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dreamer31's avatar

Do you assume things about people at first glance?

Asked by dreamer31 (1932points) February 23rd, 2011

Or do you approach people with empathy/understanding, trying to assume nothing?

Like the lady in front of the line at the grocery store who has to put a few things back because she does not have enough money.

Or the man in filthy clothes probably because he works hard for his money

Or the momma who is a little more than frustrated at her childrens’ misbehavoir.

We all know thoughts cross our minds, what are yours? Do you try to stop yourself from creating an assumption? Do you feel guilty if you do? Do you have any specific situations that you can think of, good/bad?

I have a sometimes overwhelming sense of empathy/understanding towards all people, and often feel guilty if I just assume anything.

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22 Answers

Coloma's avatar

I try to never make snap assumptions/judgements about anyone, BUT..I do notice ones overall posture, expression, presentation and can tell in an instant the basic state of their energy/self esteem.

Nullo's avatar

Sort of. When I’m at work, seeing a small herd of jabbering adults moving my way sparks resentment: I just know that they’re going to mess up my case, or make a wholly reasonable demand that I’m tired of hearing.

Curiously, every single time that I try to preempt a customer’s question (I am asked “when will the chickens be ready” some dozen times per day), it turns out that they wanted something else.

troubleinharlem's avatar

Yes, but I try not to.

You can’t help it – it’s your subconscious working, but you can help control it.
Try reading the book Blink – it explains a lot of it.

Since I’m going to be a social worker I have to learn how to not assume things about people and be empathic and such. I am a naturally empathic person, but it’s natural to assume.

everephebe's avatar

I assess possibilities and probabilities, and wait to be surprised. I try never to make a judgments, as I am constantly acquiring new evidence. I approach everyone for the first time with empathy and equal-opportunity suspicion.

partyparty's avatar

I never judge, and would hope nobody would ever judge me.
I would perhaps notice what someone is wearing, whether they had a smile on their face or whether they look sad, but that is all.

tranquilsea's avatar

I try to approach every situation with understanding and compassion. Having been through more than a few scrapes of my own and needing that compassion from other people…

Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.

glenjamin's avatar

I think we all do subconsciously, we have cognitive schemas for different types of people (akin to stereotypes), and there is some kind of implicit association I am sure of it. On the conscious level, I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt and assume I know nothing about them.

Mikewlf337's avatar

Doesn’t everybody? Everyone judges people and assumes things about people to some degree. I believe it is human nature.

6rant6's avatar

Well aside from the obvious – he’s dangerous, and she’s hot, yes. Yes, I do.

I tend to think blondes are smart, redheads are interesting, Asian women are mild (yeah, I know exceptions), Goth girls have things to say.

Oh and men. They’re probably not going to be that interesting.

bunnygrl's avatar

I try never to assume anything ever. I’ve had so many things assumed about me over the years (ie: she has to take anti depressants… she’s nuts) and I’m painfully aware of how hurtful that can be. I treat everyone across the other side of my checkout exactly the same, a big smile and a friendly hello and mostly folk are lovely (people do respond positively to a smile I’ve found) and the odd one or two who persist in being rude…. well…. they still get my huge smile and I always hope that it’ll rub off and cheer them up :-)

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

When I see a man (or woman) wearing a stained wife beater tank (or tube top) with jeans hanging so low I can see their crack, with bad posture, black teeth, an unlit cigarette dangling from their lip or tucked behind their ear (and I’ve been a smoker for 19 years), scratching their ass or “fronties”, in a checkout line with a case of beer and a carton of cigarettes, but they’re paying for groceries with food stamps, I automatically assume they’re a loser.

Other than that I try to not make snap judgements…

faye's avatar

I’m with @WillWorkForChocolate. I suppose they could be buying the beer for and taking the cigarette to someone.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@faye If they’re wearing a Nascar Is My God t-shirt and their ballcap looks as though it’s been used as a spitoon, I seriously doubt the beer and cigs are for someone else. :P DISCLAIMER: I am not knocking Nascar. I really miss Dale Earnhardt, but some people just carry things a bit too far, lol.

Plucky's avatar

I ditto @Coloma‘s statement, exactly.

flutherother's avatar

I look at the face and the eyes and the posture and a snap judgement is instantly made. It is not within my control. My opinion will then be modified or changed as I get to know the person better but my first impression is usually quite accurate.

cynicaldeath's avatar

I make instant assumptions on people after 0.001 seconds of seeing them. I come across thousands of people everyday and I make thousands of instant judgements. However, this doesn’t mean that I don’t approach people with an open mind. I treat everyone that I meet equally, except my superiors of course.

12Oaks's avatar

Of course, you can’t help it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Sure I do. I’m always curious as to why the first impressions and then wonder what’s really going on, the myriad possibilities of lifestyle and life story. I like people watching.

Sunny2's avatar

I think I probably make snap judgments about people, but I stay open about them until I see behavior that reinforces my opinion or refutes it entirely. You can’t really tell about people because of the way they look. I often talk to the person ahead or behind me and am sometimes pleasantly surprised. A person I’d thought to be a rough and tough guy, turned out to be quite gentle and peace loving. We shared a laugh about the food shopping experience and wished each other a good day as he left with his wife and baby. On the other hand, a woman who was well dressed and cultured looking and her adult daughter looked rudely down their noses at me when I made a comment. I hadn’t figured the possibility of snobbishness.

SABOTEUR's avatar

If I see men dressed in sheets and it ain’t Halloween or a frat nearby, I assume it might be healthy for me to vacate the premises pret-ty darn quickly.

SABOTEUR's avatar

All jokes aside, though, people who work closely with the public often develop a habit of quickly sizing up people to determine whether those people are potentially dangerous. I know that what I did as a cab driver. Regardless of what anyone said about discrimination, the look of a person determined whether of not they were getting in my cab. To do otherwise might mean someone would be carrying you home in a body bag.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I often find myself snap judgements about people but that doesn’t mean that I don’t treat them with the respect that I would like to be treated with myself.

@WillWorkForChocolate In England, we call people like the type you described “Pikey’s”. They deserve to be judged!!

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