Would you like to attempt a rhyme?
I have always like rhymes, I know I’ve said this many times.
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ‘cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other
—that is until I met your brother.
6. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
7. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Care to try it yourself?