Do you hate surprises? Can you help me understand why?
My wife’s birthday is next week. I asked if she wanted a party or just something fun for the two of us. She’d like it to be just us.
So she knows I’ve been planning something. Tonight she told me I’m stressing her out by not letting her know what it is. Not like the fun little anticipation stress that I was hoping for, more like she feels I’m forcing her into something.
I’ve been planning for 6 weeks, have a great day and night planned that I know she’ll love, and really want to surprise her with it all. The last thing I want to do is stress her out with the whole thing though.
Can you help me understand? To me, a great gift that’s a surprise is so much better than the same gift when you know it’s coming. I just want to do something great for her and feel a lot of the little touches I’ve got planned just won’t be the same if she knows they’re coming.
I’ve explained that, answered questions, and tried to reassure, but the stress remains. Do you share her perspective? Would this stress you out? Can you explain it to me so I can try to balance both sides?
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.