Social Question

RareDenver's avatar

(NSFW) Why do you think there is such a different attitude towards male and female sex toys?

Asked by RareDenver (13097 points ) March 29th, 2011 from iPhone

It seems that a woman owning a vibrator is perfectly socially acceptable nowadays but it’s still considered a bit weird for a man to own a synthetic vagina. I really can’t see a prime time sit-com featuring a bunch of guys in a bar discussing their fleshlights any time soon.

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35 Answers

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Gadzooks, IMO I think it is more seen that a guy who has a “flashlight” vagina is seen as some sort of loser or troll who can’t get a woman and thus has to settle on they you. Most women can find someone to inspect the plumbing even if it take a good deal of alcohol. It is the same with a man and a blowup doll, even if its is one of the expensive high-end dolls with mechanical actuators it is seen as a poor substitute for a real woman and if you could get a real woman you’d never settle for the toy or the doll.

augustlan's avatar

Interesting question! I wonder if it has to do with the fact that your genitals need to feel ‘inserted’ into something (like your handy old hand), while ours (often) need to feel penetrated and we don’t have a ‘handy’ alternative. Also, there’s probably some bullshit macho factor, too.

So, do you have any sex toys, Denver?

RareDenver's avatar

@augustlan I don’t have any sex toys maybe I should go buy some to research this matter. In fact there is an adult store not far from my office, it always makes me laugh when I go past it as there is a big sign out front that says ‘Alternative entrance at rear.’

Bellatrix's avatar

I agree with @augustlan. I think it does come down to the fact that men can use their hand to simulate ‘insertion’ (although I have no idea of how similar a fake vagina/or hand is compared to the real thing!) In contrast, women may need or want penetration. Also, couples can use vibrators to enhance their sexual play. I don’t think men can use fake vaginas to enhance their sexual activity with their partner.

klutzaroo's avatar

You have all the tools you need to achieve orgasm. We don’t. That simple.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Mz_Lizzy (although I have no idea of how similar a fake vagina/or hand is compared to the real thing!) The hand is never like the real thing, if it was all the band geeks would never feel they were missing out. The hand cannot cover as much surface area or recreate the tighness of a real hotdog stuffed in her hot tasty buns. :-)

Bellatrix's avatar

lol yes I get that, perhaps a better way of phrasing that would be “I have no idea how pleasurable the hand or fake vagina is in comparison to the real thing” from your response though… I would say… not very. :-)

BarnacleBill's avatar

Do women sit around in bars and talk about their vibrators?!?!

augustlan's avatar

Probably. I might have…:D

RareDenver's avatar

@BarnacleBill have you never seen an episode of Sex & The City?

BarnacleBill's avatar

Correction. Real women, not men’s fantasy women, sit around in bars and talk about their vibrators?!?!

augustlan's avatar

@BarnacleBill I’m as real as they get! On one girls night out, we had a huge discussion with our gay waiter about what snowballing is. Vibrator talk is nothing. :p

BarnacleBill's avatar

I lead a sheltered life.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Did the waiter know what snowballing is?

augustlan's avatar

He taught us!

syz's avatar

I knew what it was. And. ewww, by the way.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

You girls didn’t know what it was?

augustlan's avatar

We didn’t. We were discussing the merits of swallowing, if it’s rude to ejaculate without warning, etc, and he said the best defense was the snowball technique. Learn something new every day!

@syz That’s because you’re cool.

syz's avatar

That’s not what my friends say. They just think I’m twisted.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@augustlan I ran across a woman in college that used the same defense.

Taciturnu's avatar

I think it really depends on the crowd you run with. Of course, I’ve been known to be a bit of a deviant. My ex had a VERY large collection of male sex toys- masturbators, anal beads, vibrators, realistic rump and simultaneous couples’ toys- you name it. I thought it was great and an awesome complement to my own extensive collection.

I actually disagree with the statement of women “needing” penetration. (And anyway, if it were needed we do have fingers.) Most women can’t climax without clitoral stimulation. Therefore, emphasis would likely be put on external stimulation, vs. internal. To put this rudely, it’s perfectly possible to just “rub one out” like a man.

I think the stigma surrounding male toys originated with the feminist movement. Women took a stance to empower their sexuality (among other things) and men have always had the understood assertion of sexual power, without actually claiming it. Man get woman, make woman bride, bride make baby. Caveman stuff. If there was a sexual movement in general (about empowerment, not the current idea of posting sex everywhere), perhaps that stigma would dissipate.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I’m not really sure why there seems to be such a difference in attitude. I know my hubby doesn’t have any “toys”, but then again he’s never mentioned wanting any. If he needs sex, he just attacks me! :P

I have to say, when I first glanced at this question, I thought it was posted by Rarebear, and I almost had a heart attack!

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Neizvestnaya's avatar

I always thought sex toys were accepted for women because the common thought is women can’t have consistent orgasms from sex like a man can and so need and deserve aids whereas like @Hypocrisy_Central first noted, men who need toys must be losers who can’t get partners.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

And I got accused of being obsessed with sex….. We were discussing the merits of swallowing, if it’s rude to ejaculate without warning, etc, and he said the best defense was the snowball technique. Like being at a buffet unless they post a limit on how many deviled eggs you can take at one time you assume you don’t have to stop at three; if a woman don’t say she is against having a mouth full of spunk which is a common dispensation or falatio then it is permissable.

syz's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I strongly disagree, and think that’s an assumption that would damage many a nascent relationship. You’re assuming that oral = buffet, whereas I think many women would associate oral with an appetizer. Unless it’s agreed upon in advance, a choking mouthful of hot salty surprise is a mood killer. And if there’s splatter, that stuff’s hard to get our of our hair.

augustlan's avatar

Mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Just sayin’.

Also, just kiddin’.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

LOL @augustlan. You’re typically pretty darn nice, so are you admitting that you swallow? :P

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How did this go from toys to swallowing ettiquitte. I know spelled wrong.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Because inquiring minds want to know! LOL!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I thought of this yesterday but didn’t want to derail the thread, but, if you put your mouth around a penis, isn’t a load of cum kind of part of the equation?

syz's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Not necessarily, unless it’s attached to someone with a hair trigger.

augustlan's avatar

<< Is a nice person. Draw your own conclusions. ;)

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