General Question

joy20's avatar

If a guy has a three month old son and the girlfriend won't let him see the child, is there anything he can do to gain visitation rights? If so, what steps need to be taken?

Asked by joy20 (106 points ) March 7th, 2011

They live in Michigan. They were together for years but now aren’t together anymore. He loves his son very much and it’s killing him to not be able to spend time with him.

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20 Answers

Judi's avatar

He needs to pay his child support and sue for visitation rights. Call an attorney.

joy20's avatar

Child support hasn’t been set up yet…should he take it upon himself to set that up?

KateTheGreat's avatar

He has to get a lawyer. If she moves away and doesn’t let him see the child then it can be considered kidnapping. All you have to do is call DSS and get a social worker and then he can work things out.

joy20's avatar

What is DSS?

Judi's avatar

He needs to get the attorney FIRST! (think she’s talking about child welfare or the district attorney. There are different acronyms for social service agencies in different areas. )

KateTheGreat's avatar

@joy20 Department of Social Services.

JmacOroni's avatar

Child support and visitation are not related in the eyes of the court, in most states. He does need to take her to court to sue for visitation or joint custody, though. Then they will most likely set up a child support plan, depending on how the custody works out in the end. If his ex g/f remains the primary caregiver, and he is granted visitation, he will most likely have a child support order to follow.

joy20's avatar

Okay THANK YOU SO MUCH…His baby is only three months old (Does that make a diffrence? He thought he couldn’t get rights bc his son wasn’t old enough). Also, do you know how I can edit my question to say three months?

JmacOroni's avatar

@joy20 the age isn’t a factor in parental rights, but it may factor into how much visitation time he is granted with a child that young. It is good that he starts when the child is young, because if she is going to withhold visitation now, you can almost bet it will happen again in the future. The court will see that he fought to see his child from day one, which will play in his favor if this should ever come up again when the child is older.

To edit your question, you can flag it yourself and leave a note that you’d like to fix the subject line.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

@joy20 Absolutely. He needs to get a lawyer, get a court date set up, and get joint visitation set up. He will also have to pay child support which he shouldn’t have an issue with. If he is a fit parent, she can’t stop him from seeing his child. He needs to do this ASAP!

JmacOroni's avatar

@BBSDTfamily technically, even if he isn’t “fit,” in most cases they will allow supervised visitation, if he really does want to be involved with his child.

joy20's avatar

Oh he’s “fit”, no issues there!

kheredia's avatar

If she won’t let him see the child and he has been cooperating with her the whole time then he’ll need to lawyer up and take her to court. He should try to get joint custody to teach her a lesson. How inconsiderate of her to deprive her child of having a father. I don’t care how bad their relationship is, the child should not have to be the one to suffer because of her anger.

JmacOroni's avatar

@kheredia while I agree with your thoughts regarding the child being deprived of a father and how unfair that is to the kid…. filing for joint custody to “teach her a lesson” is basically the same thing. Kids aren’t ammo.
He should file for joint custody if that is what he truly wants and is able to do. In order to see his child, he only needs to file for visitation, but if he is willing and able, joint custody is always the ideal.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Like the others have mentioned, he needs to get a lawyer and file for custody/visitation of his son. If he is not on the birth certificate, he may have a few more hoops to jump through (to prove he is the father), but a lawyer will help him with all of that. Once custody is determined, they can figure out child support as well.

cak's avatar

@Seaofclouds Excellent point about the birth certificate!

^^^Others have said it before me, attorney and custody arrangements. It’s worth the money and hassle to make this a formal, binding agreement through the courts!

blueiiznh's avatar

he needs to go through the proper steps set forth in his state to have it heard and a visitation agreement put in place by the court. It can be done pro se, but it is in his best interest to get a lawyer who works in family court matters and get it worked out.
Once an order is put in place, both parties will need to obey the orders or they can be found in contempt. This includes him.
The courts want what is best for the child. Most states work toward shared custody unless there are reasons not to allow for this.
Have him do what’s right for the child!

iamthemob's avatar

Regardless of whether the parties know paternity – the court needs to be informed that your friend is the father before he can really exercise his visitation rights. Outside of marriage, the father has to affirmatively seek recognition as the putative father in most cases with the court.

He needs to get in touch with the local family court and see what steps need to be taken, if he needs an attorney, and where he might find one.

kitkat25's avatar

He needs to go to court and get a judge to grant him visitation with his son.

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