Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

Women: what, if anything, do you wonder about what men are thinking when you meet them?

Asked by wundayatta (58357 points ) September 29th, 2011

I wish I could read the minds of women—just for a week, maybe. Then I’d go back to the regular situation.

Do you like me? Would you be interested in me if I were available? Do you not care about my stomach? Is my conversation attracting you? Do you show me your cleavage on purpose or are you somewhat innocent of doing that? Or have you sort of accidentally on purpose forgotten? Are you flirting subtly, overtly, or is your manner just flirtatious and it means nothing?

Do women wonder things like these, too? If so, what questions would you want the answers to if you could have those answers without embarrassing yourselves by asking?

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23 Answers

Jude's avatar

Do they just want to get into my pants.

janbb's avatar

I am usually thinking, “Is this an interesting person that I want to spend any time with or not?”

nikipedia's avatar

I feel like it really depends on the man and the situation, no?

silverangel's avatar

when a boy is looking at a girl, does it mean he is attracted to her or is there something wrong with her appearance or what?
How to know his real intentions when he’s flirting for fun or he is serious?

picante's avatar

I interact with hundreds of men routinely in my professional life, and I don’t have one specific inner dialog, as it will vary by individual and/or by circumstance. I’m generally not assessing a man’s desirablity, nor my desirability to him. Now, do I evaluate a man’s conversation skills, sense of humor, physcial attributes, level of professionalism, social skills, quirks, oddities? You bet.

My inner dialog might be something like this: I like how you’re dressed, and I very much appreciate the tone of voice and body language that you’re projecting. Your conversation is quite interesting, but you seem a little self-absorbed. Is that glint in your eye simply a reflection of your inner spark, or are you actually sending me little “wink wink.”

I’m not overtly flirting with you, but if I find you interesting, I’ll probably linger a little bit longer in the conversation than is necessary. And then I’ll mind my own business ;-)

jca's avatar

If they’re nice looking or have some attractive features (physically or personality wise, like humor, intelligence) then I will overlook what might be considered a flaw (OP mentioned stomach not being perfect is an example), and then I will wonder if he is thinking similar things about me.

If it’s a situation where the person is not available, like if he’s married or it’s a work situation, then I won’t usually think those things.

Pandora's avatar

When I was younger and married.
Don’t, hit on me , don’t hit on me! Oh, crap you just hit on me. Like he would have a freaken chance. Creep!
or Great you didn’t hit on me. Whew! Nice guy. He just seems to enjoy my company.
Gets hit on by a cute guy. Smile. :) You can’t touch this but you are still welcome to dream.
Older, now and still married.
Don’t hit on me. Great he didn’t hit on me. Wait, he’s barely noticing me. ITS BECAUSE I’M OLD, ISN’T IT! I’M OLDER NOT INVISABLE!
Don’t hit on me. Oh, great he’s hitting on me. What the hell is his problem. Do I look desperate. Creep! Take a picture it will last you longer.
Don’t hit on me, Oh, he’s lightly flirting in a joking way. Thats sweet. At least now I know I’m not dead or invisable.
Younger not married
Older guy checking me out. Creep, dream on!
Guy my age sweet but not my type. Yeah, sorry buddy, but I would like to have you as a friend because your sweet.
Cute guy my age. Well he wouldn’t have to work too hard. I was very flirtacious. All he would have to do is ask for my number or a date.
Cute guy not interested in me. I was probably too smart for him.
Cute guy showing me real interest in everything I said. Finally a guy who likes me for my mind.
Cute stupid guy. I’m just going to walk away now before he says anything more.
Really smart and sweet guy who can really communicate. Hey, be a smart cookie and ask me out. You may think I’m only attracted to cute guys but I find a beautiful mind to be really sexy.
Call me!

Oh, and plenty of times. Hey, my face is up here. Not at my boobs.

thesparrow's avatar

Lol Aw… I wonder if my BF thought ‘are you looking at my stomach?’ AHHA <3

thesparrow's avatar

Some guys are nervous when they meet an attractive and intelligent girl, especially if they haven’t been exposed to this lethal combination. They may do silly or awkward things, such as talk too much or make weird body gestures. Do not think anything bad of them

Pandora's avatar

@thesparrow My husband was awkward and I thought rude when I first met him. But I could tell he was confident and smart and I found that a sexy lethal combination. Still is sexy. You can still tell when someone is just feeling a little awkward but is still smart, inspite what comes out of their mouth.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Statistically, men supposedly, by the confinements of age, hormone output, and background tend to think about sex on average every 5 to 10 minutes in the younger spectrum, and every few hours as they age and testosterone wanes due to a natural and practicle process so that being said…

depeding on all of these variables, everything else is merely guesswork concerning what other reasons and observations might exist above and beyond what can and has been measured as a process within the mysteries in another persons mind.

So I’m going with sex…

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t really wonder what they are thinking. I just kind of evaluate the conversation, if we seem interested in what each other is saying.

creative1's avatar

Are the just thinking they can just get into my pants and walk away?? Do they like me for me or just want me for sex?? Seems men just want in your pants and nothing more

thesparrow's avatar

@Pandora Mine was very talkative, and still is. But also very smart.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@creative1 I don’t believe that is the totality of it… But that is a part statistically this is just true.

tinyfaery's avatar

Too many variables to just give one answer.

Earthgirl's avatar

I generally think and wonder the same things that I do when meeting a woman. What should I talk about? How am I coming across? Sometimes I am immediately at ease with a person. Other times ver self conscious. It has less to do with gender than with general rapport.

Bellatrix's avatar

Perhaps because I am so totally into my husband, I honestly don’t really notice guys in a “is he interested in me” or me in him, type of way.

More likely to be as @JLeslie and @Earthgirl said, focused on what we are talking about, am I making sense etc.

Of course I notice nice looking men, but that’s about it. I notice. Enjoy. Move on.

thesparrow's avatar

Am I very bad?

My first reaction is always: how do I look with this guy? AND does he embarass me?

Is it borderline narcissistic that I almost never worry about how I come across, especially because I’m a gentle woman with fine breeding and good education?

JLeslie's avatar

@thesparrow Not bad, but you probably hang around a lot of superficial people. That can be a lot of work and a big burden. Everyone I know who worries about how they look to others all the time have anxiety problems, I hope you don’t fit my stereotype on that. Your comment also means to me you are busy judging others about the same thing, how they look, who they are talking to. I hope you are young, and grow out of it.

thesparrow's avatar

The latter assumptions about me are correct.

jca's avatar

I can tell you that since losing over 70 lbs so far due to weight loss surgery, men look at me more and are nicer to me.

thesparrow's avatar

@jca There’s hardly a double standard there. My bf used to be fat when he was a kid, and he was constantly picked on.

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