Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

[NSFW] What did your first view of images of human reproductive activity make you feel insecure about?

Asked by wundayatta (58357 points ) November 1st, 2011

Warning: this question is not for the squeamish. Gory details and a willingness to disclose possibly uncomfortable things required.

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Maybe some of you are perfectly beautiful and are the sexiest lovers alive. Maybe you actually act in porn films. This question is not for you. The rest of us aren’t that beautiful and sexy and we don’t act in porn.

When I first saw pornographic images (stills), it looked to me as if all the men had humongous gobs of cum. I don’t produce nearly that much. Not only that, but mine isn’t the color or consistency of what I saw in the pictures. And of course, all the men seemed to have cocks at least a foot long.

Of course, I thought there was something defective with me; with my cum; with my cock. I wondered if I’d be able to have children (which was the case, although not for that reason).

What was your reaction the first time you saw porn? Did you think you were doing something wrong? Did you think there was something wrong with you? What were those things?

For bonus points: what did you learn from porn that turned out to be wrong?

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30 Answers

syz's avatar

It wasn’t porn, but a film on human sexuality scarred me.

I took a biology course at the local community college when I was 14. The instructor (who was a freak, by the way) showed a film on natural childbirth. I remember the camera being between the mother’s legs, and when the baby crowned, she ripped stem to stern. That cemented my opinion that I did not want to have kids.

Watching porn just made me think that sex looked ridiculous and really not very attractive. And that boobs were apparently made out of plastic.

gailcalled's avatar

—To the observer, sex always looks ridiculous and not very attractive. Luckily it feels good enough to override that memory.

I have never understood the draw that porn has. It is certainly a thriving industry, so some people must enjoy watching it. I always found myself first laughing and second feeling sorry for the performers (I can’t bring myself to call them “actors”).

When I was a young matron in the late sixties, women used to have parties and look at themselves and each other with a hand mirror. It took the stigma out of it all; everyone looked very similar, and besides, the food was better than refreshments at the porn movies.

wundayatta's avatar

@gailcalled Very funny! Wish I could give you double lurve bonus! I take it that you never felt any insecurities looking at porn. Lucky you!

gailcalled's avatar

After the first few minutes of the first movie I ever saw (in the early sixties, in black and white and very murky – it was hard to tell what was going on), I felt no discomfort.

However, by then I was married and had a little son, so I was no longer inexperienced. And delivering a baby lis visually similar to porn but, interestingly, no one is turned on.

One of the the gang of young married couples I hung out with had a 16 mm projector and a screen. It was all pretty amateurish.

tedd's avatar

I didn’t wonder those things really that much. I maybe became a bit more self conscious about my hygiene and physique, but those are pretty normal anyways I think.. just maybe jump started by porn.

As far as comparing myself to others in porn… I match up relatively well in size (not the biggest by any stretch, but pretty good), and other things like consistency of semen, that varies based on a ton of factors anyways (porn stars actually “save up” and practice methods to increase their “flow” for shoots).

Also, when I do/did look at porn, I typically favored the amateur stuff. Personally I think the professional stuff is stupid, and it tends to not really work for me. So I’m comparing myself more to other amateurs like myself anyways.

Blackberry's avatar

I didn’t think anything different. I was just kinda like “Oh, that’s interesting…” and I did wonder if every guy has a huge wang except me.

I just remember seeing the pictures of STDs and not wanting to have sex. I saw women as disgusting for awhile after.

TheIntern55's avatar

When they showed us the sex video in 7th grade (it was extremely graphic), one girl in my class just passed out. Everyone else was just really disturbed. That girl is still exempt from health classes because she always gets lightheaded just hearing about any of that.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I don’t remember when I saw my first porn flick but I do remember wondering why it took the guy so long to orgasm. Here he is with an unbelievably sexy woman and he can’t manage to orgasm. Poor guy.
About 30 years ago a friend of mine owned a fantastic house and actually allowed it to be used as a setting for a porn film. He said the guy (actor) had squeeze packets of what looked like dish detergent that he held under his penis. He would squirt it out when he wanted to “cum’. That way he could do the take over and over until it landed where it was required.
I guess, in the movies and professional wrestling, not everything is real. Sometimes the women are even faking it. Who knew? ;-)

Ayesha's avatar

Pictures of STDs scared the shit out of me.

gailcalled's avatar

@worriedguy: I wonder what that guy’s job description read like.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Hmm, I remember feeling naughty watching porn. I never cared exactly for how it all looked, just that I can masturbate to it, you know? I suppose there are ways it has affected my thoughts on sex but I don’t let it get to me or get to my sex life. I know how to separate fantasy from reality especially since my reality is so much better than porn, any porn.

mazingerz88's avatar

For two years before I had my first sex ever, I worried about my cock’s a bit of a bent shape. Wondered if it could actually penetrate and all that. Finally, when the moment of truth came, she had a great time as I did. The bent angle had its advantages it seemed!

From porn, I learned some valuable things. Really. I found out that sometimes, you don’t have to be a great looking guy to satisfy a female. You could compensate by being great in foreplay and being attentive to her unique needs that vary from women to women. I like the idea of mental fucking more than the somewhat clumsy mechanical aspects of the sexual act.

zensky's avatar

I have nothing to contribute – I was a youthful Don Juan de Marco – it came naturally and easily to me – still does.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Two female prison guards screwing some other girl with a night stick was the very first piece of porn I ever saw. I guess I was about 10 or 11 years old at the time.

Around about this age, porn had become a kind of currency, it could be traded for all kinds of things, even things worth much more. There was always someone willing to trade a mario brother cart or something for a stack of magazines.

Personally, all I can remember is how cool it was to get our hands on some porn. I can’t really remember any negative sides to it.

mazingerz88's avatar

@poisonedantidote Trade on dude, trade on! Lol.

ganti_x89's avatar

I started with magazines and then i guess ended up with videos. I was 12 at the time and didn’t really have any insecurities since i started with magazines but after i started getting into clips and videos i started getting those insecurities as well me getting older.

Now I’m sorta over those insecurities because its not about the size or how long does it take to orgasm, as long as you and your partner are both satisfied that is all that matter.

Kardamom's avatar

I’ve only seen a couple of soft core porn films in my life. And it was after I was already an adult and sexually active. The films only showed the woman’s “naked parts” which I thought was kind of odd. The man and the women (not just one, hmmmmm?) looked like your typical fake boobed folks like you see in Playboy and Living with the Kardashians. I thought the whole thing was kind of silly and gross. And while they were going at it, the women kept going, “Ooooo, Aaaaaah, ooooooo, aaaaaah”

But the main thing I wondered was why, in both movies, did they have that awful 70’s sounding Boom shack a bwow now guitar music???

mazingerz88's avatar

@Kardamom Uhmm, maybe its time to check out new stuff? Lol.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

It made me self conscious of my body. The women in the movies and magazines all seemed to have large labia minora, so much so that it showed through the lips… which mine never did, even when aroused, not even close. I thought something was wrong with me because mine are very small. It took me a long time to get over that.
I also thought that penises were the most disgusting thing I had ever seen in my life. :)

Kardamom's avatar

@gailcalled I’m sure that you are familiar with that handy little book called Women. Our Bodies Ourselves I recall that there was a section in that book that talked about the joys of hand mirrors.

Kardamom's avatar

@mazingerz88 No thanks. I’ll just stick with The Nanny. That always works for me : )

tedibear's avatar

The minimal exposure to those images in health class really didn’t do anything to how I felt about what I had. Nor did I care what boys had because by the time I got to health class, I already had nephews who had diapers changed in front of me, so I knew what was there. It was a little embarrassing to go through those classes with boys, but that’s because I was nerdy and a touch shy.

Porn, on the other hand, merely confirmed what I learned via mainstream media. If you’re a woman and you’re not physically beautiful with the perfect face, hair, legs, breasts, ass, and stomach, you aren’t worth much to men or the the world in general.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My first exposure to porn was as an under 10yrs old kid, looking through stacks of magazines with my friends. We marveled over pubic hair and grown women with huge nipples. The magazines we had access to very pretty vanilla, no ass pounding pics, no massive cum on the face shots, no looking at the inside of a woman’s vagina. In those times, sex to us was intriguing and… sexy. I didn’t think at the time of any connection to stir insecurity in me. Too young.

Looking at porn today, most of it seems to be more for shock appeal and I find most of it repulsive and definitely unsexy, unglamorous, unarousing. It’s like a carnival instead or a freakshow of what sex can be.

spykenij's avatar

I ran across my step-father’s extremely graphic porns (magazines, videos and computer games) stashed all over the house, all the time. At first, it made me sick inside to think he was watching that stuff, especially when he should have been focusing on being happy with my mom. I didn’t know people did it for fun. I thought it was something people only did when they wanted to have kids. I ended up finding myself going to look at it more often and I was drawn to the women, like a mini pervert. I didn’t know anything about gay people, nor that we existed back then, but I knew I was only going to “play house” if I got to be the dad. I felt like a little boy trapped inside a little girl’s body. I used to say, from about 4–14 yrs old, that I was going to have a sex change. That was until I found out that you just don’t go into a room, pick the one you want out of a jar and then have it sewn on. I am still pretty bummed about that…but I usually don’t get what I want anyway, apparently. I am ok with just being me. I knew for damn sure that I was not female, nor did I identify in any way, shape or form as a female. I have no idea what a woman feels like with porn, all I know is that I was a total guy about it. I’m not as into it as I was when I was a teenager, but I can be if I want to. I used to watch, listen to rather, the scrambled Spice channel on cable. That’s all I need and I can be a jack-rabbit. I made a record for myself in several ways. I missed 29 days of 9th grade because of the damn Spice channel. I also set a record for how many times I could get off in 15 minutes. Ahh…the good ol’ days :) Anyway, the only time I felt any guilt was when I was younger and it was usually after I was “done” watching it. Since then, I have watched porn with girlfriends and a rare, but occassional visit to clipdirectory.com for release. What I learned about porn is that most people don’t even do it like that and that some of the stuff is kinda fun to try. I also learned while working at a pretty big named and only true fetish shop in Columbus, Ohio – The Chamber. What a crazy job that was! If some people think gay people are bad, wait til they get a load of the underbelly of the kink scene! Any questions on TENS units, violet wands, Sybians (screwing machine), Lelo, CBT (ALWAYS SAY NO…it means cock and ball torture whince), floggers, whips, canes, cock rings, butt plugs, big gay sex toys, sex parties/workshops (Winter Wickedness, Kinko de Mayo), events,...and whiskers on kittens… :) I can always tell you the what, when it’s used, how there people use it, but not the why.

gailcalled's avatar

@Kardamom: “Our Bodies, Ourselves” was the first book that got the details right, and it was always all in the details. Finally, women were able to interview other women; everyone told the truth (it seemed), and the reporters reported it accurately. It was my Gideon bible for years.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@gailcalled: OMG, other kids got to read that book? For some reason, being given that book as part of sex was weird. None of kids wanted to talk about it but we were all fascinated and I’m sure read it cover to cover.

gailcalled's avatar

When the book was published (Oct. 1971), we were young women. I would imagine that lots of women (of all ages) got their hands on it.

Coincidently, it just celebrated its 40th anniversary many, many new editions.

spykenij's avatar

Umm…did anyone see the pube question on the right side of this screen? Hehehe : )

gailcalled's avatar

There have been dozens of similar questions…nothing prurient about them.

rojo's avatar

Our Health teacher (football coach) in seveth grade told us, “If you don’t know it by now, you don’t need to know it, so lets move on to diseases you will get>..!” Scared the piss out of most of us.

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