one, @ETpro .

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