Social Question

Bellatrix's avatar

Men. Do you feel resentful that women expect you to put the seat down after you finish in the toilet?

Asked by Bellatrix (21121 points ) October 6th, 2011

Inspired because I have recently read an article and seen a TV show where men discussed this perceived ‘inequality’ and expressed their resentment. So does it bug you that women tend to expect men to put the seat down?

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68 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

My husband put the seat down before we even met. In fact, he is the one who got me in the habit of putting the lid down with the seat.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

No.

There is a moment when I wonder how people get through life without looking at what they are about to sit down on, then I apologize and go back to whatever I was doing.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought the butt-dunk into the toilet usually happens in the middle of the night, in my experience.

ucme's avatar

Okay, i’m just going to come right out & say this. I wiggle, wipe & also put the seat down, everytime. I’m a good boy I am, well that’s one way of putting it ;¬}

Bellatrix's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought. I am with @ANef_is_Enuf. That’s when it gets me too. No lights in the bathroom (literally no lights yet) and if the seat isn’t down… well kaplunk…

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

i have kids so I put night lights in my bathrooms. If there is a dunk, and I hear about it, I am just bemused

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought clearly you have never felt the cold splash of toilet water on your butt in the middle of the night. :P

Bellatrix's avatar

Lol@bemused @Imadethisupwithnoforethought. Seriously, I saw this discussed at length on a US television program the other day and then read another man going on about it in a blog today. It is obviously an issue for some people. And there are no lights because we are renovating. I agree @ANef_is_Enuf, a very nasty experience.

I should say my husband is very happy to lower the seat.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

I get indignant if anyone doesn’t put the seat and the lid down. I get tired of fishing stuff out of there that got dropped. And if the wind blows it in there.

Hibernate's avatar

She doesn’t bother to put it down for when she needs to use the toilet .. must be because I go more often to the wc than her ^^

rooeytoo's avatar

If a man’s life is so uncomplicated and smooth that he has all this time to resent and complain, I think he must be leading a charmed life.

It’s sort of like the cap of the toothpaste which is never replaced! Annoying but hardly worth getting resentful about!

JilltheTooth's avatar

Yay all of you that put the lid down as well. That way, everybody has to lift something, nothing falls in that’s not supposed to, and the pets don’t <gag> sample what’s in there.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JilltheTooth No pets to worry about but I sleepwalk like no one else. I keep the lid down.

bobbinhood's avatar

I agree @JilltheTooth. My husband is usually pretty good about putting the lid down, but he occasionally leaves everything up. Then I walk in to find a kitty enjoying the “fresh” water. I know they lick their butts, too, but I’d rather not have multipurpose toilets.

I’ve never understood the fuss about putting the seat down. It just seems wrong to me not to lower the lid, at which point the seat is mute. I wonder if the men that get irritated over this live with women that don’t put the lid down.

dabbler's avatar

Seat down, lid up. It’s usable without any manipulation.

And put the cap back on the toothpaste !! Nobody wants to use the dried out bit that develops with the cap off.

Prosb's avatar

I always put the seat and cover down. I don’t even have a memory of ever leaving it up.
Force of habit I suppose. Our Toothpaste usually has the cap attached with a tiny plastic hinge to the neck of the tube, so you can’t lose it, and it’s a mere flick away from being closed. There’s no excuse. Even if it was a screw-on cap, I like putting things back in their proper place.
In the bathrom at least.

rts486's avatar

No, because I don’t put it down.

filmfann's avatar

I put both the seat and the lid down. There is no reason to have that uncovered, unless the flu is going around.

Judi's avatar

That’s why I have a Toto Neorest 600
Well, 1 reason. It’s only the most amazing potty in the world.

Prosb's avatar

@Judi That is a pretty amazing toilet. Don’t think I’d drop a few thousand on it though.

Mariah's avatar

Another cheer here for both seat and lid down. I’ve read (correct me if this is a myth) that flushing the toilet with the lid up allows bacteria to get spewed all over the bathroom. With my toothbrush mere feet away, I’m not so into that idea.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Mariah Correct. Flushing with the lid up can allow mist up to 10 feet. (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)

AshLeigh's avatar

@Mariah… Gross.
I’m moving my toothbrush, because I know the other people in my house leave the lid up. D:

Judi's avatar

@Prosb ; worth every penny. :-)

Coloma's avatar

I have the opposite problem, although when I was married my ex was good about putting the lid down.
Now, I get up in the middle of the night, forget the lid is down, and plop on top of the closed lid. That’s a shock too. lol

TexasDude's avatar

No.

I have always put the seat down out of habit anyway, because I was raised by women and I distinctly remember my stepmother screaming at little five year old me for at least 25 minutes the first time I ever forgot to put the seat down.

Frankly, I don’t understand what the issue is. Is it really about dunking your ass in the water? I know that when I go to poop, I always turn the light on and look before I plop my ass down. Do a lot of women really not do that? What am I missing? Is there a God?

6rant6's avatar

@rooeytoo talk about resent and complain. Sheesh.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard : In the middle of the night, not having to turn on the light is kind of a big deal for some of us light sleepers. If I don’t turn on the light, chances are good that I’ll get back to sleep after peeing. If I turn on the light, everything goes into “Hey! It’s light! Wake up!” mode and I am a crabby little camper.

TexasDude's avatar

@JilltheTooth ok, I getcha. Are most women like that, though?

Coloma's avatar

I have a custom toilet seat and lid that is a clear turquoise resin with tiny bubbles in it. It’s really cool visually but,it looks like the lid is up at times if you don’t look closely, which one usually would not in the middle of the night. lol

JilltheTooth's avatar

Well, @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard , I know a lot of people that are like that, but I can’t give you numbers or percentages….

Mariah's avatar

I feel exactly the same as @JilltheTooth about turning the light on at night.

bobbinhood's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Count me in, too! I wake up and get cranky whenever my husband turns the bathroom light on in the middle of the night. He closes the door first, but enough light comes from the crack that I don’t tend to sleep well the rest of the night.

SpatzieLover's avatar

My husband was taught to put the lid down. Is it really that difficult? The lid is there for a reason…as Dr.Oz says ”Do you really want e.coli on your toothbrush?

Coloma's avatar

@SpatzieLover

Gah! I saw a documentary once about how when you flush the micro spray shoots out like 15 feet. Ewwww!

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Coloma I saw one of those, too. The scientist doing the experiment used a black light & put something in the water to make it glow…It was on the walls, the mirror….everywhere in the bathroom.

Dr. Oz recommends you flush w/your foot and quickly shut the door behind you in a public restroom..Ewwwwww!!!!

Coloma's avatar

@SpatzieLover

Was that the scientist that named his kid after some bacteria? lol

Judi's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard , Most women are also concerned about waking up others too. The bathroom in my master bedroom is very close to the bedroom. If I turn on the light, it will seep under the door and disturb my husband. I would go to the hall bath, but I don’t have the Neorest 600 in there and I really like the heated toilet seat in the middle of the night. :-)

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Judi I am seriously going to save up to buy one for our main bathroom

GabrielsLamb's avatar

If I were a man I wouldn’t feel the need to put it back down either… Until my wife one night led me by the hand while I was sleeping and shoved my bare ass into a porcelain nightmare of piss sprinkels and hard, freezing cold.

And then as he slipped in , washed it off with the pee that she left in the bowl when he fell all the way in because the seat was up AND he never flushes either… and as he became submerged in it, he let out with a bloody squeel that made every farm animal in a 100 mile radius look up and go…. “Yep, someone forgot to put the seat back down again.”

Then, as he sit’s there she snaps a picture of his face so that he could see the look that happens, when that happens and threatens to put it on Facebook if he EVER forgets to put the seat down again and not flush.

There’s always a damn reason to complain if you care to think about it guys. I’d say that right there is a pretty good one… no?

It’s okay guys… This is how we learn… this is how we learn.

digitalimpression's avatar

I don’t feel resentful. Just a little confused. Seems to me she keeps leaving the toilet seat down!

rooeytoo's avatar

@6rant6 – what are you saying to me, what do you mean???

JilltheTooth's avatar

Oh, god, @rooeytoo…don’t get him started! Can you imagine the library thread…about toilet seats???

incendiary_dan's avatar

I don’t surround myself with women who can’t figure out to check first. It’s just a fucking toilet seat, take three seconds to look.

Seriously, I’ve never once heard a woman actually complain about a toilet seat.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@incendiary_dan Oh…would you like to hear me?~

incendiary_dan's avatar

Lalalala can’t hear you fingers are in my ears.

rojo's avatar

Not really, got into the habit to keep the dog out of it.

Bellatrix's avatar

Well I never expected to see such a range of discussion to my “toilet seat” question. Thank you for all the responses. @Judi, that is a very fine loo you have there! Wow… that must be like the Bugatti of toilets! Do you need to take a test to drive it?

I agree with the light off point at night. If I did turn the light on at night, it would wake me up and I would find it difficult to sleep later. The ‘seat’ discussion only really has relevance to me when my husband (who is normally really considerate) for some reason forgets to lower the seat. Since he almost always does this, it is a bit like being ambushed when he forgets and suddenly, your bum vanishes down the loo unexpectedly. Not normally a reason to look, because it is there in 99.99% of times I use it.

Ick but true about putting the lid down. My daughter, who lives in a shared house, keeps her toothbrush etc. in a plastic case to avoid this problem. Yes, lid down as well is a good idea.

Thanks again everyone.

Coloma's avatar

@Bellatrix

” the Bugatti of toilets” hahaha

Oooh…it handles well on those tight curves. lol

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@SpatzieLover And cat’s have the good sence to never put it up in the first place.

But now that you think about it… Why do they make them with lids that go up anyway?

Who started this nonsence? Must have been yet another Nazi invention intent upon causing misery and dessention between people just for *Shit’s *pun intended… and giggles?

tedibear's avatar

Very rarely do I have this issue. I’m usually the last one to use the bathroom at bedtime, so I make sure the seat is down and the lid is up. That way, when I go in for my 2AM trip, I don’t have to turn on the light or think about checking. Any other time, it’s light and I can look at it. Like many others, turning on that light is going to wake me up.

@Judi – I can understand all of the features of your toilet but one. Why would you need a remote control for it?

Bellatrix's avatar

@tedibear So your partner can flush it while you are sitting there, oblivious to the fact they have the remote?

tedibear's avatar

LOL! @Bellatrix – Maybe he thought it was the TV remote?

Judi's avatar

@tedibear ; lol. It mounts to the wall and serves as a flusher, and controls the cleaning wand. Front cleaning, rear cleaning, rear cleaning soft, oscillating, pulsing….. It also controls the water temperature and the seat temperature.

dabbler's avatar

In the middle of the night why turn the lights on ? I can find my way.
I’m not going to pretend I could aim a stream in the dark so I’m gonna sit.
The seat better be down and the lid better be up or I’ll be the one waking everyone up.
Works for both of us.

dappled_leaves's avatar

I have no idea why women feel entitled to have the seat down, but I certainly do. I grew up expecting the seat to be down, and have been caught off guard before (though not in a very long while) – not only by the seat being up, but also by the lid being down. That is just as unpleasant an experience, in my opinion. Not sure why other women applaud putting the lid down, if the concern about leaving the seat up is the unexpected dunk (For me, it’s more the gross state of the toilet bowl rim. Some men have really bad aim.).

Gonna say it again – I absolutely expect the seat to be down, and consider it rude when men leave it up, even though that seems like a totally unreasonable expectation to me! What’s up with that?

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

I didn’t know that they “expected” me to do that. I just think that’s a little neurotic if you ask me. But no, I would not feel resentful if they expected that from me. To be honest, the women (and girls) in my life have never brought the subject up, not even once in passing——it’s really minutiae.

digitalimpression's avatar

I’m not understanding what’s hard about putting the seat down? This age old question has me baffled. If you go into the bathroom and the seat is up, take .5 seconds and put it down. I don’t buy that women are incoherent and lose 63 iq points if its late at night, whereupon they sink into a toilet after not looking at it at all before sitting down. XD

That said, I usually put it down after I’m done with it because it seems women do just that.

Mariah's avatar

@digitalimpression The thing about night is that it’s dark and you can’t always see. Hahaha

rojo's avatar

What about following that old rural saying about gates that goes “When you find it open, leave it open, when you find it closed, close it after you”?

gorillapaws's avatar

@dappled_leaves “Some men have really bad aim”

You should try peeing with a hard-on…

mattbrowne's avatar

Female students taught me this in 1983. And the rule was “before”, not “after”. Still is. Twenty-eight years later it feels kind of normal. So, no, not being resentful about it.

@gorillapaws – It’s actually easier sitting down. Bend down and have your head reach for your toes. Then take aim.

gorillapaws's avatar

@mattbrowne true, although I’m always worried of the urine splashing all over my little friend by sending him so low into the bowl, not to mention seats are chilly in the morning—a time of day with a particullarly high correlation for erections.

mattbrowne's avatar

@gorillapaws – Over time you’ll relax faster…

flo's avatar

It is one of the most ridiculous arguements. Everyone should just put it up or down before they use it.

digitalimpression's avatar

@Mariah I guarantee that if I have to poo in the middle of the night I won’t “fall in” if the seat was left up.

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