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NostalgicChills's avatar

Why do I feel this way? (please see details)

Asked by NostalgicChills (2757 points ) December 1st, 2011

I don’t know how to describe it.
I used to be so happy, joyful and optimistic. Now I’m completely emotionless. I can’t cry at anything (except for things about animal abuse), it’s like NOTHING phases me. I literally have to force myself to smile and laugh. I haven’t laughed a real laugh in about two months. I also feel like I have absolutely no motivation, and that life is passing right by me. People think I’m cold and heartless if I don’t express the same emotions as they do.
So, what the heck is wrong with me?

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20 Answers

gondwanalon's avatar

If you are taking any prescription medications and or recreational drugs, then that may be someting that could contribute to your sudden change.

Ryukushun's avatar

Heard of depression? Recently lost something/someone that gave you motivaton? Lost your sense of purpose?

sakura's avatar

It could be a form of depression, I am no expert, but I would go and see your GP and see what they think, it may be worth seeing a psychologist.
No emotion is scary to me, as I live by mine so much, I hope you start on the path to wellness soon.
I agree with @Ryukushun it could be something to do with a loss of someone or something close xxx

NostalgicChills's avatar

@Ryukushun
Of course I’ve heard of it. I was just hoping I would never have it.

And My answer is yes to both of the other two questions.

Ryukushun's avatar

I understand. I’m stuck in the same boat. My motivation was my fiance. I wanted to do well great in life so in return I could give her a good life farther down the road. Then she left me for the guy she left for me. Since then all of my friends have noticed me change, and most of them don’t want to be around me much anymore. I almost gave up on everything, but I found a renewed purpose. It’s keeping me here for now. You should go see a psychologist just like @sakura said. Althought I personally do not prefer them, it could work for you. Just remember, we all have a purpose.

ccrow's avatar

It does sound like you could be depressed; if it doesn’t improve on its own in another month or so, you might benefit from antidepressants.

thesparrow's avatar

I’m sorry to hear that =[ I’ve heard of such things happening. ng gives her pleasure, etc..

CWOTUS's avatar

The obvious answer is: you’re depressed. I’m not telling you anything new; it’s what you told us, simply confirmed and repeated back to you.

Whether this is “classical depression” and it puts you in need of professional remediation or not – or it’s just “a case of the blahs” that everyone feels from time to time and for varying lengths of time – is between you and your closest advisers and your doctor. (It’s definitely worth having a medical checkup, because there can be physical causes for “lack of affect”, as well as physical causes for “classical depression”, and which should probably be treated.)

But assuming this isn’t a serious or treatable medical issue, you’re also asking the wrong question. Asking “what is wrong with…?” and “why is x so awful?” has you focusing on the wrong things in your life. That is, you’re focusing on “what is wrong” and “why is it so bad” and all kinds of other negatives.

I seriously suggest simply changing your question around to: “what might be fun?” or “what might be funny?” or “what can I do to improve x?” Sometimes it’s just the attitude adjustment that you need.

marinelife's avatar

You need to take the depression self-assessment test. It sounds like you are clinically depressed.

thesparrow's avatar

I don’t feel depressed, lately. Just very angry. Is this normal, too?

bluejay's avatar

I’m so sorry. I’ve been like that for years and it sucks! I hope this is just a phase for you. Are there any additional stressful or bad things in your life that may have just caused you to withdrawl your feelings? Are you around people you feel you aren’t safe to express feeling of sadness?

wundayatta's avatar

Yes. It is very likely you are depressed. See a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. If you can’t see a shrink, see a doctor.

If you are diagnosed with depression, there are medications that can help you. Also, you should start seeing a therapist. In addition, there will be a number of other things you can do, such as exercise, learning to meditate, volunteering, being around people as well as other things.

But please don’t wait. Go see a medical professional as soon as you can; preferably a psychiatrist. Depression is very serious. A shockingly high number of people die from it. I don’t know the numbers for straight depression, but I do know the numbers for bipolar depression: one in five people with bipolar disorder die. From suicide. Take depression the fuck seriously.

the_overthinker's avatar

Maybe you need to go and do something to liven up your life. Perhaps you feel that it is boring and repetitive now. I’ve felt like that before too.. I also thought that it was depression. But mine never lasts too long, usually just a few weeks or sometimes just a few days.

Go do something you don’t always do, but something that you enjoy/love. Maybe you need a schedule that is always different.

Whether this is just a phase, or it is depression. Good luck!

Bellatrix's avatar

I think you sound depressed. I can understand that it is something you hoped never to experience, but it is not uncommon. It is especially not uncommon when we have been through some sort of major transition. Perhaps the break-up of a relationship. Change of a job. Serious health issue. Loss of a loved one. Job loss. Individual physiological or psychological changes.

I hope you will go and talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. They may give you medication or offer advice about who else you can see or other forms of therapy you can try to help you feel happier and more positive. I hope so anyway. Other people have suggested things you can do in the meantime. Eat healthy, get some exercise, fresh air and sunshine, spend time with positive people doing some fun things. These things may not resolve how you are feeling totally, but they can’t hurt.

2davidc8's avatar

I agree with everyone else that you sound depressed. There are some excellent recommendations above. I second @wundayatta‘s suggestion of volunteering. Helping someone else may give you a new purpose. And you’ll get to meet new people If you’re not in too deep of a funk, I would also add one more suggestion: travel! If possible, make it an extended trip and go experience a culture different from your own. You’ll gain a different perspective! But if you’re in a deep depression, go see a therapist first.

NostalgicChills's avatar

@CWOTUS
It’s not just an attitude adjustment I need. I’ve felt like this for 3 years now. And I guess that deep down, I figured it was depression, but I never wanted to admit it.
Thanks everyone for your answers.
Unfortunately, I can’t go see a psychologist/psychiatrist. I’m still young, and my parents disapprove of anything like Depression. If they found out, they’d KILL me. So, I guess I’ll just wait until I’m 18 and I can go by myself.

CWOTUS's avatar

Talk to a school counselor. It may be necessary for another adult to help bring your parents out of the Dark Ages. Depression isn’t a character flaw, ‘growing pains’ or an attitude problem (although you can modify your attitude to lessen the effects sometimes). It’s a biochemical problem in your brain. Would they be upset with you if you contracted the flu, or got a cold or measles?

If you’ve been suffering with depression for three years, then it’s far past time that you had help. As @wundayatta says, this is a malaise that kills.

wundayatta's avatar

I forgot to say that sleep is very important. Now, sometimes with depression you sleep all the time. But there are also times when you can’t sleep, particularly when depression is associated with anxiety. Go to bed at the same time every night. Do not watch TV before you sleep. Read a book or something, instead. No news. You want to soothe yourself; not give yourself more to worry about.

As to family members not believing in depression—that is a serious problem. The advice out there that I see suggests that you should tell them, anyway. Here’s and article from Wikihow about how to tell them, and what to do if they aren’t helpful. Now I’m a little leery of Wikihow since a friend of mine just told me how she writes articles for them (when she doesn’t know something, she asks my brother, since she doesn’t know a thing about the topic she’s writing on), but I’ve read this advice and it makes sense to me.

Your parents are not going to KILL you. That is depression talking. They love you and if you follow the instructions, I think you will have a very good chance of them taking you seriously. I think you should research depression at WebMD, so you have a list of symptoms to show them this is serious. Also, scare them about how many people end up dead. I’m sorry. I’m about to get really angry about this. My parents are like this, too, and I never told them I was sick. That is ok, because I’m an adult, but they could have made my teenhood a lot better if they had acknowledged I was in trouble back then. You need your parents to be on your side and to advocate for you.

Part of why you don’t believe they will is because of the depression. Depression can make you believe you are not worth it. I don’t know why your parents don’t believe in it because you haven’t said. Is it religious? Is it that they think people are lazy and can just pull themselves out of it if they want? Do they know what clinical depression is? Education can help.

You need help. Your parents should help. You shouldn’t have to educate them to get the help. But life doesn’t treat us fairly, so that’s what you have to do, sometimes. Do all the work yourself even though you are in no position to do it. The other thing you could do, although I do not recommend this, is to let yourself go to the point where you have to be hospitalized. If you ever do that, you want to plan which hospital you go to, because most of them really suck.

Also, find an online support group for teens with depression. The National Alliance on Mental Illness runs such support groups. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) also runs online support groups and you could join a general support group, or they may even have one especially for teens. People who spend 4 years in a support group tend to be much healthier than those without support. You need people like you because they are the only ones who really understand and who you can feel safe speaking the truth to. I can tell you that my support group has been crucial in saving my life.

All right. I hope I’m not overwhelming you with information. You are not alone. You can get better. You can get help. It is worth trying your parents. They might surprise you. Even if they don’t help, you can get help anyway. People understand and will provide services whether you can pay or not. Do not let money stop you. Your life is at risk and you are too smart to be willing to give it up. Help is available and it works!!!!

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