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BoyWonder's avatar

How should I propose to my longtime girlfriend?

Asked by BoyWonder (806 points ) January 27th, 2012

I’m looking to propose to my best friend, my girlfriend. I can’t afford a crazy expensive ring but we love each other very much and we’re pretty big on making treasured memories. I’m blessed to have a woman in my life who isn’t materialistic at all. I wanna make the best, longest lasting impression as possible. I know there’s no set protocol but I’m curious as to how you jellies feel about this. I’m 31, she’s 34 and she has a 12 year old son. How do you guys think I should do it? And how should we tell our parents? Should both of us be present?

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13 Answers

GladysMensch's avatar

Here is a page of creative marriage proposals. I like the idea of the car proposal… change it up by doing it at night, have someone (in a non-recognizable vehicle) cut you off and then slam on the brakes. You can act all upset and honk your horn. Put a programmable LED light set in the back window of the cut-off car. After you honk have the driver of the front car turn the LED’s on. Have them say something like:
“Ha ha, I’m in front of you.”
“But, you’re the winner”
“Because the two of you”
“make a great couple”
“In fact”
her name here
“this is your name here
“will you marry me”

pull out ring

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

First, congratulations on such an important decision! What a wonderful and exciting moment for you.

I once sent a very dear friend a bouquet of balloons. She still talks about it to this day.

You can be traditional and buy her a ring. Since you mentioned she’s not materialistic, the size of it won’t matter. Present it to her at your favorite restaurant.

Plan an outing to a beautiful spot you both love and propose to her there.

Have a dinner party with both sets of parents present and do it in front of all of them. That settles the problem of how to tell them.

Buy a ring that you can afford, bake it into a cupcake, and present it to her telling her there’s a surprise baked into it so that she won’t bite into it hard and chip a tooth or anything. On second thought, that one doesn’t seem like such a good idea.

Decide on an activity that you two enjoy a lot and pop the question in the middle of the activity. I’m picturing everything from playing a game at home, watching a movie about a love story (My Big Fat Greek Wedding comes to mind), bicycling, hiking, or anything that would lend itself to being memorable to her.

What does she enjoy doing? Plan a day around that and propose at the end of the day.

This is so exciting. Let us know how it turns out.

mazingerz88's avatar

Uhmm…ask her to join Fluther and post a reply to this board-? Kidding! CONGRATS! : )

AnonymousWoman's avatar

To her, you can say something like: “You’re my best friend and you mean the world to me. I love you and respect you so much. You are very special to me. I would like you to be a part of my family by making you my wife… Will you marry me?”

To her parents, you can say something like: “Your daughter is the most important woman in the world to me. She is not only my girlfriend, but she’s also my best friend. I respect her and I respect you both. Since I do, your opinion is very important to me. How do you feel about us getting married?”

To your own parents, you can say something like: “I’ve decided I’m going to marry my girlfriend. She means a lot to me and I am very happy with her. We share (such and such) values… and I feel really positive about us. Since she will be your daughter-in-law, how do you feel about this? Is there anything you’d like to tell me before we get married?”

marinelife's avatar

Since you are both into treasured memories, make this one really special. Tell her to dress up, because you are taking her to a fancy dinner.Take her to a landmark in your city (like the Space Needle in Seattle, the Empire State Building in New York, etc.) Have a friend set up to be there with a camera. Have your friend photograph you proposing. Then after wards, go to dinner at a nice restaurant.

Or if you two have a favorite activity (roller skating. ballroom dancing, watching pro football), do it at the venue where the activity takes place. If it’s something you do with others, invite them to participate. You could also invite her parents.

Charles's avatar

Pull out the US Tax Code and build a case that getting married will allow you to file joint and that will save taxes. End it with something like “Let’s give it a try for a couple weeks.”

GladysMensch's avatar

@Charles Excellent answer. Let’s not forget about her rights once you die:
– Social Security pension
– veteran’s pensions, indemnity compensation for service-connected deaths, medical care, and nursing home care, right to burial in veterans’ cemeteries, educational assistance, and housing
– survivor benefits for federal employees and spouses of longshoremen, harbor workers, railroad workers, as well as those for coal miners who die of black lung disease
– $100,000 to spouse of any public safety officer killed in the line of duty
– continuation of employer-sponsored health benefits
– renewal and termination rights to spouse’s copyrights on death of spouse
– continued water rights of spouse in some circumstances
– payment of wages and workers compensation benefits after worker death
– making, revoking, and objecting to post-mortem anatomical gifts

Any woman who says “no” to that list has a heart of stone.

sakura's avatar

My hubby put my ring in a christmas cracker xx

maybe you could too? xx

chyna's avatar

However you do it, try to include the son in some way. “Will you and little Jimmy be my family for the rest of our lives?”
I knew a guy and his girl that loved to hike. He went to the hiking trail early and put a bottle with a cork and message in the bottle near a tree. She loved treasure hunts and he knew she couldn’t resist seeing a message in a bottle. She opened the bottle with the proposal and he was ready with the ring. This is just to point out that you can do it in some way doing something you both love doing, but doesn’t have to cost a thing.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

^ Oh yeah. Definitely include her son.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Do you know if you announce the engagement after that both sets of parents and the son will be thrilled by the news? If yes then ask to take her to a nice restaurant you both like. You can set it up where after dinner plates are cleared the server can bring her a single stemmed rose with your ring tied to it, someone on staff to take pictures as you recite your verbal proposal. Meet both sets of parents and son for dessert at your house or if you can swing the cost, invite them to a family dinner so they can join you both for the surprise.

Bellatrix's avatar

Think about what she loves. Use that as the basis of your proposal.

Or, where did you go for your very first date or meeting? Can you go back there? Relive the most important date of your life, but include her son… and then ask her to marry you?

Whatever you do, make it about all three of you, and make it relevant to something in your lives. It doesn’t matter about the ring. That can come later, if at all. Read some of the threads here, not all women want a ring.

And let us know what you do and what she says!

jazmina88's avatar

If you are traditional, would you ask her father first??

Include your son in the question, and announce to families together with all 3 of you.

Congrats!

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