(NSFW) What causes this?

Dead? Like you collapse on top of her and can’t move? Like your willie goes awol and turns into a slinky? What?

Sorry, lolwut?

I think this is common. Maybe it’s nerves, maybe you’re nervous about how it’ll all be, how you’ll feel, if you’re ‘big enough’ etc.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I agree.

Eggie, this takes practice & patience. You are young, as I recall. Find a nice girl that is patient and willing to work with you so you can remain calm, yet excited.

@Eggie go dead is not a lot to work with.

Do you lose your erection completely without sensation? Do you ejaculate a little and lose your erection, but it doesn’t feel like you had an orgasm?

You need to help us with the specifics.

I am not that hard when I am finished playing with her….so when it is time to penetrate my dick is weak.

Okay,

1) If you never get hard, go see a doctor.
2) If you can, I think the @Simone_De_Beauvoir and @SpatzieLover are correct, and its nerves.

Switch up your foreplay to where she plays with you last so your mind is already in the self aware pleasure zone. If you move to penetration after playing with her last, your mind is focused on what you just did, did she like, is it enough, the new Apple product coming up and how much to switch over…

Try new things and talk enough between you to where you know if she’s really getting turned on so you don’t have so much anxiety. Worrying about Eggie Jr. each time is going to make this happen more.

Don’t rush it and let her stimulate you as well until you’re completely hard. Foreplay should be a two way street.

Men get erections when they’re relaxed. If you’re nervous or anxious, it will constrict blood flow to your “buddy” and he will go limp faster than your grandma walking in on you will. Are you able to function normally when you’re waxing the dolphin solo? I agree that it’s worth talking to your M.D. about. Impotence can be an early indicator of heart disease, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. There are lots of other great answers above as well.

If the foreplay is very prolonged you can lose interest.

You are probably imagining that sex is not a self centered experience. It is. Treat it as such, and only choose partners who see it the same.

Sounds like performance anxiety. Meditation and body awareness helps…

There is a good exercise book called Neurospeak by Robert Masters.

Try it.

My buddy had this problem, I think he was shy for some reason. He said he had to quit smoking, couldn’t drink alcohol before it etc. It’s called ED.

How many days of foreplay are involved here?

Practice, Practice, Practice

You should “play” with her first then move on to you.

@Carolg I liked “you should play with her” alot. Welcome to fluther.